William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
 Posted: 2010-03-18 19:04:39 Post subject: 【汉英微型诗】玉兰落瓣 |
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玉兰落瓣
一松手……几捧
月光…… 给大地
颁奖清香……
The Falling Magnolia Petals
lose hold of …… A few handfuls of
moonlight …… Awarding the earth
much fragrance ……
2010-3-17 上午 金雁湖畔
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
| Posted: 2010-03-18 20:00:03 Post subject: |
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| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
玉兰落瓣
玉兰落瓣
一松手……几捧
月光…… 给大地
颁奖清香……
The Falling Petals of Magnolia
Unclasp fingers …… Some handfuls of
moonlight …… Awarding the earth
much fragrance ……
... |
I'm feeling even thicker than normal today so you have to bear with me and ignore what I have got to say...
"The Falling Petals of Magnolia" - the falling magnolia petals
"Unclasp fingers" - letting go...
I don't even know what I'm saying... 
But I like 玉兰落瓣. Beautiful!
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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William Zhou周道模
探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-03-18 22:20:53 Post subject: |
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谢谢！标题可以改进。letting go 没有 unclasp fingers 形象生动！
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Lake
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| Posted: 2010-03-19 07:49:06 Post subject: |
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你觉得生动就好。其实题目也不用改，我的只是少了个词，其他人可能认为少了诗意呢。
clasp -（作为动词），意思是：
vb (tr)
1. to hold in a firm grasp
2. to grasp firmly with the hand
3. to fasten together with or as if with a clasp
花瓣被那么紧紧地抓在手中，不会被蹂躏了吗？
只是一点看法，不用当真。
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William Zhou周道模
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Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-03-19 18:05:30 Post subject: |
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| Lake wrote: |
你觉得生动就好。其实题目也不用改，我的只是少了个词，其他人可能认为少了诗意呢。
... |
谢谢！我再查查，找找，想想。
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William Zhou周道模
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Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-03-25 01:41:32 Post subject: |
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个人感觉 let go 范围很宽样，lose hold of 怎么样？
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Lake
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| Posted: 2010-03-26 08:03:45 Post subject: |
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| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
| 个人感觉 let go 范围很宽样，lose hold of 怎么样？ |
put it in the poem, then we'll see...
sometimes, it is hard to tell without the context.
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William Zhou周道模
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Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection |
| Posted: 2010-03-26 08:12:32 Post subject: |
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| Lake wrote: |
| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
| 个人感觉 let go 范围很宽样，lose hold of 怎么样？ |
put it in the poem, then we'll see...
... |
ok, I try it .
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SLIU
秀才
Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384
SLIUCollection |
| Posted: 2010-04-02 00:22:48 Post subject: |
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tend to agree with Lake...  let go 范围较宽，但是后面有 handful 。。 |
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