| 白水 大学士
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-10-02
 帖子: 14102
 来自: TORONTO
 白水北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-23 22:14:07    发表主题: Snow Burning |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| Snow Burning 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 wind whispers.
 but I could not find,
 where are the fire?
 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 wind blows.
 I close my eyes,
 but could not feel,
 the smoke and the warmth.
 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 the wind cries.
 I look around,
 ashes cover ashes,
 lay down on the land,
 and I hearing that
 a bird singing on a tree:
 
 “Snow burning,
 the snow burning.”
 |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| kino 秀才
 
 
 注册时间: 2006-12-23
 帖子: 411
 来自: beijing
 kino北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-23 23:35:42    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| Snow Burning 雪在燃烧
 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 wind whispers.
 but I could not find,
 where are the fire?
 “雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
 风轻轻地说
 但是我却看不到
 火在哪里?
 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 wind blows.
 I close my eyes,
 but could not feel,
 the smoke and the warmth.
 “雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
 风掠过
 我闭上眼睛
 却不能感觉
 那烟和温暖
 
 “Snow burning, snow burning”
 the wind cries.
 I look around,
 ashes cover ashes,
 lay down on the land,
 and I hearing that
 a bird singing on a tree:
 “雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
 风呼号着
 我环顾四周
 灰烬成堆
 躺在这片大地上
 我听到
 鸟儿在枝头吟唱
 
 
 “Snow burning,
 the snow burning.”
 “雪儿在燃烧,
 那雪在燃烧”。
 
 
  边读边译~~~ |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-10-02
 帖子: 14102
 来自: TORONTO
 白水北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-24 03:34:43    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| 谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文.  |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| kino 秀才
 
 
 注册时间: 2006-12-23
 帖子: 411
 来自: beijing
 kino北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-25 05:35:54    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| 
 
	  | 白水 Moonlight 写到: |  
	  | 谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文.  |  翻的不好,莫怪~~
 |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| Lake 举人
 
  
 注册时间: 2007-01-09
 帖子: 1286
 
 Lake北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-25 13:13:11    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| Kino 快手快脚。 
 改语法错误比改诗容易。像这两句:
 
 
 
 
	  | 引用: |  
	  | but I could not find, where are the fire?
 |  
 but I could not find
 where the fire is.
 
 or simply,
 
 but I could not find
 the fire.
 
 
 
 
	  | 引用: |  
	  | and I hearing that a bird singing on a tree:
 |  
 and I hear
 a bird singing on a tree
 
 当然只是个人意见,其他人可能有不同的看法。你的诗,你决定。
 _________________
 the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
 |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 注册时间: 2006-10-02
 帖子: 14102
 来自: TORONTO
 白水北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-25 13:51:28    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| lake, thanks a lot.  i will think it carefuly, after i complete my homework    |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		| William Zhou周道模 探花
 
 
 注册时间: 2007-06-10
 帖子: 3950
 来自: 中国四川广汉
 William Zhou周道模北美枫文集
 | 
			
				|  发表于: 2008-02-28 17:13:34    发表主题: |   |  
				| 
 |  
				| i like to read the poem aloud! 
 "lay down on the land"---- on the ground ?
 _________________
 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
 周道模
 |  | 
	
		| 返页首 |  | 
	
		|  |  | 
	
		|  | 
	
		|  |