The Moon on a Foreign Land

[白水]

(定稿)
The Moon on a Foreign Land

The moonlight,
pours down, like streams
it is time
for our date,


you are still
on a foreign land


are you rowing
back to me
by the milky way?
I shall be listening
to your paddling


our dock is old.
but our wine is warm.
the lantern is bright,
by the window.
remember?
once upon a night?
I picked up a moon,
from our glass, Packed it silently,
in your bag.




(三稿)
The Moon at Another Country

Moonlight pours down, like water
it is time for reunion
you are in another country
when will you be back
by boat
I listen to its paddling
from the milky way

Probably, the dock is old
but two cups of wine and the light
is still beside the window

Do you remember that night,
I took the moon from a cup
and put it silently into your baggage




<月明它乡>

月光泼下来, 象水
那是团圆的日子近了
你, 在它乡
何日摇橹归来?
我侧耳
银河的桨声......

杨柳岸的船坞或许旧了
可那两杯温酒, 一盏渔火
依然临窗

是否记得那晚?
我从杯中捞起一颗月亮
默默地
塞进你的行囊

[和平岛]

well done


trying to do some editing:

...
when will you be back
by boat
I listen to its paddling
from the milky way

Probably, the dock is old
but two cups of tea and the light
is still beside the window

Do you remember that night,
I took the moon from a cup
and silently put it
into your baggage
_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗

[白水]

Thanks. The poem is more beautiful with your editing. I am going to change it, but I want to keep “the cup”, because the “cup” is a special one.

The Moon at Another Country

Moonlight pours down, like water
it is time for reunion
you are in another country
when will you be back
by boat
I listen to its paddling
from the milky way

Probably, the dock is old
but two cups of wine and the light
is still beside the window

Do you remember that night,
I took the moon from the cup
and put it silently into your baggage

[和平岛]

two cups of tea

the cup: which of the two

_________________
写诗是为了写更好的诗

[白水]

[quote="和平岛"]two cups of tea

the cup: which of the two
[/quote]

i believe that the reader knows witch one

[非马]

月光好！中英都不错。但把温酒译成冷茶(把茶摆在窗边那么久肯定变冷了)好像同整首诗的气氛不太融洽。
_________________
欢迎访问<非马艺术世界>
http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm

[白水]

[小枪]

是否记得那晚?
我从杯中捞起一颗月亮
默默地
塞进你的行囊

非常喜欢这一段。
_________________
http://www.fyrclub.com
翻译人俱乐部论坛欢迎您。

[白水]

[kokho]

Moon elsewhere　　　　　　　　　　　　<月明它乡>

Moonlight splashes ...　　　　　　　　　月光泼下来, 象水
reunion day is around the corner　　　　那是团圆的日子近了
Elsewhere, you are　　　　　　　　　　　你, 在它乡
when will you get the scull moving　　　何日摇橹归来?
I listened ...　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　我侧耳
striving oars are all over milky way　　　　银河的桨声......

The willow draped dock may be aged　杨柳岸的船坞或许旧了
While wine gyrates in a pair of cups　　可那两杯温酒, 一盏渔火
fishery light trickling thru the blinds　　　依然临窗

Do you remember that night,　　　　　是否记得那晚?
I savour the moon from a cup　　　　　我从杯中捞起了月亮
and slipped it wordlessly　　　　　　　　默默地
into your baggage　　　　　　　　　　　塞进你的行囊

..
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[kokho]

英文诗歌不单是　翻译汉文原词罢了。。。

还必需考虑　英文文化里面的形象和表达习惯　

。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[白水]

[白水]

(定稿)
The Moon on a Foreign Land

The moonlight,
pours down, like streams
it is time
for our date,


you are still
on a foreign land


are you rowing
back to me
by the milky way?
I shall be listening
to your paddling


our dock is old.
but our wine is warm.
the lantern is bright,
by the window.
remember?
once upon a night?
I picked up a moon,
from our glass, Packed it silently,
in your bag.

[连南河]

一个真实的Moonlight与白水

The moonlight,
pours down, like streams
it is time
for our date
_________________
一路雨丝一路风

[白水]

[William Zhou周道模]

学习！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[飘月]

Very beautiful poem~~~
是否记得那晚?
我从杯中捞起一颗月亮
默默地
塞进你的行囊
Still remember that night
I scooped a moon from the cup
And crammed silently
Into your bag
_________________
http://www.calm-sea.com/bbs

[白水]

[白水]

月明它乡

月光泼下来, 象水
那是团圆的日子近了
你, 在它乡
何日摇橹归来?
我侧耳
银河的桨声......

杨柳岸的船坞或许旧了
可那两杯温酒, 一盏渔火
依然临窗

是否记得那晚?
我从杯中捞起一颗月亮
默默地
塞进你的行囊





Alien land moon

Translated by Zhang Liguo

Moonlight dumping like water

Hinting that our dating is drawing

Near at an alien land,

You will be back when

Attentively I turn my ear

To your paddling from so far as the milky way



The dock by the waterfront turned old

However the two cups of warm wine as well as

the fishing light

Still far and near by the window







Remember the departure night

I lifted the round moon from my glasses

Silently

packed into your travelling bag

[sfiawong]