中国经典 》 紅樓夢 A Dream of Red Mansions 》
第三十二回 訴肺腑心迷活寶玉 含恥辱情烈死金釧 CHAPTER XXXII.
曹雪芹 Cao Xueqin
高鶚 Gao E
CHAPTER XXXII. 話說寶玉見那麒麟,心中甚是歡喜,便伸手來拿,笑道:“虧你揀着了。你是那裏揀的?"史湘雲笑道:“幸而是這個,明兒倘或把印也丟了,難道也就罷了不成?"寶玉笑道:“倒是丟了印平常,若丟了這個,我就該死了。”襲人斟了茶來與史湘雲吃,一面笑道:“大姑娘聽見前兒你大喜了。”史湘雲紅了臉,吃茶不答。襲人道:“這會子又害鱢了。你還記得十年前,咱們在西邊暖閣住着,晚上你同我說的話兒?那會子不害鱢,這會子怎麽又害鱢了? "史湘雲笑道:“你還說呢。那會子咱們那麽好。後來我們太太沒了,我傢去住了一程子, 怎麽就把你派了跟二哥哥,我來了,你就不象先待我了。”襲人笑道:“你還說呢。先姐姐長姐姐短哄着我替你梳頭洗臉,作這個弄那個,如今大了,就拿出小姐的款來。你既拿小姐的款,我怎敢親近呢?"史湘雲道:“阿彌陀佛,冤枉冤哉!我要這樣, 就立刻死了。你瞧瞧,這麽大熱天,我來了,必定趕來先瞧瞧你。不信你問問縷兒,我在傢時時刻刻那一回不念你幾聲。 "話未了,忙的襲人和寶玉都勸道:“頑話你又認真了。 還是這麽性急。”史湘雲道:“你不說你的話噎人,倒說人性急。”一面說,一面打開手帕子,將戒指遞與襲人。襲人感謝不盡,因笑道:“你前兒送你姐姐們的,我已得了, 今兒你親自又送來,可見是沒忘了我。衹這個就試出你來了。戒指兒能值多少,可見你的心真。”史湘雲道:“是誰給你的?"襲人道:“是寶姑娘給我的。”湘雲笑道:“我衹當是林姐姐給你的, 原來是寶釵姐姐給了你。我天天在傢裏想着,這些姐姐們再沒一個比寶姐姐好的。可惜我們不是一個娘養的。我但凡有這麽個親姐姐,就是沒了父母,也是沒妨礙的。”說着,眼睛圈兒就紅了。寶玉道:“罷,罷,罷!不用提這個話。”史湘雲道:“ 提這個便怎麽?我知道你的心病,恐怕你的林妹妹聽見,又怪嗔我贊了寶姐姐。可是為這個不是? "襲人在旁嗤的一笑,說道:“雲姑娘,你如今大了,越發心直口快了。”寶玉笑道:“我說你們這幾個人難說話,果然不錯。”史湘雲道:“好哥哥,你不必說話教我惡心。衹會在我們跟前說話,見了你林妹妹,又不知怎麽了。”
襲人道:“且別說頑話,正有一件事還要求你呢。”史湘雲便問"什麽事?"襲人道:“有一雙鞋,摳了墊心子。我這兩日身上不好,不得做,你可有工夫替我做做?"史湘雲笑道:“這又奇了,你傢放着這些巧人不算,還有什麽針綫上的,裁剪上的,怎麽教我做起來?你的活計叫誰做,誰好意思不做呢。”襲人笑道:“你又糊塗了。你難道不知道,我們這屋裏的針綫, 是不要那些針綫上的人做的。”史湘雲聽了,便知是寶玉的鞋了,因笑道:“既這麽說,我就替你做了罷。衹是一件,你的我纔作,別人的我可不能。”襲人笑道:“又來了,我是個什麽,就煩你做鞋了。實告訴你,可不是我的。你別管是誰的,橫竪我領情就是了。”史湘雲道:“論理,你的東西也不知煩我做了多少了,今兒我倒不做了的原故, 你必定也知道。”襲人道:“倒也不知道。”史湘雲冷笑道:“前兒我聽見把我做的扇套子拿着和人傢比, 賭氣又鉸了。我早就聽見了,你還瞞我。這會子又叫我做,我成了你們的奴才了。 "寶玉忙笑道:“前兒的那事,本不知是你做的。”襲人也笑道:“他本不知是你做的。是我哄他的話,說是新近外頭有個會做活的女孩子,說紮的出奇的花,我叫他拿了一個扇套子試試看好不好。 他就信了,拿出去給這個瞧給那個看的。不知怎麽又惹惱了林姑娘,鉸了兩段。回來他還叫趕着做去,我纔說了是你作的,他後悔的什麽似的。 "史湘雲道:“越發奇了。林姑娘他也犯不上生氣,他既會剪,就叫他做。”襲人道:“他可不作呢。饒這麽着,老太太還怕他勞碌着了。大夫又說好生靜養纔好,誰還煩他做? 舊年好一年的工夫,做了個香袋兒,今年半年,還沒拿針綫呢。”正說着,有人來回說:“興隆街的大爺來了,老爺叫二爺出去會。”寶玉聽了,便知是賈雨村來了,心中好不自在。 襲人忙去拿衣服。寶玉一面蹬着靴子,一面抱怨道:“有老爺和他坐着就罷了, 回回定要見我。”史湘雲一邊搖着扇子,笑道:“自然你能會賓接客,老爺纔叫你出去呢。”寶玉道:“那裏是老爺,都是他自己要請我去見的。”湘雲笑道:“主雅客來勤,自然你有些警他的好處,他纔衹要會你。”寶玉道:“罷,罷,我也不敢稱雅,俗中又俗的一個俗人,並不願同這些人往來。”湘雲笑道:“還是這個情性不改。如今大了,你就不願讀書去考舉人進士的,也該常常的會會這些為官做宰的人們,談談講講些仕途經濟的學問,也好將來應酬世務,日後也有個朋友。沒見你成年傢衹在我們隊裏攪些什麽!"寶玉聽了道:“姑娘請別的姊妹屋裏坐坐,我這裏仔細污了你知經濟學問的。”襲人道:“雲姑娘快別說這話。上回也是寶姑娘也說過一回,他也不管人臉上過的去過不去,他就咳了一聲,拿起腳來走了。這裏寶姑娘的話也沒說完,見他走了,登時羞的臉通紅,說又不是,不說又不是。幸而是寶姑娘,那要是林姑娘,不知又鬧到怎麽樣,哭的怎麽樣呢。 提起這個話來,真真的寶姑娘叫人敬重,自己訕了一會子去了。我倒過不去,衹當他惱了。誰知過後還是照舊一樣,真真有涵養,心地寬大。誰知這一個反倒同他生分了。那林姑娘見你賭氣不理他,你得賠多少不是呢。”寶玉道:“林姑娘從來說過這些混帳話不曾?若他也說過這些混帳話,我早和他生分了。”襲人和湘雲都點頭笑道:“這原是混帳話。"原來林黛玉知道史湘雲在這裏,寶玉又趕來,一定說麒麟的原故。因此心下忖度着,近日寶玉弄來的外傳野史,多半才子佳人都因小巧玩物上撮合,或有鴛鴦,或有鳳凰,或玉環金ぐ,或鮫帕鸞縧,皆由小物而遂終身。今忽見寶玉亦有麒麟,便恐藉此生隙,同史湘雲也做出那些風流佳事來。因而悄悄走來,見機行事,以察二人之意。不想剛走來,正聽見史湘雲說經濟一事,寶玉又說:“林妹妹不說這樣混帳話,若說這話, 我也和他生分了。”林黛玉聽了這話,不覺又喜又驚,又悲又嘆。所喜者,果然自己眼力不錯, 素日認他是個知己,果然是個知己。所驚者,他在人前一片私心稱揚於我,其親熱厚密, 竟不避嫌疑。所嘆者,你既為我之知己,自然我亦可為你之知己矣,既你我為知己,則又何必有金玉之論哉;既有金玉之論,亦該你我有之,則又何必來一寶釵哉!所悲者,父母早逝,雖有銘心刻骨之言,無人為我主張。況近日每覺神思恍惚,病已漸成, 醫者更雲氣弱血虧,恐緻勞怯之癥,你我雖為知己,但恐自不能久待,你縱為我知己, 奈我薄命何!想到此間,不禁滾下淚來。待進去相見,自覺無味,便一面拭淚,一面抽身回去了。
這裏寶玉忙忙的穿了衣裳出來, 忽見林黛玉在前面慢慢的走着,似有拭淚之狀,便忙趕上來, 笑道:“妹妹往那裏去?怎麽又哭了?又是誰得罪了你?"林黛玉回頭見是寶玉,便勉強笑道:“好好的,我何曾哭了。”寶玉笑道:“你瞧瞧,眼睛上的淚珠兒未幹,還撒謊呢。 "一面說,一面禁不住擡起手來替他拭淚。林黛玉忙嚮後退了幾步,說道:“你又要死了! 作什麽這麽動手動腳的!"寶玉笑道:“說話忘了情,不覺的動了手,也就顧不的死活。 "林黛玉道:“你死了倒不值什麽,衹是丟下了什麽金,又是什麽麒麟,可怎麽樣呢?"一句話又把寶玉說急了,趕上來問道:“你還說這話,到底是咒我還是氣我呢?"林黛玉見問,方想起前日的事來,遂自悔自己又說造次了,忙笑道:“你別着急,我原說錯了。這有什麽的,筋都暴起來,急的一臉汗。”一面說,一面禁不住近前伸手替他拭面上的汗。寶玉瞅了半天,方說道"你放心"三個字。林黛玉聽了,怔了半天,方說道:“我有什麽不放心的?我不明白這話。你倒說說怎麽放心不放心?"寶玉嘆了一口氣,問道:“你果不明白這話?難道我素日在你身上的心都用錯了?連你的意思
若體貼不着, 就難怪你天天為我生氣了。”林黛玉道:“果然我不明白放心不放心的話。”寶玉點頭嘆道:“好妹妹,你別哄我。果然不明白這話,不但我素日之意白用了,且連你素日待我之意也都辜負了。 你皆因總是不放心的原故Wolff,1679—1754)則首次把哲學分為本體論、宇宙論、心,纔弄了一身病。但凡寬慰些,這病也不得一日重似一日。”林黛玉聽了這話,如轟雷掣電,細細思之,竟比自己肺腑中掏出來的還覺懇切,竟有萬句言語,滿心要說,衹是半個字也不能吐,卻怔怔的望着他。此時寶玉心中也有萬句言語,不知從那一句上說起,卻也怔怔的望着黛玉。兩個人怔了半天,林黛玉衹咳了一聲,兩眼不覺滾下淚來,回身便要走。寶玉忙上前拉住,說道:“好妹妹,且略站住,我說一句話再走。”林黛玉一面拭淚,一面將手推開,說道:“有什麽可說的。你的話我早知道了!"口裏說着,卻頭也不回竟去了。
寶玉站着, 衹管發起呆來。原來方纔出來慌忙,不曾帶得扇子,襲人怕他熱,忙拿了扇子趕來送與他,忽擡頭見了林黛玉和他站着。一時黛玉走了,他還站着不動,因而趕上來說道:“你也不帶了扇子去,虧我看見,趕了送來。”寶玉出了神,見襲人和他說話,並未看出是何人來,便一把拉住,說道:“好妹妹,我的這心事,從來也不敢說,今兒我大膽說出來, 死也甘心!我為你也弄了一身的病在這裏,又不敢告訴人,衹好掩着。衹等你的病好了, 衹怕我的病纔得好呢。睡裏夢裏也忘不了你!"襲人聽了這話,嚇得魄消魂散, 衹叫"神天菩薩,坑死我了!"便推他道:“這是那裏的話!敢是中了邪?還不快去?"寶玉一時醒過來,方知是襲人送扇子來,羞的滿面紫漲,奪了扇子,便忙忙的抽身跑了。
這裏襲人見他去了,自思方纔之言,一定是因黛玉而起,如此看來,將來難免不纔之事,令人可驚可畏。想到此間,也不覺怔怔的滴下淚來,心下暗度如何處治方免此醜禍。 正裁疑間,忽有寶釵從那邊走來,笑道:“大毒日頭地下,出什麽神呢?"襲人見問,忙笑道:“那邊兩個雀兒打架,倒也好玩,我就看住了。”寶釵道:“寶兄弟這會子穿了衣服, 忙忙的那去了?我纔看見走過去,倒要叫住問他呢。他如今說話越發沒了經緯,我故此沒叫他了,由他過去罷。”襲人道:“老爺叫他出去。”寶釵聽了,忙道:噯喲!這麽黃天暑熱的, 叫他做什麽!別是想起什麽來生了氣,叫出去教訓一場。”襲人笑道:“不是這個,想是有客要會。”寶釵笑道:“這個客也沒意思,這麽熱天,不在傢裏涼快,還跑些什麽!"襲人笑道:“倒是你說說罷。”
寶釵因而問道:“雲丫頭在你們傢做什麽呢?"襲人笑道:’纔說了一會子閑話。你瞧, 我前兒粘的那雙鞋,明兒叫他做去。”寶釵聽見這話,便兩邊回頭,看無人來往用語。指物體投射出來的形象。它與感官相接觸而産生感覺。,便笑道:“你這麽個明白人,怎麽一時半刻的就不會體諒人情。我近來看着雲丫頭神情,
再風裏言風裏語的聽起來,那雲丫頭在傢裏竟一點兒作不得主。他們傢嫌費用大,竟不用那些針綫上的人,差不多的東西多是他們娘兒們動手。為什麽這幾次他來了,他和我說話兒,見沒人在跟前,他就說傢裏纍的很。我再問他兩句傢常過日子的話,他就連眼圈兒都紅了,口裏含含糊糊待說不說的。想其形景來,自然從小兒沒爹娘的苦。我看着他, 也不覺的傷起心來。”襲人見說這話,將手一拍,說:“是了,是了。怪道上月我煩他打十根蝴蝶結子,過了那些日子纔打發人送來,還說‘打的粗,且在別處能着使罷, 要勻淨的,等明兒來住着再好生打罷’。如今聽寶姑娘這話,想來我們煩他他不好推辭,不知他在傢裏怎麽三更半夜的做呢。可是我也糊塗了,早知是這樣,我也不煩他了。 "寶釵道:“上次他就告訴我,在傢裏做活做到三更天,若是替別人做一點半點,他傢的那些奶奶太太們還不受用呢。 "襲人道:“偏生我們那個牛心左性的小爺,憑着小的大的活計,一概不要傢裏這些活計上的人作。我又弄不開這些。”寶釵笑道:“你理他呢!衹管叫人做去,衹說是你做的就是了。”襲人笑道:“那裏哄的信他,他纔是認得出來呢。說不得我衹好慢慢的纍去罷了。”寶釵笑道:’你不必忙,我替你作些如何?"襲人笑道:“當真的這樣,就是我的福了。晚上我親自送過來。”
一句話未了, 忽見一個老婆子忙忙走來,說道:“這是那裏說起!金釧兒姑娘好好的投井死了!"襲人唬了一跳,忙問"那個金釧兒?"老婆子道:“那裏還有兩個金釧兒呢? 就是太太屋裏的。前兒不知為什麽攆他出去,在傢裏哭天哭地的,也都不理會他,誰知找他不見了。 剛纔打水的人在那東南角上井裏打水,見一個屍首,趕着叫人打撈起來, 誰知是他。他們傢裏還衹管亂着要救活,那裏中用了!"寶釵道:“這也奇了。”襲人聽說, 點頭贊嘆,想素日同氣之情,不覺流下淚來。寶釵聽見這話,忙嚮王夫人處來道安慰。這裏襲人回去不提。
卻說寶釵來至王夫人處, 衹見鴉雀無聞,獨有王夫人在裏間房內坐着垂淚。寶釵便不好提這事,衹得一旁坐了。王夫人便問:“你從那裏來?"寶釵道:“從園裏來。”王夫人道:“你從園裏來,可見你寶兄弟?"寶釵道:“纔倒看見了。他穿了衣服出去了用”命題,並以刃利之喻,論證神隨形滅而滅。發展了管子、,不知那裏去。”王夫人點頭哭道:“你可知道一樁奇事?金釧兒忽然投井死了!"寶釵見說,道:“怎麽好好的投井?這也奇了。”王夫人道:“原是前兒他把我一件東西弄壞了,我一時生氣,打了他幾下,攆了他下去。我衹說氣他兩天,還叫他上來,誰知他這麽氣性大,就投井死了。豈不是我的罪過。”寶釵嘆道:“姨娘是慈善人,固然這麽想。據我看來,他並不是賭氣投井。多半他下去住着,或是在井跟前憨頑,失了腳掉下去的。他在上頭拘束慣了, 這一出去,自然要到各處去頑頑逛逛,豈有這樣大氣的理!縱然有這樣大氣,也不過是個糊塗人,也不為可惜。”王夫人點頭嘆道:“這話雖然如此說,到底我心不安。”寶釵嘆道:“姨娘也不必念念於茲,十分過不去,不過多賞他幾兩銀子發送他,也就盡主僕之情了。 "王夫人道:“剛纔我賞了他娘五十兩銀子,原要還把你妹妹們的新衣服拿兩套給他妝裹。誰知鳳丫頭說可巧都沒什麽新做的衣服,衹有你林妹妹作生日的兩套。 我想你林妹妹那個孩子素日是個有心的,況且他也三災八難的,既說了給他過生日, 這會子又給人妝裹去,豈不忌諱。因為這麽樣,我現叫裁縫趕兩套給他。要是別的丫頭, 賞他幾兩銀子就完了,衹是金釧兒雖然是個丫頭,素日在我跟前比我的女兒也差不多。 "口裏說着,不覺淚下。寶釵忙道:“姨娘這會子又何用叫裁縫趕去,我前兒倒做了兩套, 拿來給他豈不省事。況且他活着的時候也穿過我的舊衣服,身量又相對。”王夫人道:“雖然這樣,難道你不忌諱?"寶釵笑道:“姨娘放心,我從來不計較這些。”一面說,一面起身就走。王夫人忙叫了兩個人來跟寶姑娘去。
一時寶釵取了衣服回來, 衹見寶玉在王夫人旁邊坐着垂淚。王夫人正纔說他,因寶釵來了,卻掩了口不說了。寶釵見此光景,察言觀色,早知覺了八分,於是將衣服交割明白。王夫人將他母親叫來拿了去。再看下回便知。
Hsi Jen and Hsiang-yuen tell their secret thoughts. Tai-yue is infatuated with the living Pao-yue.
While trying to conceal her sense of shame and injury Chin Ch'uan is driven by her impetuous feelings to seek death.
But to resume our narrative. At the sight of the unicorn, Pao-yue was filled with intense delight. So much so, that he forthwith put out his hand and made a grab for it. "Lucky enough it was you who picked it up!" he said, with a face beaming with smiles. "But when did you find it?"
"Fortunately it was only this!" rejoined Shih Hsiang-yuen laughing. "If you by and bye also lose your seal, will you likely banish it at once from your mind, and never make an effort to discover it?"
"After all," smiled Pao-yue, "the loss of a seal is an ordinary occurrence. But had I lost this, I would have deserved to die."
Hsi Jen then poured a cup of tea and handed it to Shih Hsiang-yuen. "Miss Senior," she remarked smilingly, "I heard that you had occasion the other day to be highly pleased."
Shih Hsiang-yuen flushed crimson. She went on drinking her tea and did not utter a single word.
"Here you are again full of shame!" Hsi Jen smiled. "But do you remember when we were living, about ten years back, in those warm rooms on the west side and you confided in me one evening, you didn't feel any shame then; and how is it you blush like this now?"
"Do you still speak about that!" exclaimed Shih Hsiang-yuen laughingly. "You and I were then great friends. But when our mother subsequently died and I went home for a while, how is it you were at once sent to be with my cousin Secundus, and that now that I've come back you don't treat me as you did once?"
"Are you yet harping on this!" retorted Hsi Jen, putting on a smile. "Why, at first, you used to coax me with a lot of endearing terms to comb your hair and to wash your face, to do this and that for you. But now that you've become a big girl, you assume the manner of a young mistress towards me, and as you put on these airs of a young mistress, how can I ever presume to be on a familiar footing with you?"
"O-mi-to-fu," cried Shih Hsiang-yuen. "What a false accusation! If I be guilty of anything of the kind, may I at once die! Just see what a broiling hot day this is, and yet as soon as I arrived I felt bound to come and look you up first. If you don't believe me, well, ask Lue Erh! And while at home, when did I not at every instant say something about you?"
Scarcely had she concluded than Hsi Jen and Pao-yue tried to soothe her. "We were only joking," they said, "but you've taken everything again as gospel. What! are you still so impetuous in your temperament!"
"You don't say," argued Shih Hsiang-yuen, "that your words are hard things to swallow, but contrariwise, call people's temperaments impetuous!"
As she spoke, she unfolded her handkerchief and, producing a ring, she gave it to Hsi Jen.
Hsi Jen did not know how to thank her enough. "When;" she consequently smiled, "you sent those to your cousin the other day, I got one also; and here you yourself bring me another to-day! It's clear enough therefore that you haven't forgotten me. This alone has been quite enough to test you. As for the ring itself, what is its worth? but it's a token of the sincerity of your heart!"
"Who gave it to you?" inquired Shih Hsiang-yuen.
"Miss Pao let me have it." replied Hsi Jen.
"I was under the impression," remarked Hsiang-yuen with a sigh, "that it was a present from cousin Lin. But is it really cousin Pao, that gave it to you! When I was at home, I day after day found myself reflecting that among all these cousins of mine, there wasn't one able to compare with cousin Pao, so excellent is she. How I do regret that we are not the offspring of one mother! For could I boast of such a sister of the same flesh and blood as myself, it wouldn't matter though I had lost both father and mother!"
While indulging in these regrets, her eyes got quite red.
"Never mind! never mind!" interposed Pao-yue. "Why need you speak of these things!"
"If I do allude to this," answered Shih Hsiang-yuen, "what does it matter? I know that weak point of yours. You're in fear and trembling lest your cousin Lin should come to hear what I say, and get angry with me again for eulogising cousin Pao! Now isn't it this, eh!"
"Ch'ih!" laughed Hsi Jen, who was standing by her. "Miss Yuen," she said, "now that you've grown up to be a big girl you've become more than ever openhearted and outspoken."
"When I contend;" smiled Pao-yue, "that it is difficult to say a word to any one of you I'm indeed perfectly correct!"
"My dear cousin," observed Shih Hsiang-yuen laughingly, "don't go on in that strain! You'll provoke me to displeasure. When you are with me all you are good for is to talk and talk away; but were you to catch a glimpse of cousin Lin, you would once more be quite at a loss to know what best to do!"
"Now, enough of your jokes!" urged Hsi Jen. "I have a favour to crave of you."
"What is it?" vehemently inquired Shih Hsiang-yuen.
"I've got a pair of shoes," answered Hsi Jen, "for which I've stuck the padding together; but I'm not feeling up to the mark these last few days, so I haven't been able to work at them. If you have any leisure, do finish them for me."
"This is indeed strange!" exclaimed Shih Hsiang-yuen. "Putting aside all the skilful workers engaged in your household, you have besides some people for doing needlework and others for tailoring and cutting; and how is it you appeal to me to take your shoes in hand? Were you to ask any one of those men to execute your work, who could very well refuse to do it?"
"Here you are in another stupid mood!" laughed Hsi Jen. "Can it be that you don't know that our sewing in these quarters mayn't be done by these needleworkers."
At this reply, it at once dawned upon Shih Hsiang-yuen that the shoes must be intended for Pao-yue. "Since that be the case," she in consequence smiled; "I'll work them for you. There's however one thing. I'll readily attend to any of yours, but I will have nothing to do with any for other people."
"There you are again!" laughed Hsi Jen. "Who am I to venture to trouble you to make shoes for me? I'll tell you plainly, however, that they are not mine. But no matter whose they are, it is anyhow I who'll be the recipient of your favour; that is sufficient."
"To speak the truth," rejoined Shih Hsiang-yuen, "you've put me to the trouble of working, I don't know how many things for you. The reason why I refuse on this occasion should be quite evident to you!"
"I can't nevertheless make it out!" answered Hsi Jen.
"I heard the other day," continued Shih Hsiang-yuen, a sardonic smile on her lip, "that while the fan-case, I had worked, was being held and compared with that of some one else, it too was slashed away in a fit of high dudgeon. This reached my ears long ago, and do you still try to dupe me by asking me again now to make something more for you? Have I really become a slave to you people?
"As to what occurred the other day," hastily explained Pao-yue smiling, "I positively had no idea that that thing was your handiwork."
"He never knew that you'd done it," Hsi Jen also laughed. "I deceived him by telling him that there had been of late some capital hands at needlework outside, who could execute any embroidery with surpassing beauty, and that I had asked them to bring a fan-case so as to try them and to see whether they could actually work well or not. He at once believed what I said. But as he produced the case and gave it to this one and that one to look at, he somehow or other, I don't know how, managed again to put some one's back up, and she cut it into two. On his return, however, he bade me hurry the men to make another; and when at length I explained to him that it had been worked by you, he felt, I can't tell you, what keen regret!"
"This is getting stranger and stranger!" said Shih Hsiang-yuen. "It wasn't worth the while for Miss Lin to lose her temper about it. But as she plies the scissors so admirably, why, you might as well tell her to finish the shoes for you."
"She couldn't," replied Hsi Jen, "for besides other things our venerable lady is still in fear and trembling lest she should tire herself in any way. The doctor likewise says that she will continue to enjoy good health, so long as she is carefully looked after; so who would wish to ask her to take them in hand? Last year she managed to just get through a scented bag, after a whole year's work. But here we've already reached the middle of the present year, and she hasn't yet taken up any needle or thread!"
In the course of their conversation, a servant came and announced 'that the gentleman who lived in the Hsing Lung Street had come.' "Our master," he added, "bids you, Mr. Secundus, come out and greet him."
As soon as Pao-yue heard this announcement, he knew that Chia Yue-ts'un must have arrived. But he felt very unhappy at heart. Hsi Jen hurried to go and bring his clothes. Pao-yue, meanwhile, put on his boots, but as he did so, he gave way to resentment. "Why there's father," he soliloquised, "to sit with him; that should be enough; and must he, on every visit he pays, insist upon seeing me!"
"It is, of course, because you have such a knack for receiving and entertaining visitors that Mr. Chia Cheng will have you go out," laughingly interposed Shih Hsiang-yuen from one side, as she waved her fan.
"Is it father's doing?" Pao-yue rejoined. "Why, it's he himself who asks that I should be sent for to see him."
"'When a host is courteous, visitors come often,'" smiled Hsiang-yuen, "so it's surely because you possess certain qualities, which have won his regard, that he insists upon seeing you."
"But I am not what one would call courteous," demurred Pao-yue. "I am, of all coarse people, the coarsest. Besides, I do not choose to have any relations with such people as himself."
"Here's again that unchangeable temperament of yours!" laughed Hsiang-yuen. "But you're a big fellow now, and you should at least, if you be loth to study and go and pass your examinations for a provincial graduate or a metropolitan graduate, have frequent intercourse with officers and ministers of state and discuss those varied attainments, which one acquires in an official career, so that you also may be able in time to have some idea about matters in general; and that when by and bye you've made friends, they may not see you spending the whole day long in doing nothing than loafing in our midst, up to every imaginable mischief."
"Miss," exclaimed Pao-yue, after this harangue, "pray go and sit in some other girl's room, for mind one like myself may contaminate a person who knows so much of attainments and experience as you do."
"Miss," ventured Hsi Jen, "drop this at once! Last time Miss Pao too tendered him this advice, but without troubling himself as to whether people would feel uneasy or not, he simply came out with an ejaculation of 'hai,' and rushed out of the place. Miss Pao hadn't meanwhile concluded her say, so when she saw him fly, she got so full of shame that, flushing scarlet, she could neither open her lips, nor hold her own counsel. But lucky for him it was only Miss Pao. Had it been Miss Lin, there's no saying what row there may not have been again, and what tears may not have been shed! Yet the very mention of all she had to tell him is enough to make people look up to Miss Pao with respect. But after a time, she also betook herself away. I then felt very unhappy as I imagined that she was angry; but contrary to all my expectations, she was by and bye just the same as ever. She is, in very truth, long-suffering and indulgent! This other party contrariwise became quite distant to her, little though one would have thought it of him; and as Miss Pao perceived that he had lost his temper, and didn't choose to heed her, she subsequently made I don't know how many apologies to him."
"Did Miss Lin ever talk such trash!" exclaimed Pao-yue. "Had she ever talked such stuff and nonsense, I would have long ago become chilled towards her."
"What you say is all trash!" Hsi Jen and Hsiang-yuen remarked with one voice, while they shook their heads to and fro and smiled.
Lin Tai-yue, the fact is, was well aware that now that Shih Hsiang-yuen was staying in the mansion, Pao-yue too was certain to hasten to come and tell her all about the unicorn he had got, so she thought to herself: "In the foreign traditions and wild stories, introduced here of late by Pao-yue, literary persons and pretty girls are, for the most part, brought together in marriage, through the agency of some trifling but ingenious nick-nack. These people either have miniature ducks, or phoenixes, jade necklets or gold pendants, fine handkerchiefs or elegant sashes; and they have, through the instrumentality of such trivial objects, invariably succeeded in accomplishing the wishes they entertained throughout their lives." When she recently discovered, by some unforeseen way, that Pao-yue had likewise a unicorn she began to apprehend lest he should make this circumstance a pretext to create an estrangement with her, and indulge with Shih Hsiang-yuen as well in various free and easy flirtations and fine doings. She therefore quietly crossed over to watch her opportunity and take such action as would enable her to get an insight into his and her sentiments. Contrary, however, to all her calculations, no sooner did she reach her destination, than she overheard Shih Hsiang-yuen dilate on the topic of experience, and Pao-yue go on to observe: "Cousin Lin has never indulged in such stuff and nonsense. Had she ever uttered any such trash, I would have become chilled even towards her!" This language suddenly produced, in Lin Tai-yue's mind, both surprise as well as delight; sadness as well as regret. Delight, at having indeed been so correct in her perception that he whom she had ever considered in the light of a true friend had actually turned out to be a true friend. Surprise, "because," she said to herself: "he has, in the presence of so many witnesses, displayed such partiality as to speak in my praise, and has shown such affection and friendliness for me as to make no attempt whatever to shirk suspicion." Regret, "for since," (she pondered), "you are my intimate friend, you could certainly well look upon me too as your intimate friend; and if you and I be real friends, why need there be any more talk about gold and jade? But since there be that question of gold and jade, you and I should have such things in our possession. Yet, why should this Pao-ch'ai step in again between us?" Sad, "because," (she reflected), "my father and mother departed life at an early period; and because I have, in spite of the secret engraven on my heart and imprinted on my bones, not a soul to act as a mentor to me. Besides, of late, I continuously feel confusion creep over my mind, so my disease must already have gradually developed itself. The doctors further state that my breath is weak and my blood poor, and that they dread lest consumption should declare itself, so despite that sincere friendship I foster for you, I cannot, I fear, last for very long. You are, I admit, a true friend to me, but what can you do for my unfortunate destiny!"
Upon reaching this point in her reflections, she could not control her tears, and they rolled freely down her cheeks. So much so, that when about to enter and meet her cousins, she experienced such utter lack of zest, that, while drying her tears she turned round, and wended her steps back in the direction of her apartments.
Pao-yue, meanwhile, had hurriedly got into his new costume. Upon coming out of doors, he caught sight of Lin Tai-yue, walking quietly ahead of him engaged, to all appearances, in wiping tears from her eyes. With rapid stride, he overtook her.
"Cousin Lin," he smiled, "where are you off to? How is it that you're crying again? Who has once more hurt your feelings?"
Lin Tai-yue turned her head round to look; and seeing that it was Pao-yue, she at once forced a smile. "Why should I be crying," she replied, "when there is no reason to do so?"
"Look here!" observed Pao-yue smilingly. "The tears in your eyes are not dry yet and do you still tell me a fib?"
Saying this, he could not check an impulse to raise his arm and wipe her eyes, but Lin Tai-yue speedily withdrew several steps backwards. "Are you again bent," she said, "upon compassing your own death! Then why do you knock your hands and kick your feet about in this wise?"
"While intent upon speaking, I forgot," smiled Pao-yue, "all about propriety and gesticulated, yet quite inadvertently. But what care I whether I die or live!"
"To die would, after all" added Lin Tai-yue, "be for you of no matter; but you'll leave behind some gold or other, and a unicorn too or other; and what would they do?"
This insinuation was enough to plunge Pao-yue into a fresh fit of exasperation. Hastening up to her: "Do you still give vent to such language?" he asked. "Why, it's really tantamount to invoking imprecations on me! What, are you yet angry with me!"
This question recalled to Lin Tai-yue's mind the incidents of a few days back, and a pang of remorse immediately gnawed her heart for having been again so indiscreet in her speech. "Now don't you distress your mind!" she observed hastily, smiling. "I verily said what I shouldn't! Yet what is there in this to make your veins protrude, and to so provoke you as to bedew your whole face with perspiration?"
While reasoning with him, she felt unable to repress herself, and, approaching him, she extended her hand, and wiped the perspiration from his face.
Pao-yue gazed intently at her for a long time. "Do set your mind at ease!" he at length observed.
At this remark, Lin Tai-yue felt quite nervous. "What's there to make my mind uneasy?" she asked after a protracted interval. "I can't make out what you're driving at; tell me what's this about making me easy or uneasy?"
Pao-yue heaved a sigh. "Don't you truly fathom the depth of my words?" he inquired. "Why, do you mean to say that I've throughout made such poor use of my love for you as not to be able to even divine your feelings? Well, if so, it's no wonder that you daily lose your temper on my account!"
"I actually don't understand what you mean by easy or uneasy," Lin Tai-yue replied.
"My dear girl," urged Pao-yue, nodding and sighing. "Don't be making a fool of me! For if you can't make out these words, not only have I ever uselessly lavished affection upon you, but the regard, with which you have always treated me, has likewise been entirely of no avail! And it's mostly because you won't set your mind at ease that your whole frame is riddled with disease. Had you taken things easier a bit, this ailment of yours too wouldn't have grown worse from day to day!"
These words made Lin Tai-yue feel as if she had been blasted by thunder, or struck by lightning. But after carefully weighing them within herself, they seemed to her far more fervent than any that might have emanated from the depths of her own heart, and thousands of sentiments, in fact, thronged together in her mind; but though she had every wish to frame them into language, she found it a hard task to pronounce so much as half a word. All she therefore did was to gaze at him with vacant stare.
Pao-yue fostered innumerable thoughts within himself, but unable in a moment to resolve from which particular one to begin, he too absently looked at Tai-yue. Thus it was that the two cousins remained for a long time under the spell of a deep reverie.
An ejaculation of "Hai!" was the only sound that issued from Lin Tai-yue's lips; and while tears streamed suddenly from her eyes, she turned herself round and started on her way homeward.
Pao-yue jumped forward, with alacrity, and dragged her back. "My dear cousin," he pleaded, "do stop a bit! Let me tell you just one thing; after that, you may go."
"What can you have to tell me?" exclaimed Lin Tai-yue, who while wiping her tears, extricated her hand from his grasp. "I know." she cried, "all you have to say."
As she spoke, she went away, without even turning her head to cast a glance behind her.
As Pao-yue gazed at her receding figure, he fell into abstraction.
He had, in fact, quitted his apartments a few moments back in such precipitate hurry that he had omitted to take a fan with him: and Hsi Jen, fearing lest he might suffer from the heat, promptly seized one and ran to find him and give it to him. But upon casually raising her head, she espied Lin Tai-yue standing with him. After a time, Tai-yue walked away; and as he still remained where he was without budging, she approached him.
"You left," she said, "without even taking a fan with you. Happily I noticed it, and so hurried to catch you up and bring it to you."
But Pao-yue was so lost in thought that as soon as he caught Hsi Jen's voice, he made a dash and clasped her in his embrace, without so much as trying to make sure who she was.
"My dear cousin," he cried, "I couldn't hitherto muster enough courage to disclose the secrets of my heart; but on this occasion I shall make bold and give utterance to them. For you I'm quite ready to even pay the penalty of death. I have too for your sake brought ailments upon my whole frame. It's in here! But I haven't ventured to breathe it to any one. My only alternative has been to bear it patiently, in the hope that when you got all right, I might then perchance also recover. But whether I sleep, or whether I dream, I never, never forget you."
These declarations quite dumfoundered Hsi Jen. She gave way to incessant apprehensions. All she could do was to shout out: "Oh spirits, oh heaven, oh Buddha, he's compassing my death!" Then pushing him away from her, "what is it you're saying?" she asked. "May it be that you are possessed by some evil spirit! Don't you quick get yourself off?"
This brought Pao-yue to his senses at once. He then became aware that it was Hsi Jen, and that she had come to bring him a fan. Pao-yue was overpowered with shame; his whole face was suffused with scarlet; and, snatching the fan out of her hands, he bolted away with rapid stride.
When Hsi Jen meanwhile saw Pao-yue effect his escape, "Lin Tai-yue," she pondered, "must surely be at the bottom of all he said just now. But from what one can see, it will be difficult, in the future, to obviate the occurrence of some unpleasant mishap. It's sufficient to fill one with fear and trembling!"
At this point in her cogitations, she involuntarily melted into tears, so agitated was she; while she secretly exercised her mind how best to act so as to prevent this dreadful calamity.
But while she was lost in this maze of surmises and doubts, Pao-ch'ai unexpectedly appeared from the off side. "What!" she smilingly exclaimed, "are you dreaming away in a hot broiling sun like this?"
Hsi Jen, at this question, hastily returned her smiles. "Those two birds," she answered, "were having a fight, and such fun was it that I stopped to watch them."
"Where is cousin Pao off to now in such a hurry, got up in that fine attire?" asked Pao-ch'ai, "I just caught sight of him, as he went by. I meant to have called out and stopped him, but as he, of late, talks greater rubbish than ever, I didn't challenge him, but let him go past."
"Our master," rejoined Hsi Jen, "sent for him to go out."
"Ai-yah!" hastily exclaimed Pao-ch'ai, as soon as this remark reached her ears. "What does he want him for, on a scalding day like this? Might he not have thought of something and got so angry about it as to send for him to give him a lecture!"
"If it isn't this," added Hsi Jen laughing, "some visitor must, I presume, have come and he wishes him to meet him."
"With weather like this," smiled Pao-ch'ai, "even visitors afford no amusement! Why don't they, while this fiery temperature lasts, stay at home, where it's much cooler, instead of gadding about all over the place?"
"Could you tell them so?" smiled Hsi Jen.
"What was that girl Hsiang-yuen doing in your quarters?" Pao-ch'ai then asked.
"She only came to chat with us on irrelevant matters." Hsi Jen replied smiling. "But did you see the pair of shoes I was pasting the other day? Well, I meant to ask her to-morrow to finish them for me."
Pao-chai, at these words, turned her head round, first on this side, and then on the other. Seeing that there was no one coming or going: "How is it," she smiled, "that you, who have so much gumption, don't ever show any respect for people's feelings? I've been of late keeping an eye on Miss Yuen's manner, and, from what I can glean from the various rumours afloat, she can't be, in the slightest degree, her own mistress at home! In that family of theirs, so little can they stand the burden of any heavy expenses that they don't employ any needlework-people, and ordinary everyday things are mostly attended to by their ladies themselves. (If not), why is it that every time she has come to us on a visit, and she and I have had a chat, she at once broached the subject of their being in great difficulties at home, the moment she perceived that there was no one present? Yet, whenever I went on to ask her a few questions about their usual way of living, her very eyes grew red, while she made some indistinct reply; but as for speaking out, she wouldn't. But when I consider the circumstances in which she is placed, for she has certainly had the misfortune of being left, from her very infancy, without father and mother, the very sight of her is too much for me, and my heart begins to bleed within me."
"Quite so! Quite so!" observed Hsi Jen, clapping her hands, after listening to her throughout. "It isn't strange then if she let me have the ten butterfly knots I asked her to tie for me only after ever so many days, and if she said that they were coarsely done, but that I should make the best of them and use them elsewhere, and that if I wanted any nice ones, I should wait until by and bye when she came to stay here, when she would work some neatly for me. What you've told me now reminds me that, as she had found it difficult to find an excuse when we appealed to her, she must have had to slave away, who knows how much, till the third watch in the middle of the night. What a stupid thing I was! Had I known this sooner, I would never have told her a word about it."
"Last time;" continued Pao-ch'ai, "she told me that when she was at home she had ample to do, that she kept busy as late as the third watch, and that, if she did the slightest stitch of work for any other people, the various ladies, belonging to her family, did not like it."
"But as it happens," explained Hsi Jen, "that mulish-minded and perverse-tempered young master of ours won't allow the least bit of needlework, no matter whether small or large, to be made by those persons employed to do sewing in the household. And as for me, I have no time to turn my attention to all these things."
"Why mind him?" laughed Pao-ch'ai. "Simply ask some one to do the work and finish."
"How could one bamboozle him?" resumed Hsi Jen. "Why, he'll promptly find out everything. Such a thing can't even be suggested. The only thing I can do is to quietly slave away, that's all."
"You shouldn't work so hard," smiled Pao-ch'ai. "What do you say to my doing a few things for you?"
"Are you in real earnest!" ventured Hsi Jen smiling. "Well, in that case, it is indeed a piece of good fortune for me! I'll come over myself in the evening."
But before she could conclude her reply, she of a sudden noticed an old matron come up to her with precipitate step. "Where does the report come from," she interposed, "that Miss Chin Ch'uan-erh has gone, for no rhyme or reason, and committed suicide by jumping into the well?"
This bit of news startled Hsi Jen. "Which Chin Ch'uan-erh is it," she speedily inquired.
"Where are two Chin Ch'uan-erhs to be found!" rejoined the old matron. "It's the one in our Mistress,' Madame Wang's, apartments, who was the other day sent away for something or other, I don't know what. On her return home, she raised her groans to the skies and shed profuse tears, but none of them worried their minds about her, until, who'd have thought it, they could see nothing of her. A servant, however, went just now to draw water and he says that 'while he was getting it from the well in the south-east corner, he caught sight of a dead body, that he hurriedly called men to his help, and that when they fished it out, they unexpectedly found that it was she, but that though they bustled about trying to bring her round, everything proved of no avail'"
"This is odd!" Pao-ch'ai exclaimed.
The moment Hsi Jen heard the tidings, she shook her head and moaned. At the remembrance of the friendship, which had ever existed between them, tears suddenly trickled down her cheeks. And as for Pao-ch'ai, she listened to the account of the accident and then hastened to Madame Wang's quarters to try and afford her consolation.
Hsi Jen, during this interval, returned to her room. But we will leave her without further notice, and explain that when Pao-ch'ai reached the interior of Madame Wang's home, she found everything plunged in perfect stillness. Madame Wang was seated all alone in the inner chamber indulging her sorrow. But such difficulties did Pao-ch'ai experience to allude to the occurrence, that her only alternative was to take a seat next to her.
"Where do you come from?" asked Madame Wang.
"I come from inside the garden," answered Pao-ch'ai.
"As you come from the garden," Madame Wang inquired, "did you see anything of your cousin Pao-yue?"
"I saw him just now," Pao-ch'ai replied, "go out, dressed up in his fineries. But where he is gone to, I don't know."
"Have you perchance heard of any strange occurrence?" asked Madame Wang, while she nodded her head and sighed. "Why, Chin Ch'uan Erh jumped into the well and committed suicide."
"How is it that she jumped into the well when there was nothing to make her do so?" Pao-ch'ai inquired. "This is indeed a remarkable thing!"
"The fact is," proceeded Madame Wang, "that she spoilt something the other day, and in a sudden fit of temper, I gave her a slap and sent her away, simply meaning to be angry with her for a few days and then bring her in again. But, who could have ever imagined that she had such a resentful temperament as to go and drown herself in a well! And is not this all my fault?"
"It's because you are such a kind-hearted person, aunt," smiled Pao-ch'ai, "that such ideas cross your mind! But she didn't jump into the well when she was in a tantrum; so what must have made her do so was that she had to go and live in the lower quarters. Or, she might have been standing in front of the well, and her foot slipped, and she fell into it. While in the upper rooms, she used to be kept under restraint, so when this time she found herself outside, she must, of course, have felt the wish to go strolling all over the place in search of fun. How could she have ever had such a fiery disposition? But even admitting that she had such a temper, she was, after all, a stupid girl to do as she did; and she doesn't deserve any pity."
"In spite of what you say," sighed Madame Wang, shaking her head to and fro, "I really feel unhappy at heart."
"You shouldn't, aunt, distress your mind about it!" Pao-ch'ai smiled. "Yet, if you feel very much exercised, just give her a few more taels than you would otherwise have done, and let her be buried. You'll thus carry out to the full the feelings of a mistress towards her servant."
"I just now gave them fifty taels for her," pursued Madame Wang. "I also meant to let them have some of your cousin's new clothes to enshroud her in. But, who'd have thought it, none of the girls had, strange coincidence, any newly-made articles of clothing; and there were only that couple of birthday suits of your cousin Lin's. But as your cousin Lin has ever been such a sensitive child and has always too suffered and ailed, I thought it would be unpropitious for her, if her clothes were also now handed to people to wrap their dead in, after she had been told that they were given her for her birthday. So I ordered a tailor to get a suit for her as soon as possible. Had it been any other servant-girl, I could have given her a few taels and have finished. But Chin Ch'uan-erh was, albeit a servant-maid, nearly as dear to me as if she had been a daughter of mine."
Saying this, tears unwittingly ran down from her eyes.
"Aunt!" vehemently exclaimed Pao-ch'ai. "What earthly use is it of hurrying a tailor just now to prepare clothes for her? I have a couple of suits I made the other day and won't it save trouble were I to go and bring them for her? Besides, when she was alive, she used to wear my old clothes. And what's more our figures are much alike."
"What you say is all very well," rejoined Madame Wang; "but can it be that it isn't distasteful to you?"
"Compose your mind," urged Pao-ch'ai with a smile. "I have never paid any heed to such things."
As she spoke, she rose to her feet and walked away.
Madame Wang then promptly called two servants. "Go and accompany Miss Pao!" she said.
In a brief space of time, Pao-ch'ai came back with the clothes, and discovered Pao-yue seated next to Madame Wang, all melted in tears. Madame Wang was reasoning with him. At the sight of Pao-ch'ai, she, at once, desisted. When Pao-ch'ai saw them go on in this way, and came to weigh their conversation and to scan the expression on their countenances, she immediately got a pretty correct insight into their feelings. But presently she handed over the clothes, and Madame Wang sent for Chin Ch'uan-erh's mother, to take them away.
But, reader, you will have to peruse the next chapter for further details.
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【选集】紅樓一春夢 |
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