白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-23 22:14:07 Post subject: Snow Burning |
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Snow Burning
“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind whispers.
but I could not find,
where are the fire?
“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind blows.
I close my eyes,
but could not feel,
the smoke and the warmth.
“Snow burning, snow burning”
the wind cries.
I look around,
ashes cover ashes,
lay down on the land,
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree:
“Snow burning,
the snow burning.” |
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kino 秀才
Joined: 23 Dec 2006 Posts: 411 Location: beijing kinoCollection |
Posted: 2008-02-23 23:35:42 Post subject: |
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Snow Burning
雪在燃烧
“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind whispers.
but I could not find,
where are the fire?
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风轻轻地说
但是我却看不到
火在哪里?
“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind blows.
I close my eyes,
but could not feel,
the smoke and the warmth.
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风掠过
我闭上眼睛
却不能感觉
那烟和温暖
“Snow burning, snow burning”
the wind cries.
I look around,
ashes cover ashes,
lay down on the land,
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree:
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风呼号着
我环顾四周
灰烬成堆
躺在这片大地上
我听到
鸟儿在枝头吟唱
“Snow burning,
the snow burning.”
“雪儿在燃烧,
那雪在燃烧”。
边读边译~~~ |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-24 03:34:43 Post subject: |
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谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文.  |
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kino 秀才
Joined: 23 Dec 2006 Posts: 411 Location: beijing kinoCollection |
Posted: 2008-02-25 05:35:54 Post subject: |
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白水 Moonlight wrote: |
谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文.  |
翻的不好,莫怪~~ |
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Lake 举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
Posted: 2008-02-25 13:13:11 Post subject: |
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Kino 快手快脚。
改语法错误比改诗容易。像这两句:
Quote: |
but I could not find,
where are the fire? |
but I could not find
where the fire is.
or simply,
but I could not find
the fire.
Quote: |
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree: |
and I hear
a bird singing on a tree
当然只是个人意见,其他人可能有不同的看法。你的诗,你决定。 _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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白水 大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-25 13:51:28 Post subject: |
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lake, thanks a lot. i will think it carefuly, after i complete my homework  |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2008-02-28 17:13:34 Post subject: |
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i like to read the poem aloud!
"lay down on the land"---- on the ground ? _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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