Maple Review :: View topic - 【汉英微型诗】彩虹

	Chinese Literature Society of North America \| Maple Review \| Immigrants in Canada \| Angel Studio \| The Driftwood Artist Society \| Ocean of Poetry \| Island of Music "HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
	FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Sign in Blogs Weblogs News Album



Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 西方文学　Western Literature

【汉英微型诗】彩虹

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-06 20:39:28 Post subject: 【汉英微型诗】彩虹

彩虹我挂下七色云梯…… 来接苦难的灵魂…… Rainbow I let down the colorful ladder to take the suffering souls 2009-8-4上午竹林 _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

SLIU
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384

SLIUCollection

Posted: 2010-02-07 01:06:53 Post subject:

丰富的想像力。。 I let down a colorful ladder for those who suffer (为了押韵）或者： for the suffering souls

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-07 08:13:10 Post subject:

sliu6 wrote:

丰富的想像力。。

I let down a colorful ladder
for the souls who suffer

thank you for encouraging me ! glad to read your translation.
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

非马
秀才

Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 08:06:22 Post subject:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用 for the suffering souls 题目与诗本身加个空行更醒目 _________________ 欢迎访问<非马艺术世界> http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm

Lake
举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection

Posted: 2010-02-08 09:18:31 Post subject:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...

I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.

Any thought on this?

Best
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

非马
秀才

Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 10:26:28 Post subject:

Lake wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...

Not only for the sake of simplicity, in my mind the "ing" also gives the sense of the presence and continuation of human suffering.
_________________
欢迎访问<非马艺术世界>
http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm

Lake
举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection

Posted: 2010-02-08 10:56:44 Post subject:

Good point. And immediacy. Thanks. _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

非马
秀才

Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 13:53:43 Post subject:

Lake wrote:

Good point. And immediacy. Thanks.

Yes, you are right.
_________________
欢迎访问<非马艺术世界>
http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 19:21:00 Post subject:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...

非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。

请问老师：当代英语诗基本不押韵了吗？
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 19:26:37 Post subject:

Lake wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...

thank Lake for discussion!
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

非马
秀才

Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 907
Location: 芝加哥
非马Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 21:19:15 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...

非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。
...

现代诗特别是自由诗(FREE VERSE)基本上不押韵,当然还是有人喜欢押韵,或写十四行诗.就如同在国内还是有人喜欢写旧体诗一样.
除了童诗、讽刺诗或歌词,我觉得还是不押韵的好.放开天足, 向前迈步吧!
春节快乐!
_________________
欢迎访问<非马艺术世界>
http://feima.yidian.org/bmz.htm

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-08 23:44:13 Post subject:

非马 wrote:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...

非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。
...

现代诗特别是自由诗(FREE VERSE)基本上不押韵,当然还是有人喜欢押韵,或写十四行诗.就如同在国内还是有人喜欢写旧体诗一样.
...

好！我今后再也不刻意去押韵了。谢谢老师！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

SLIU
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2010
Posts: 384

SLIUCollection

Posted: 2010-02-17 02:42:25 Post subject:

非马 wrote:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...

非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。
...

现代诗特别是自由诗(FREE VERSE)基本上不押韵,当然还是有人喜欢押韵,或写十四行诗.就如同在国内还是有人喜欢写旧体诗一样.
...

问好先生！

我的第一感觉自然是 .....for the suffering souls. 但考虑到是诗，就让它压了韵。如果没有韵，不就是分行写的精彩语句或段落吗？有时似乎是鱼和熊掌的关系。。

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-17 04:55:29 Post subject:

sliu6 wrote:

非马 wrote:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

非马 wrote:

虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...

非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。
...

现代诗特别是自由诗(FREE VERSE)基本上不押韵,当然还是有人喜欢押韵,或写十四行诗.就如同在国内还是有人喜欢写旧体诗一样.
...

问好先生！
...

问好先生！
诗歌观念、标准、价值取舍、写作爱好等，古今中外一直无法统一，也用不着统一。只有“萝卜白菜”喽。
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

冷巉
举人

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 1106
Location: 中国十堰
冷巉Collection

Posted: 2010-02-17 19:51:31 Post subject:

学习大家认真的态度。问好大家。 _________________ syr@shiyanren.com 冷巉湖北省十堰市茅箭区三堰邮政小区48号信箱 442000

冷巉
举人

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 1106
Location: 中国十堰
冷巉Collection

Posted: 2010-02-17 20:05:27 Post subject:

从大家的对话中我感觉到非马老师心中的大爱，让我感动。 _________________ syr@shiyanren.com 冷巉湖北省十堰市茅箭区三堰邮政小区48号信箱 442000

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-02-18 06:14:43 Post subject:

冷巉 wrote:

学习大家认真的态度。问好大家。

冷巉回来啦，春天来了不“冷”喽！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

王国栋
秀才

Joined: 09 Jul 2010
Posts: 295
Location: 陕西西安
王国栋Collection

Posted: 2010-07-12 06:09:59 Post subject:

诗歌与评论一一浏览，学习老师的严谨治学态度。 _________________ 文学是一棵树，我就是树上唱歌的小鸟。

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2010-10-30 05:46:00 Post subject:

王国栋 wrote:

诗歌与评论一一浏览，学习老师的严谨治学态度。

这里可以学习、交流和探讨，谢谢王君的鼓励！
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

Display posts from previous:

Emoticons





View more Emoticons

Page 1 of 1 View previous topic View next topic

Maple Review Home -> 西方文学　Western Literature

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME