海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-02-29 10:37:40 Post subject: 应制四首 踏莎行 五律(十首) 五绝 七绝(六首) 七律(二首) |
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之一:月缠藤蔓中
夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
游丝倚窗侧,不语甚心情。
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2012-02-29 10:54:33 Post subject: |
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静夜清景! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-01 00:07:18 Post subject: |
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夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
游丝倚窗侧,不语甚心情。
不语啥心情?留下想象空间。 |
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黄洋界 探花
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-01 19:04:50 Post subject: |
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海蛎子遣词造句很值得玩味:
“月缠藤蔓中”,“缠”字与“藤蔓”切合。月色能缠否?这里
诗人想实际想说“藤蔓纠结于月色之中”.此解当否?
詩中的“拂”字,“裁”字等动词用得很传神。“倚”字拟人化,
十分形象。 _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 02:11:19 Post subject: |
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谢谢白云闲人老师  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 02:12:35 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
... |
谢谢笑聊老师  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 02:20:30 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
海蛎子遣词造句很值得玩味:
“月缠藤蔓中”,“缠”字与“藤蔓”切合。月色能缠否?这里
诗人想实际想说“藤蔓纠结于月色之中”.此解当否?
詩中的“拂”字,“裁”字等动词用得很传神。“倚”字拟人化,
十分形象。 |
谢谢黄老师
我觉得“月缠藤蔓中”应该理解为“明月纠葛于藤蔓之中”
按中国阴阳文化,月属阴,象女人  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 02:27:38 Post subject: |
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之二:日悬远山丛
敛雾山交织,流云日薄侵。
撩羞歇楼上,无故不沉吟。
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白云闲人 探花
Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 3466
白云闲人Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 14:35:44 Post subject: |
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意景交织! _________________ 诗中岁月,
笛里关山. |
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-04 17:17:22 Post subject: |
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同样,与第一首的“月缠藤蔓中”一样,作者借助意象表达了某种情感。 |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-06 12:38:33 Post subject: |
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谢谢白云闲人老师  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-06 12:39:35 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
同样,与第一首的“月缠藤蔓中”一样,作者借助意象表达了某种情感。 |
谢谢笑聊老师  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-06 12:42:47 Post subject: |
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之三:风自雪原来
牵风成野客,惊雪曳寒衣。
踉跄穷追久,淹留一兔肥。
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-07 11:12:14 Post subject: |
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之四:鹤立庭院松
在庭香入品,向院爽盈怀。
松鹤浮墙出,可知何道哉。
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笑聊 探花
Joined: 05 Jan 2010 Posts: 3448 Location: 中国江苏无锡 笑聊Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-08 18:56:22 Post subject: |
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这一组诗读来清新,意象丰富。学习了。 |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-09 02:41:23 Post subject: |
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笑聊 wrote: |
这一组诗读来清新,意象丰富。学习了。 |
谢谢笑聊老师,互相学习
其实,“月缠藤蔓中,日悬远山丛。风自雪原来,鹤立庭院松”四句,是一个俺家一个小妹妹在网上看到的一个个性签名,她觉得这东一句西一句的挺滑稽,就让我们相应地写一首五绝,以上就是我写的  |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-09 02:43:48 Post subject: |
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细雪绵绵,寒风楚楚,提肩缩颈含胸脯。
影长影短路灯摇,腹中频奏行军鼓。
酱焖鱿鱼,家常豆腐,夫妻肺片汆猪肚。
佐杯小酒漫吟哦:充饥还得烧红薯。
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-10 03:05:01 Post subject: |
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登高临委婉,踏险化舒迟。
旷野徘徊日,暖寒交替时。
身从出笼鸟,心似打油诗。
听雉鸣何奈,驰情畅所思。
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黄洋界 探花
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007 Posts: 3301 Location: 多伦多,加拿大 黄洋界Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-10 09:18:36 Post subject: |
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活画出一种心境;像一只飞出鸟笼登高踏险无拘无束
驰情畅思的小鸟。
此非海蛎子之自我写照欤? _________________ ++++++++++++++
喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰 |
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海蛎子 秀才
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Joined: 01 Oct 2011 Posts: 199 Location: 臭豆腐作坊 海蛎子Collection |
Posted: 2012-03-11 13:31:10 Post subject: |
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黄洋界 wrote: |
活画出一种心境;像一只飞出鸟笼登高踏险无拘无束
驰情畅思的小鸟。
此非海蛎子之自我写照欤? |
黄老师说得对  |
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