Events: Oral: uncontrollable desire is like having an affair
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That I participate in the bar of the birthday party colleagues, overheard another private room came the sound of giggling like a little rainbow. I filed for divorce, small rainbow face and tears, hugged me. Cai Xiaogang constantly compromise and forgiveness, and more confirmed Fangshao Hong idea: I derailed not because I am bad, but because you are not good for me ...
I like a small rainbow, because she is very simple, I can not imagine that she actually would repeatedly give me a cuckold. Rainbow in the institutions to work less, more leisure. I do sales, often have to travel. I was busy, I always felt she owed a lot, always felt I could not take care of her negligence. So, head to the gym two years ago made little rainbow, I said nothing to give her contact the club.
Small rainbow in the time derailed. People are looking for the coach's wife came home, but also pointing to my nose curse: "To show you that good gossips!" She talked to the coach, "practice" to the bed! I really want to fan themselves a few ears. What kind of things, ah, I let her go to the gym, back into her pull strings of the. Ultimately, this little rainbow landed slap in the face. It was the first time I beat her, and took her back to her family.
Rainbow is not less that a few days, I am sad too crazy. I repeatedly asked myself: "Do you still love her? You have no responsibility?" Thought to want to, I prefer to believe that her lonely, I was too negligent that she made a mistake before. When the little rainbow tears came seeking me, I forgive her.
I changed jobs again, more time with her. She told me more gentle, and sometimes my feet massage. But just three months later, a small rainbow and "trouble" was.
That I participate in the bar of the birthday party colleagues, overheard another private room came the sound of giggling like a little rainbow. I go in the half-open door to see, clearly see the little rainbow was leaning against a strange man's arms.
I was on the Mongolia, could not believe it in front of everything. Before I go, she told me to drink less, go home earlier. I never thought I had left, she told the other men fool around. So, I lied to something, back home in advance.
I rage, in the living room a pick one to smoke. To think of her, I could not even speech-paid work, she is not satisfied, it is too much. Two in the morning, a small rainbow home. She was covered in alcohol, flushing. See I did not sleep, she was frightened, and stammered that he is not seen for a long time student and a drink. See I do not speak, she panicked, "splash" knelt in front of me, say it all.
I filed for divorce, small rainbow face and tears, hugged me. After a long time, I calmly, and with a sigh, said: "Why bother?" Said this, my heart in the blood, smoking has been shaking hands. She cried fiercely: "I love the people you ah! I know is wrong, give me another chance ..." She cried while also playing their own side of the face, mouth were bleeding.
Once again, I relented. I think as long as the double after her well, there should not be next time.
Indeed, a small rainbow perform better than before, and gave me breakfast every morning, I came home from work, she will also prepare a meal. I am glad that the original sense, otherwise, I regret it died.
Unexpectedly, I still regret it. Last month, a small rainbow even any connection with the users hooked up. She went to the bath, the phone rang. I helped myself over to look, is actually an ambiguous message. I then look at the text messages she had found her with a man opened the room, the other asked how she felt, she was very comfortable there is no shame to say ... ...
I completely collapsed. I have repeatedly forgive her, she was more and more insatiable. She said that alone, I changed jobs to accompany her; her boring, I bought her a computer. And I try not to have to work overtime, and also how do I be considered good?
I sank through the. The next day, I would consult a divorce lawyer to do. When we go out, little rainbow habitually held my hand, although the last I throw off her, but that moment, my heart hurt.
She again derailed, he again and again to forgive. What is so happy hovering over the cliff?
Xiaogang in sales during that time is often not at home, sometimes not even a phone call, I always feel the heart to tears, you need something to fill. So, I went to fitness training, to know where the coach. His heart was fine, I am concerned, every completed training have sent me home. This, Xiaogang impossible.
Coach's wife to come home to after trouble, we all know this, I also Xiaogang beaten, back to her family. Fortunately, the Xiaogang finally realized his lack of concern for me, for a job.
But did not last long, for some time engaged in assessment of their company, he began to regularly work overtime. He work overtime, I forget more than one person alone. He knew me no friends, my life was all his, but he would not let me protest, just bought me a computer, so when I play games to pass the time right.
Online, I encounter eight years ago love her boyfriend. He said he lost a lot of money doing business, like a suicide, death, want to see me one last time. We drank a lot of wine, talk to a life of their own disappointments. When it comes to the sweet past when I was out of control.
This one actually saw was Xiaogang, thoroughly out of luck. I am very afraid of him and me to go, and I divorced, confessed everything. Unexpectedly, he finally forgave me, but also more considerate of me.
I told myself, no longer made a mistake. So, all I have to focus on Xiaogang, who intentions to take care of everything at home. However, some things are not beyond the control of their own. There I met some friends, he too would tease a woman happy, we mysteriously opened the room ... ...
This time, Xiaogang has been playing the divorce agreement, so I just sign papers. The first few days, my mother heard that we want a divorce, specifically came to persuade me from home. I know she is good for me, but I do not like her, more let alone listen to her. Speaking, the situation today and she can not avoid.
My mother pretty capable, I grew dependent on her. My dad busy, although a free will accompany me, but more time at work. 10 years old, I discovered my mother had betrayed my father. My mother said to me sternly: "No tell your dad! Said on unwanted you! You want to see our divorce?" I'm very frightened, and quickly a few random points nod. After that incident, I can not help and her mother to fight it, several times, I regarded her angry tears. Also, I found my father still busy, did not detect my mother a little secret, I think my dad is also quite sad.
Know how to love men, I can understand her mother, but I could not be a good relationship with her. She advised me to cherish this marriage, I deliberately to provoke her: "first themselves and their right ..." She listened, while the red burst of white face, turned and went back home.
Think about it, I really unfortunate, bad relationships and her mother, her husband should leave me. I would also like to sit safely live, how happiness can be so difficult?
[Diagnosis] Zhang Anjiang expert (psychologist)
1, who is driving his wife's derailment
Psychological research into the human type of internal control and external control-based categories. Internal control type of person that many things are caused because of their own reasons, that their efforts can change the status quo; external control what type of person often attributed to external reasons, that life can not be independent, so self-indulgent and decadent living a negative life.
Cai Xiaogang and Fang Shaohong were in line with internal control and external control-oriented type features. Cai Xiaogang derailed the face of his wife several times, although the heart is very angry, but in the end will be attributed to himself, consistently chose to compromise and accommodation. This seems the sake of his wife's behavior, but more to strengthen his wife obtained.
Fang Shaohong relatively simple, small dependent mother, her lack of autonomy, self-control thinking and ability. Once her husband did not meet her needs, or she felt ignored, put blame the problems on her husband. Outside the control of these type of people often think: "If you do not, how could I do?" Words in all the blame on the other side, everything seems to have nothing to do with their own.
Cai Xiaogang constantly compromise and forgiveness, and more confirmed Fangshao Hong idea: I derailed not because I am bad, but because you are not good for me. On the other hand, Fang Shaohong found his mother after the derailment, intimidated by her mother, so she does not know how to release negative emotions, do not know how to communicate with others. After they married, she will only be used to express dissatisfaction with the way the derailment, and in this way, it is the copy of her mother's marriage pattern: the busy husband, betrayed wife.
2, grasp the boundaries of marriage
Cai Xiaogang need to do first is to _set_ a bottom line of marriage, if more than the bottom line, what kind of wife to bear the consequences. Secondly, as the wife's desire for passionate love style, we should more affection to his wife, loved to meet her needs. For example, when busy with work and often make a phone call, winding SMS, traveling a little small gift. In addition, to put aside the idea of taking on everything on everything, so that his wife needs to face her responsibilities.
Fang Shaohong first need to address their psychological trauma, the mother confessed to childhood injury and pain, the mother more understanding and tolerance. She also realized that many things are not the husband must be given, to learn to love others, and not have to demand her husband's love. When the inner emptiness of the time, and her husband to take the initiative to communicate, learn some communication skills. More importantly, she needs to enrich the heart, expand the interpersonal circle, develop interests and hobbies, learn to be responsible for their own time, rather than her husband was responsible.
(Editor: olive) |
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