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蓝色小企鹅 (汉/英)
非马
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-25 16:08:29    Post subject: 蓝色小企鹅 (汉/英) Reply with quote

蓝色小企鹅
——澳洲游记

被禁止闪光的眼睛
根本无法分辨
它们是从无边的大海
或黑夜的后台
走出来的

不喧哗
不争先恐后
这些听话的幼儿园孩子们
列队鱼贯上台
白胸的戏装
在昏暗的灯光下
隐约闪亮

无需任何台词
或表情动作
他们用蹒跚的脚步
一下下
踩湿了
台下凝注的眼睛


BLUE PENGUIN REVELRY
-- watching little blue penguins parade on a beach in Australia


in complete silence
they march in a file onto the stage
like well-rehearsed kindergarteners
their white-breasted costumes
glitter joyously
under the dim light

since no flash is allowed
it is hard to tell
from which backstage they emerge --
the boundless ocean
or the dark night

in wobbling steps
without any gesture
or dialogue
they shake water off their bodies
and fill the eyes
of proud parents in the audience
with tears


20世纪20年代便落户于澳洲的菲利普岛(Phillip Island)上的企鹅,是世界上17种企鹅当中体积最小的,身高只有33公分,体重约1公斤,羽毛灰蓝色,被人们称为“小蓝企鹅” (Little Blue Penguin)或“神仙企鹅” (Fairy Penguin)。

在菲利普岛自然公园沙滩上看这些神秘的小蓝企鹅天黑时从海上饱食回岸的景观,是一个令人难忘的经验。为了避免企鹅受到相机闪光灯的伤害,游客一旦踏出游客中心,一律禁止使用相机与摄录机。面对可爱的小企鹅成群结队回巢的奇景,观众只能把这一幕烙印在记忆里。

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戴玨
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Joined: 03 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-06-26 05:53:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

英文版意思更清楚,但最後那節則是中文版更傳神。
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非马
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
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Location: 芝加哥
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PostPosted: 2008-06-26 06:53:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢戴玨的阅评。不知什么原因,这首双语诗的汉英版距离比较大,不象我的其它双语诗 ,能有较融洽的共存。
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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
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PostPosted: 2008-06-27 14:35:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

动态描述舞台剧,同情微讽诗语里。
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 20:50:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

双语读来都圆润无刺,流畅无滞。
这其实真地很难做到。

内容上也生动活脱,无说教感。
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非马
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PostPosted: 2008-06-28 05:07:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

问道模与NOBODY好!谢谢.
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Lake
举人


Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-29 00:42:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

拟人手法使用地很传神,人物合一。以下的表达我几乎分辨不出到底是小孩子还是小企鹅了。

Quote:
它们是从无边的大海

他们用蹒跚的脚步

the eyes
of proud parents in the audience
with tears


学习了。
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非马
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
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Location: 芝加哥
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PostPosted: 2008-06-29 05:53:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢LAKE指出,我根本没注意到我用了“它们”又用了“他们”。我原意是都用“他们”。把这些可爱的小家伙当成“他们”是很自然的事。
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爱月
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PostPosted: 2008-07-06 20:54:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

很佩服,我不会翻译。但是能感受一些这里的艺术氛围,用空请非马老师帮着翻译俺的一些诗歌不知道可以不?
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非马
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
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PostPosted: 2008-07-07 10:25:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

爱月 wrote:
很佩服,我不会翻译。但是能感受一些这里的艺术氛围,用空请非马老师帮着翻译俺的一些诗歌不知道可以不?

谢谢爱月的阅读与信任。翻译,特别是诗歌翻译,是一门专门的学问,也相当花时间,所以我除了翻译自己的东西外,很少翻译别人的作品。实在抱歉。
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