Events: Too classic! "China's sharp Gag" Collection - Heavenly Man fart big truth
|  太经典了！“中国犀利Gag”集锦――天朝屁民大实话
Too classic! "China's sharp Gag" Collection - heavenly big truth Ming Pao people fart
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao We are from Jingdezhen, cups and cutlery that rich, that is sensitive to the most famous porcelain. We also divided government and the people, a sensitive government post porcelain, the people make the cups. (Note
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao Hong Kong can do anything, except permitted under the law; Singapore could not do anything, except as permitted by law; Taiwan can do anything, including the law does not allow for; mainland could not do anything, including permitted by law.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao is because the army to fight the 50s, 60s because of the Cultural Revolution turmoil because the mountains and the countryside 70 years, 80 years is not due to the University, the 90's because of poor Ding Dong, 00 years because the money buy a house, 10 years because of (fashion) stock is king
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao really if property prices fell, the working class can afford, what song would you point? 1, Zhang Zhen Yue: "fart"; 2, Gigi Leung: "The future of the future"; 3, JJ: "After a thousand years"; 4, Emil Chau: "Do not be silly"; 6, Han: "The Myth"; 6, Li Zheng: "Pigs are laughing"; 7, Jacky Cheung: "I wait until the flowers have wilted."
China's sharp Gag
Kiss in the park, and most are not husband and wife;
Success in leading the table before, most are not go-getters;
In the shuttle during the dinner, and most are not the protagonist;
I used to get an identity card out of the brightest, most people have no identity;
Lot a lot of cash, and most are not rich.
Often in the micro-blog to let off steam, and real life are mostly obedient.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao morning to get up, boxing; morning meetings, take a nap; noon meal, belching; afternoon to go to work, play Kazakhstan; evening overtime, playing cards; evening entertainment, playing ×; late at night to go home and fight.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao Principle of Proportionality in the Chinese criminal law: for the younger children asked how this formula is going on? Sentenced to two and a half. Ask for the older children, this school is how is it? Sentenced to 5 years. Republic of large and small for all the children asked how this country is going on? Sentenced to 11 years.
China's sharp Gag
Poor personal money owed, the money owed to the rich countries; drink to see the degree of the poor, the rich drink brand to see; write a book of the poor, the rich piracy; eating poultry is poor, Eat the rich beast; arable land is poor, the sale of the land is rich; woman to others sleeping on the poor, the rich woman sleeping people.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao greenhouse (greenhouse) the season of chaos, and chaos between the procedures, the level of the ability to mess things up, the judge confused the law, police law and order into chaos, and money to bureaucratic mess, military vehicles of the traffic mess, and Miss generational mess.
China's sharp Gag
3G era of the "Three Represents", including: GDP (gross domestic product) the development requirements of advanced productive forces; GFW (Great Firewall) represents the direction of advanced culture; Government (Government) on behalf of the majority of the people of the "fundamental interests."
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao these days, full of typos: planting trees to create "zero" and white "revenue" started, ground "fishing," rich, choose "tyrants" of cadres, as the fancy as "free", _select_ "oil" admission, may "wealth" and "money", check the "feast" revenue, strong support, "eat" the people "reserve" harm, to mention "money" release, "attack the official" Miss.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao did not understand the etiquette manners, do not know know to enjoy the freedom of Bao Zheng know just do not know, understand face do not know the dignity of the struggle do not know struggle to understand, understand class not understand equality, and to understand the criminal law do not understand the Constitution, understand sovereignty do not understand human rights, understand the communist republic do not know, understand the Diaoyu Islands Diaoyutai do not know, do know people do not understand citizen.
China's sharp Gag (Mandarin) ... Dennis Abstracts (famous Quotes)
"Flange off, and Italy from the grape dumb, England rotten, but unfortunately the bus, Argentina stopped, then return to the Bala may also Siniora belongs, Spain, dumb, rotten Netherlands Is Germany really had the last? "
Note: China sharp Gag
China's sharp Gag
At that time medicine can cure; doctors are life-saving; photography is to wear clothes; to borrow money to repay; child to do his father is not identified; school is not for profit; with disease is think highly of; Housing is assigned; idiot is not a professor; married mistress can not find; meat is eaten can be assured; mouse or afraid of cats; people still have a conscience.
China's sharp gag
Job-hopping is a personal salary increase, jumping to all the pay, then what can the country pay jump
China's sharp gag
Rolling stone
Clearly and logically
Taciturn
Gain an immediate victory
Country sharp gag: 9 States military
United States: Who hit who wants to play;
United Kingdom: the United States who play who I fight;
Russia: Who called me who I fight;
France: Who hit me who I fight;
China: Who hit me I Mashui;
Japan: Who hit me who I let the U.S. play;
South Korea: Who hit me and the United States an exercise;
Israel: Who wants to hit me who I hit;
North Korea: Who I am not happy I hit South Korea.
China's sharp gag
South Africa World Cup is the Chinese people the world: football is made in China, jersey in China, the net is made in China, the ball post is made in China, made in China shoes, socks made in China, there are hundreds of millions of fans are made in China , player run golf course is not alone in China.
China's sharp gag
Today the payroll, but also the loan, to pay the rent, utility fees, buy the oil, rice and instant noodles, touch pocket, sighed loudly: This white-collar workers a monthly wage another. Called white-collar workers. The foreman said, wages, and a count their own housing, meals, loss of working time charges, medical expenses, the boss still owes more than 100, also too lazy to go picking. Called blue-collar.
China's sharp gag
Where the door of "the people" where the word sign, usually people can not wander in and out, like "the people's government", "People's Court" and other, hard to find a "people's bank", not for savings business. Only the "People's Hospital" to wander in and out the door, but it is the people are not willing to go in place.
China's sharp gag
Miss Sleeping with a drunk lead. The phone rings, pick Miss said: "I'm sorry, you call the user has drunk dial you tomorrow!" Cursed the next day led his wife: "how much alcohol you drink yesterday? China Mobile knows!"
China's sharp gag: A New Interpretation of the company position
President: who is always in the CD; boss: always a straight face; Director: always want to
Surveillance of people; manager: often unreasonable; Secretary: Let the leadership secrets comfortable.
China's sharp gag
3 men "sun" wages, A said: I am five thousand a month, I was x great master; B said: I'm more than a month, I'm Dr. returnees; C said: I million per month. A, B and shocked, and Ji Wen C. What is the degree? C A: What disabilities are not, but my father is a long-tested Communist fighter.
China's sharp Gag
Price of instant noodles,
Egg prices,
Flour prices,
Gasoline prices,
Down price of the ... ...
In addition to wages, prices of almost everything around him, and
But we still need to be strong to live, because prices of the cemetery now.
China's sharp Gag: out guide
Wear a helmet, to prevent the waste out of the sky;
Wear a life jacket, do not sink to the bottom fell Yinjing;
If crossing the road, drunk driving and speeding care;
To brisk walking across the street, road collapse at any time;
Do not stand under the bridge, maybe the bridge would be paralyzed;
Do not run in front of the building, maybe the building will lie down;
Home to up, the outside world so helpless!
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao non-smokers get lung cancer, does not work, the boss, not patriotic when a high official; true love can not be the real thing can not do, real people can not do; need to read the book can not afford, need housing can not afford, you need to marry people can not afford; culture can not learn to stay in, the ability of no live, with a conscience can not earn money.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao years of life and death, nine elders busy holding stability. Eighty-nine youth are not afraid of tigers, rushes to democracy. Disaster and disaster six decades, fifty cents muffled large fortune. Corner of the world are free, three-table lonely soy sauce. Two thousand and twelve is coming to together to defend the Diaoyu Islands!
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao a World Cup play, China floods. Made in 1990, issued in 1994, issued in 1998, and this year made only in 2002 did not qualify Kunitari hair. Visible, because of the flood of Chinese football does not live up to expectations, so God only howl ... ...
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao on the joint: the wind sound of rain and reading, I do not say anything. Second line: Family affairs world affairs, none of my Pishi. Streamer: while playing to
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao as long as they want to do, 1. First get hold of "news" throw it out to see the reaction of Internet users; 2. As long as users do not say anything (or small number of people opposed to), they just do; 3. As long as the users Most opposition, they deny; 4. netizens oppose all that they called, "false report."
China's sharp Gag
One person said: We must conduct a serious investigation of melamine in the end! So Zhao drafted was sentenced to two and a half. One person said: We must thorough investigation of school quality in the end! Tan Zuoren then sentenced to five years. One person said: political reform, we must rest until I die! So Liu was sentenced to eleven years.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao has a need to tell you the truth: The Chinese men's soccer ranked No. 89, far higher than China's GDP per capita in the world rankings, per capita income ranking officials Corruption Perception Index ranking, ranking of social welfare, health care system ranking, environmental index ranking, ranked per capita natural resources ... ... What right do you have ridiculed the Chinese football?
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao tourists visit the Expo to talk to the volunteers, too tired, hoping to stay in the park in order to avoid trouble out of the park. Volunteers explained that there are no hotels to stay at the park, visitors turned out a map for a serious look, pointing to the map of the volunteers said, "This is not the Philippines library?"
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao schedule of meetings with Chinese characteristics: the morning exchange on the topic: You 忽悠 me, I 忽悠 you; noon banquet, theme: you drunk I am, I'm drunk you; afternoon recognition, on the theme: You flatter me, I flatter you; night dance, theme: you hold me, I hold you.
China's sharp Gag: how my country, my country how
Ming Pao someone to change the signature QQ: How my country, I will state how. The same day immediately summoned to the unit leadership, to persuade them to do cool. Someone wondered, that there is no means to oppose the state ah! Leaders of the unit said: We are all Chinese, the state how the common people, not I know?
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao you reason with him, and he and you are bullying; you and his bullying, he and you say the legal system; And you spoke to the legal system, he and your politics; you and his politics, he and you say conditions ; And you spoke to conditions, he and you say standards; And you spoke to standards, he and you say culture; And you spoke to culture, Confucius, he say to you; And you spoke to Confucius, and he and I tell you; you I tell him, he gives you installed grandson!
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao Boeing and Airbus of France is a "conspiracy of the Commonwealth", when the United States to sell the airplane, let French President see the Dalai Lama; when the French to sell the plane, let the U.S. see the Dalai Lama. Protests in China continues to buy large aircraft, eventually to achieve "one machine per capita," the world level.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao's life seemed to take the Beijing Subway Line: via international trade, the envy of downtown; through Tiananmen Square, the illusion of power; via Financial Street, the dream fortune; after Gongzhufen, Way back gorgeous family; after Yuquan Road, are still ambitious ... ... At this time, a voice floated ear: passengers Hello, Babaoshan (cemetery) is coming!
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao is the life I most admire the kind of broadcast CCTV: Beijing room 77 yuan per month, wages grew 11.2%, 99.13% employment rate of university students, government officials, day and night learning Eight Honors and Eight Shames, the average college students canteen 2,3 per tonne. My dream is that we can always live in the CCTV News Network.
China's sharp Gag
Ming Pao holding stability of the fee, people fart tax. Spend your money, put you to sin. There injustice first kneeling, known for leading sleep. Heavenly fart people are tired, one-party dictatorship is not ashamed.
China's sharp Gag
Civil Service Exams:
1, what country is legal robbery?
2, what countries report to the police station will be strongly J's?
3 demolitions of what country you are legally protected housing?
4, what country is the collective behavior of corruption TW pollution?
5 What is the national drunk driving causing death and injury to exemption?
6, what countries to buy a kitchen knife to their real names?
7, What is the state to spend your money you should not ask such questions?
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