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Great Dinner<盛宴>
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-28 06:19:28    Post subject: Great Dinner<盛宴> Reply with quote

<Great Dinner>


Deep autumn to the poets,
the season seems defoliated
with its colours damaged
to personify their sobs and sorrow

Walking along the path, I am
listening to the wind
in the rain.

Well, my poet
if your desire is as thin
as a piece of paper
do you wish to write about that
or the pallor of nobleness
or the extensions of imagined illness?

I have
cake to ease my hunger
as I type these words for you
a great dinner
is the bright moon
with twinkling stars

<盛宴>

深秋, 好象是专门留给诗人的
一些落叶, 一些残红
恰到好处的
掩盖着你的悲凉
和低泣
我漫步街头
沐雨听风

其实诗人
如果真的当你所有的
企求都薄成了
一张纸
那些无病呻吟
那些贵族的苍白
还顾及点墨吗?

我抓起最后一只烧饼
填充辘辘饥肠
然后悠闲的在键盘上敲
最丰盛的晚宴
莫过
皓洁的月
洒满晶莹的星星
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-05 18:42:02    Post subject: Re: Great Dinner<盛宴> Reply with quote

just made some editing
may not be appropriate:

Deep autumn to poets,
the season seems just some defoliations
with colours damaged
to hide their sob and upset

Walking on the street, I am
listening to the wind
under the rain

Well, my poet
if your desire is as thin as a piece of paper
do you still want to write about that?
such as pallor of nobleness
Or just make a fuss on an imaginary illness

I hold the last cake to fill my hunger
then, type these words using my keyboard:
a great dinner
is the bright moon
with crystalloid stars
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写诗是为了写更好的诗
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-05 20:04:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you for your edit. i will think it earnesstly
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-11-11 16:44:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

此诗歌贴到西人网站, 他们又改了点. 感觉读起来更顺些, 只是和中文意思远了点, 先存这儿吧, 以后再试.
Deep autumn to the poets,
the season seems defoliation
with its colours damaged
to personify their sobs and upset.

Walking on the street, I am
listening to wind
past rain.

Well, my poet
if your desire is thin
as a piece of paper
do you wish to write of that
or the nobleness of pallor
or extensions of imagined illness?

I have
cake to ease my hunger
as I type these words for you
a great dinner

is the moon
set with diademic stars
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2006-12-05 13:03:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢 和平岛的 :))


。。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-05 17:16:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

KOKHO, ARE YOU SUER PEACE'S IS BETTER THAN OTHER(I MEAN THAT IS NOT MY)? Very Happy
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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PostPosted: 2006-12-06 11:00:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am listening to wind past rain.

do you wish to write of that
or the nobleness of pallor
or extensions of imagined illness?

这几句很可能有问题 。。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-06 18:25:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:
I am listening to wind past rain.

do you wish to write of that
or the nobleness of pallor
or extensions of imagined illness?

这几句很可能有问题 。。


THANKS, I WILL THINK IT CONSCIENTIOUSLY
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 19:30:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

KOK, 我请教了我的英文老师, 正好她也喜欢诗歌, 还出了诗集. 她帮着改了点. 你说的没错, 老师说PEACE改的那首IS PERFECT. Very Happy ANYWAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Deep autumn to the poets,
the season seems defoliated
with its colours damaged
to personify their sobs and sorrow

Walking on the street, I am
listening to the wind
in the rain.

Well, my poet
if your desire is as thin
as a piece of paper
do you wish to write about that
or the pallor of nobleness
or the extensions of imagined illness?

I have
cake to ease my hunger
as I type these words for you
a great dinner
is the bright moon
with diademic twinkling stars
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 20:20:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Walking on the street


女人写诗,不要佣这样的句子 ;))

Strolling down the street

去看看 www.dictionary.com

每个字查查意思才用。英文字有的是中性的,有的带着情绪,或褒贬 :))

。。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 20:33:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:
Quote:
Walking on the street


女人写诗,不要佣这样的句子 ;))

Strolling down the street

去看看 www.dictionary.com

每个字查查意思才用。英文字有的是中性的,有的带着情绪,或褒贬 :))

。。


WHAT DO YOUR MEAN? WHICH ONE I CAN'T WRITE IT? Walking on the street OR Strolling down the street? BUT I DIDN'T WRITE "Strolling down the street" IN THE POME. SENT MAIL TO ME A.S.A.P. PLEASE.
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 20:59:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

月光 wrote:
kokho wrote:
Quote:
Walking on the street


女人写诗,不要佣这样的句子 ;))

《》《》《》《》《》

Strolling down the street

去看看 www.dictionary.com

每个字查查意思才用。英文字有的是中性的,有的带着情绪,或褒贬 :))

。。


WHAT DO YOUR MEAN? WHICH ONE I CAN'T WRITE IT? Walking on the street OR Strolling down the street? BUT I DIDN'T WRITE "Strolling down the street" IN THE POME. SENT MAIL TO ME A.S.A.P. PLEASE.


在英文里面,WOMAN WHO WALK THE STREET
有特别的意思  Rolling Eyes Embarassed
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 15:10:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

I CHANGED A LITTLE. Very Happy

Deep autumn to the poets,
the season seems defoliated
with its colours damaged
to personify their sobs and sorrow

Walking along the path, I am
listening to the wind
in the rain.

Well, my poet
if your desire is as thin
as a piece of paper
do you wish to write about that
or the pallor of nobleness
or the extensions of imagined illness?

I have
cake to ease my hunger
as I type these words for you
a great dinner
is the bright moon
with twinkling stars
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奇武
童生


Joined: 17 May 2009
Posts: 1
Location: D.C.
奇武Collection
PostPosted: 2009-05-17 11:01:23    Post subject: Needs some work Reply with quote

Late into autumn,
With fading shades,
And floating leaves.
A heavenly time,
For a poem.

。。。 。。。

秋来安湖

是秋天不凉,
是春草不绿,
信步安湖边,
喜见群鱼嬉水欢,

歌之,唱之,
舞之, 蹈之。

逆流而上不是难,
北极冬至不为愁。

天国奖与欢喜日,
江河湖海任自游,
何问是春还是秋。
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