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应制四首 踏莎行 五律(十首) 五绝 七绝(六首) 七律(二首)1[2][3]  Next
海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-02-29 10:37:40    Post subject: 应制四首 踏莎行 五律(十首) 五绝 七绝(六首) 七律(二首) Reply with quote

之一:月缠藤蔓中

夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
游丝倚窗侧,不语甚心情。

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白云闲人
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 2012-02-29 10:54:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

静夜清景!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2012-03-01 00:07:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
游丝倚窗侧,不语甚心情。

不语啥心情?留下想象空间。
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黄洋界
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PostPosted: 2012-03-01 19:04:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

海蛎子遣词造句很值得玩味:
“月缠藤蔓中”,“缠”字与“藤蔓”切合。月色能缠否?这里
诗人想实际想说“藤蔓纠结于月色之中”.此解当否?
詩中的“拂”字,“裁”字等动词用得很传神。“倚”字拟人化,
十分形象。
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 02:11:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
静夜清景!


谢谢白云闲人老师 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 02:12:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
夜拂溪流静,藤裁月色明。
...


谢谢笑聊老师 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 02:20:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界 wrote:
海蛎子遣词造句很值得玩味:
“月缠藤蔓中”,“缠”字与“藤蔓”切合。月色能缠否?这里
诗人想实际想说“藤蔓纠结于月色之中”.此解当否?
詩中的“拂”字,“裁”字等动词用得很传神。“倚”字拟人化,
十分形象。



谢谢黄老师 Laughing
我觉得“月缠藤蔓中”应该理解为“明月纠葛于藤蔓之中”Laughing
按中国阴阳文化,月属阴,象女人 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 02:27:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

之二:日悬远山丛

敛雾山交织,流云日薄侵。
撩羞歇楼上,无故不沉吟。

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白云闲人
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 14:35:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

意景交织!
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诗中岁月,
笛里关山.
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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2012-03-04 17:17:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

同样,与第一首的“月缠藤蔓中”一样,作者借助意象表达了某种情感。
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-06 12:38:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

白云闲人 wrote:
意景交织!


谢谢白云闲人老师 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-06 12:39:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
同样,与第一首的“月缠藤蔓中”一样,作者借助意象表达了某种情感。


谢谢笑聊老师 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-06 12:42:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

之三:风自雪原来

牵风成野客,惊雪曳寒衣。
踉跄穷追久,淹留一兔肥。

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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-07 11:12:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

之四:鹤立庭院松

在庭香入品,向院爽盈怀。
松鹤浮墙出,可知何道哉。

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笑聊
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PostPosted: 2012-03-08 18:56:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

这一组诗读来清新,意象丰富。学习了。
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-09 02:41:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

笑聊 wrote:
这一组诗读来清新,意象丰富。学习了。


谢谢笑聊老师,互相学习 Laughing

其实,“月缠藤蔓中,日悬远山丛。风自雪原来,鹤立庭院松”四句,是一个俺家一个小妹妹在网上看到的一个个性签名,她觉得这东一句西一句的挺滑稽,就让我们相应地写一首五绝,以上就是我写的 Laughing
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-09 02:43:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

细雪绵绵,寒风楚楚,提肩缩颈含胸脯。
影长影短路灯摇,腹中频奏行军鼓。

酱焖鱿鱼,家常豆腐,夫妻肺片汆猪肚。
佐杯小酒漫吟哦:充饥还得烧红薯。

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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-10 03:05:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

登高临委婉,踏险化舒迟。
旷野徘徊日,暖寒交替时。
身从出笼鸟,心似打油诗。
听雉鸣何奈,驰情畅所思。

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黄洋界
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PostPosted: 2012-03-10 09:18:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

活画出一种心境;像一只飞出鸟笼登高踏险无拘无束
驰情畅思的小鸟。
此非海蛎子之自我写照欤?
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海蛎子
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PostPosted: 2012-03-11 13:31:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

黄洋界 wrote:
活画出一种心境;像一只飞出鸟笼登高踏险无拘无束
驰情畅思的小鸟。
此非海蛎子之自我写照欤?


黄老师说得对 Laughing
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