乡土风情 》 田園 Countryside   》 田園 Countryside      陳忠實 Chen Zhongshi      Countryside 　　早班遠郊公共汽車開進桑樹鎮，把古老的鄉村小鎮從黎明前 　　的酣睡中驚醒了。宋濤從“咣噹”一聲自動打開的車門裏下來， 　　踏着厚厚的積雪，嚮鎮外走去。他與前妻所生的兒子今天結婚。 　　他是趕早回到鄉下來參加兒子的婚禮的。他得知這個消息是在昨 　　天，置買什麽東西顯然已經來不及了，腰裏裝着三百元現鈔，讓 　　孩子們日後再去置買他們需要的物品，比他買什麽禮物可能更合 　　乎實際。 　　 　　大雪覆蓋了原野。黎明的微曦中，無垠的雪原閃着清冷的白 　　光。從桑樹鎮通南宋村的小路早已拓寬了，雪路上有汽車或拖拉 　　機碾過的轍印。路兩邊的白楊長得小桶粗了。像兩堵齊刷刷的墻 　　壁，一直伸展到黑黝黝的河灘裏。黎明時的風好冷啊，田野寂然 　　無聲比剋泰德（Epiktetos，約66—？）、馬可·奧勒留 　　（MarcusAuF，軟軟的積雪在腳下發出咯吱咯吱的響聲…… 　　 　　宋濤穿着長袍，戴着禮帽，帽殼上纏着一匝紅綢子，被前呼 　　後擁着，走在這條小路上。他的身後則是最高級的理念，以它為 　　本，形成一個階梯體係。但宇宙，是在嗩吶鳴奏中忽閃忽閃行進 　　的花轎，轎裏坐着尚未見面的媳婦。 　　 　　嗚嗚哇……嗚嗚哇……悠揚的嗩吶聲吹得宋濤腦子裏混沌一 　　片，總是像在問，是啥樣……是啥樣…… 　　 　　當左鄰右捨的嬸娘和嫂子們把蒙着臉的新娘攙進新房，他立 　　即跳上炕去，蹺起一隻腿，想從新娘的頭頂繞一匝。這是自古流 　　傳下來的風俗，為了防止新娘婚後瘋長，新娘進門先蹺一個“尿 　　騷”。她的個子又幾乎和他一樣，還敢再長嗎？儘管他當時已經 　　是小學教員了，仍然很認真地蹺起腿來。 　　 　　她似乎早有所料，一揚手，就把他的腿隔到一邊去了。他打 　　個趔趄，想再次擡腳，她已經躲到墻根，遠遠地站着。 　　 　　他跳下炕來，在隔壁二嬸努嘴示意下，忐忑不安地揭起蒙在 　　她臉上的紅布，心裏嗡地一下，血涌到臉上，眼睛也花了，那是 　　一張多麽漂亮的臉蛋呀！ 　　 　　她羞怯地瞧他一眼，就頷首低眉，坐在椅子上，雙手搭在膝 　　間，一動不動…… 　　 　　一批又一批的親戚坐過席，挎上提盒籠兒上路了。夜晚鬧房 　　的小夥子們也離去了。所有繁冗的鄉村傳統結婚禮儀的最後一道 　　手續，是新婚夫妻吃合歡餛飩。餛飩是由娘傢兒女雙全的嫂子們 　　捏的，裝在一隻紅漆木盒裏，由弟弟跟隨花轎提來的。他的二嬸 　　從廚房裏端着一隻木盤進來了，木盤裏有兩衹金邊細碗，兩雙新 　　筷，他早已聽過母親的叮囑，默默地急吃急咽，想一口咬到那衹 　　包着一枚銅錢的餛飩，那是福氣和吉祥的象徵。她卻慢吞細嚼， 　　並不在意的樣子。眼看碗裏衹留下三四個餛飩的時候，二嬸一把 　　奪過，又把她的碗遞到他手裏。 　　 　　輕輕一聲磣牙的咯響，他看見，從她細密的牙齒間，夾着一 　　枚金黃的銅錢。她的臉略一紅，把銅錢交到二嬸手裏。 　　 　　“俺娃有福。”二嬸笑着，拍着她的頭，“跟了個女婿是先 　　生，誰有這福氣！” 　　 　　二嬸把銅錢遞過去，很嚴肅的擱在他的手心裏，用眼睛和嘴 　　巴同時示意：放到嘴裏去！ 　　 　　金黃色的銅錢，濕溜溜的，粘着她的唾液。他有點不好意思， 　　一擡眼，她正專註地盯着他，神情嚴肅極了，她在揣測和試驗， 　　他嫌她的口液髒嗎？他一把把銅錢填到嘴裏，那銅錢使他的口腔 　　裏産生一股奇異的感覺，淡淡的，甜甜的，心兒在胸腔裏忽悠悠 　　飄動起來。一側頭，他看見她低下頭去，臉頰上浮起一層紅暈， 　　現出兩個淺淺的酒窩。 　　 　　“二嬸，我咽到肚裏去了！”他故作懊惱地說。 　　 　　二嬸嗔笑着，從他嘴裏掏出銅錢，壓在炕席下，拍拍手，狡 　　黠地一笑，壓低聲兒：“知道不？倆人的頭要壓着銅錢……”旋 　　即走出門，從外面把門拉上了。 　　 　　她的臉騰地飛紅了，雙手捂在臉頰上，彎下腰去了。 　　 　　他的臉發燒，呆呆地坐着，出着粗氣。院裏走過父親和母親 　　送二嬸出門回傢的腳步聲，街門“咣噹”一聲插上門栓了，父母 　　在裏屋住的木板也響起關閉時的吱扭聲，小院裏靜息下來了。 　　 　　他輕輕關上房門，心跳得更厲害了。她仍然雙手捂着臉頰， 　　彎着腰，低着頭，壓抑着的出氣聲，越來越不勻稱。他站在窄小 　　的廈房的腳地，瞧着離他兩三尺遠的媳婦，似乎今天不是第一次 　　見面，而是早就熟悉的。是的，他日夜在心裏渴盼着、盼望着、 　　描繪着的，不就是這樣一位可心的人兒嗎？不，她比他想象中的 　　朦朧的影子生動多了。 　　 　　他沒有陌生感，先是輕輕地摟住她渾實的肩膀。今天清早纔 　　輓起的發髻，把蓬鬆的劉海和鬢發一齊攏梳到腦後那個頭髮疙瘩 　　裏，作姑娘時覆蓋着的耳朵和脖頸露出來了，像剛剛揭開的豆芽 　　的顔色。她的身上，有一股奇異的香氣（不是脂粉）撲到他的臉 　　上來。他緊緊地擁抱着那溫熱的肩頭。 　　 　　“你……甭……”她掙脫開他的手臂，自己也挺身坐端了， 　　“我有話……跟你說。” 　　 　　“說呀！我聽着。”他在另一隻椅子上坐下。 　　 　　“我……”她擡起頭，沉靜地瞧着他，“我不識字……你不 　　嫌棄嗎？” 　　 　　“我教你認字，寫字。”他笑了，當是什麽嚴重事情，並且 　　隨即攤開一張紙，拔出插在製服口袋上的水筆，在紙上寫起來， 　　“看，這是你的名字：田——秀——芬。” 　　 　　“我能學會嗎？” 　　 　　“能！” 　　 　　他把水筆塞到她手裏，把她的手和筆一起握在自己手心，臉 　　貼着她的頭髮，在紙上一筆一畫寫下她的名字。 　　 　　她側過頭來，眼裏騰起一縷霧樣的東西，像小河早春彌漫的 　　水汽，顫着聲說：“再幫我，寫下你的名字……” 　　 　　她在兩個名字之間，畫着一顆拙劣的心的圖樣，然後端詳着， 　　久久地端詳着，摺叠好，從席下取出那枚銅錢，包在紙折裏，又 　　壓在席下。 　　 　　他恍然醒悟，這個沒有文化的農村姑娘，有着怎樣的細膩的 　　感情啊！ 　　 　　她走到他的跟前，沉靜地盯着他的眼睛，然後撲跌進他的懷 　　裏：“哥……” 　　 　　一輛手扶拖拉機開過來，車輪濺起的雪粒甩到他的臉上，涼 　　冰冰的。車上坐着男女農民，女人們用頭巾包裹着臉頰，衹露出 　　眼睛，男人們把耳扇緊緊拴在下巴底下，臉凍得紅紅的。臘月中 　　旬了，傳統的新春佳節就要來臨了，他們大約都是一早趕到鎮上 　　去置辦年貨的。 　　 　　天色完全亮了，雪原上白茫茫一片。臨近村莊裏的大喇叭正 　　在播出當日新聞，打破了黎明時天地間靜謐的氣氛。湛藍的天空 　　像一望無際的藍色錦緞，白色的原野似無限伸展的白綢。驟然而 　　降又驟然而止的大雪，把入鼕以來幹旱的黃塵洗濯得幹幹淨淨， 　　大地淨潔，高空深遠，空氣清新，這是生養他的北方故鄉的田園。 　　 　　離開大路，斜插上一條積雪茸茸的小道，他走到河沿上來了。 　　河灘上的雪似乎更厚，一堆堆的河卵石，包裹着雪衣，一條細流 　　在雪地裏彎來繞去，嘩嘩響着。河道兩岸修起高大的河堤，臨水 　　面用水泥砌成一方一塊的護坡。河堤上高大的楊樹和柳樹，枝條 　　上綉着一層雪。 　　 　　河上架着木板橋，河對岸就是他的村莊，宋濤一步一步，終 　　於從滑溜的木板橋上走到對岸了。那株大柳樹，有兩三合抱粗了， 　　中間似乎已經空心，而枝條依然稠密，臨近水，柳樹的壽命是很 　　長久的…… 　　 　　“你怎跑到這兒來！”從他村子裏下了河，順着彎彎麯麯的 　　河岸走下來，在大柳樹下，看見了秀芬，她蹲在河邊洗衣服，搓 　　呀，捶呀，涮呀，河水中飄流着皂角的白色泡沫。“回吧！” 　　 　　“我一會兒就洗完咧。”秀芬轉過頭來，輕輕噓口氣，嫵媚 　　地笑着，“馬上完。” 　　 　　“回去！”他抓住裝衣服的籠，“回去，陪我坐在屋裏，啥 　　也甭幹！咱倆在一起……衹有三天了……” 　　 　　“你坐在這兒。”她指着身邊的一塊石頭，“你不能穿着髒 　　衣服走呀！” 　　 　　“歇一會兒。”他說。 　　 　　她多情地盯他一眼，溫順地笑笑，把手上的水在衣襟上擦擦， 　　和他靠肩坐在柳樹下。四周是高過人頭的葦叢，呱呱鳥的叫聲響 　　成一片，它們在葦叢裏追逐、嬉戲、熱戀，然後合夥銜草造窩， 　　産卵，哺育幼鳥。 　　 　　傍晚溫馨的河風吹過葦叢，她的散亂的鬢發拂到他的臉上， 　　她閉着眼睛，靠在他的肩頭上。 　　 　　“朝鮮很遠嗎？” 　　 　　“很遠。” 　　 　　“你……不去……不成嗎？” 　　 　　“我是青年團員。” 　　 　　“我總覺得……害怕。” 　　 　　“甭怕。” 　　 　　“我想你了怎辦？” 　　 　　“……” 　　 　　他回答不瞭瞭，看見她的臉上，淚珠咕嚕咕嚕滾落下來。 　　 　　“甭哭。”他說，自己喉頭也哽住了。 　　 　　“我沒哭。”她噘起嘴，“當面把眼淚流完，省得你走後再 　　流。” 　　 　　“我走了，誰都放心得下。爸和媽年齡還不大，有哥哥照 　　看。”他說，“衹有你……一個人……” 　　 　　“甭挂念我。”她看他難受了，反倒一挺身子，給他寬心， 　　“我小時候啥苦都吃過，現時好到天上了。爸媽人都老好，待我 　　也好，我跟在親娘跟前一樣……” 　　 　　多好的妻子啊！ 　　 　　“朝鮮在哪兒？”她問。 　　 　　“在那邊。”他指着東邊的天空。河柳和白楊織成的濃密的 　　林帶。老鷹在五月湛藍的天空悠然展翅。秦嶺的群峰隱沒在淡淡 　　的灰霧裏。 　　 　　“我們離得太遠了。”他說。 　　 　　“不遠。”她說，“你永遠在我跟前。” 　　 　　她從內衣口袋裏掏出他們新婚第一夜裏，他捉着她的手，寫 　　下倆人名字的那張紙，紙上有她畫的一顆心的圖像。那枚被夫妻 　　合吮過的銅錢，當地一聲掉在石頭上了。 　　 　　“你日夜都在我心裏。” 　　 　　遠處有腳步響，宋濤放開摟着秀芬肩膀的手。葦叢中的荒草 　　地上，閃過一個人挎着草籠的身影。他看出來，那是父親，知趣 　　地躲到葦叢中去了…… 　　 　　鼕季裏，雪把一切都嚴嚴地遮蓋着，分不清葦園、稻田和麥 　　地，呱呱鳥早已飛回南方過鼕去了。他靜靜地站在大柳樹下，哪 　　一塊河石，是秀芬掄着棒槌給他搓洗衣服來呢？ 　　 　　鼕日的太陽遲遲從東山群峰的巔頂露出臉來，雪野裏反射出 　　耀眼的光環，雪在變幻着色彩，這是十分明麗壯觀的景象。 　　 　　走上河堤，有一條在雪地裏任意踩踏出來的便道，直通南宋 　　村。 　　 　　他從朝鮮光榮回歸，到城裏一傢工廠當宣傳科長了。每個星 　　期六，騎着自行車回來，和父母妻子歡聚一天，留下工資的大部， 　　周日晚再去城裏工廠上班，一傢人和美地過日子，左鄰右捨誰不 　　誇他們一傢人啊！公公是最好的阿公，母親是頂賢明的婆婆，媳 　　婦是賢慧的媳婦，而他，是南宋村當時頂有出息、幹成大事的偉 　　人！可誰能料到，不過兩年，在朝鮮僅僅衹是認識的一位女文工 　　團員分配到了宣傳科，這兒是正在掀起新的建設熱潮的古老的城 　　市，兩個從戰火中結識的戰友，從同志和上下級的關係，很快發 　　展到……他和她結婚了。 　　 　　重新結婚是歡樂的，而與秀芬離異是痛苦的，沒有文工團員 　　給他的歡樂作安慰，他是無法忍受離異的痛苦的。父親是一個傳 　　統道德的忠誠衛士，母親是太喜歡秀芬了。他在朝鮮的幾年裏， 　　和家庭多少有些陌生了，而秀芬卻和這個家庭結成了血肉交鑄的 　　關係……父親和母親，居然下决心趕走了叛逆的兒子，甘願繼續 　　和一個異姓的媳婦過他們的農傢生活。 　　 　　“滾！至死，你都甭進我的傢門！”父親說。 　　 　　“你享你的榮華富貴，俺過俺的莊稼漢日月，俺和孫孫餓死， 　　不求拜你娃子！”母親“咣噹”一聲，把街門關上了。 　　 　　他從緊關着的街門口，走到村口，四下的樹後墻惻隱藏着看 　　熱鬧的村人，是一種怎樣卑視的眼目！他沉重地走出村，過了木 　　板橋，進了城…… 　　 　　他和後妻的家庭是幸福的。她比秀芬長得聰穎，眉目傳情， 　　面貌秀氣，皮膚細膩，說話和氣，知書識禮，對他體貼愛護…… 　　短短的狂熱時期一過，他卻總也感覺不到秀芬那些特有的東西， 　　他常常暗暗思念她，有一種負疚的心情。如果秀芬也像父母一樣 　　刻毒的駡他，咒他，也許會把她最初給他的幸福而美好的印象衝 　　刷掉。可是，她除了哭，就是苦心勸，勸不下，她就任他去了， 　　什麽也不說…… 　　 　　在城裏偶爾遇見南宋村的鄉黨，他托他們帶些錢和衣物給孩 　　子，想不到，過後又被南宋村進城的鄉黨用包裹帶回來了，而且 　　捎來母親或是父親的話：“黃面饃，稠米湯，能養大宋濤，也就 　　能養大孫孫！” 　　 　　他開始憎恨父親和母親。尤其令他不能容忍的是，秀芬一直 　　寡居着。新社會，有這樣頑固的阿公和婆婆，秀芬太苦了。如果 　　她能找到一個可心的丈夫，對他的心是一種安慰。可是許多年過 　　去了，她仍然在沒有丈夫的阿公阿婆傢裏過活着，這樣的日月， 　　她怎麽過啊…… 　　 　　算着兒子已足二十的成年年齡，他早已升任人員和設備擴大 　　了幾倍的中型工廠的副廠長了。適逢工廠招工，破例地有一批招 　　收農村青年的名額。他想到兒子，是盡父親最後也是最初的一次 　　責任了，他寫了急信，要兒子來找他。 　　 　　兒子沒有來，任何人也沒有來，卻收到一封信，說他在農村 　　生活尚好，爺爺和奶奶年邁了，母親也接近晚年，農村生産隊裏， 　　沒有一個男勞力是不行的，吃水都睏難…… 　　 　　踏上場塄，一眼就看見他傢的門樓、土圍墻。門鎖着，顯然， 　　一傢人不在。臨河這一排老莊基的東邊，過去是一片荒樹園子， 　　他和夥伴們掏鳥蛋、打彈弓的樂園，現在是一排整齊的新住宅區， 　　一律是磚包墻，寬敞的新式門窗，現出一片紅色的機製大瓦，莊 　　前屋後大大小小，高高低低的樹木，標志着房屋落成的遲早，那 　　兒擁着一堆人，他隱約得知，兒子已經蓋起一院新房，肯定就在 　　那裏了。 　　 　　年輕小夥和媳婦們，沒有人認識他，他也不認識他們。直到 　　門前人多的地方，纔有一位老婦人擠眨着眼睛：“這不是濤娃子 　　嗎？”他也認出，這是二嬸，強迫他把合歡銅錢填到嘴裏去的二 　　嬸呀，老得佝僂着腰，拄着拐杖，頭髮全白了，像田野裏的雪。 　　她驚嘆他也老了！ 　　 　　好多年長的老者圍住他，問長問短，全沒有記恨他的意思， 　　他們當年不能容忍他的心情現在淡忘了，和他客客氣氣說話，羨 　　慕他升了官，發了財，是城裏人了。 　　 　　二嬸指使一位中年媳婦，叫秀芬出來迎接客人。她知道他此 　　刻的難處，怎麽貿然進去呢？二嬸真是好二嬸，老了仍然知人心。 　　那媳婦旋即出來，在二嬸耳根悄悄說着什麽。他猜到了，前妻秀 　　芬不來迎接他。二嬸裝做無事一樣：“走！跟二嬸進。” 　　 　　他跟二嬸走着，身後傳來鄉黨們的竊竊議論： 　　 　　“現時看，當時人傢在城裏成傢，倒是對！” 　　 　　“吃穿不愁腸，兒女有工作！有文化人看世事就是遠……” 　　 　　“比咱笨莊稼人眼光寬哩！” 　　 　　是這樣嗎？莊稼人現在這樣看世事了。鄉黨們對他這樣評議 　　了。他卻想着，如果當初不離開秀芬，現在在故鄉的田園裏修一 　　院房，退休之後，幫兒子種種自留地，責任田，前院裏養點花， 　　後院養些雞，傍晚到小河裏釣魚，又何嘗不如城市那兩三間小閣 　　樓呢？他愈到晚年，愈覺得鄉村的親切。可是，鄉裏人現在卻贊 　　成他當時是有遠見的舉動…… 　　 　　大門用黑漆刷飾一新，勾着紅邊，門框上貼着大紅對聯。院 　　子上空吊搭起葦席，擋着寒風，席棚下襬着一排排桌凳，後院臨 　　時安頓着廚房，傳出滾油的爆響。 　　 　　走過院子，裏屋門口，老態竜鐘的母親和鬢絲灰白的秀芬， 　　在迎接他。 　　 　　“媽——”他走到跟前，帶着懺悔的真誠口氣，聲音哽住了， 　　頓一頓，他轉過臉，“秀芬——” 　　 　　母親的多皺的嘴角痙攣似地抽動着，沒有應聲。 　　 　　“你……回來了！”秀芬招呼他，眉間現出兩道皺折，“坐 　　屋裏。” 　　 　　二十多年沒有聽到這熟悉的聲音了。顯然，聲音和她的容顔 　　一樣蒼老了，渾厚了，隱伏着暗暗的悲涼的韻味。 　　 　　……我不識字，你不嫌棄嗎？ 　　 　　……你……永遠在我心裏！ 　　 　　他在椅子上坐下，那麽迫切地點燃了一支煙，問母親：“俺 　　爸呢？” 　　 　　“喂牛去了。”母親說，“和宋老大傢合夥養了一頭母牛。” 　　 　　父親該有七十六七了，還在喂牛，兒子卻按照國傢規定的職 　　工勞動條例，過不了幾年就該退休了。 　　 　　一個年輕小夥端着木盤進來了，放在他面前的，是家乡的鱢 　　子面，每當過年過節，紅白喜事，莊稼人早飯都是一律的鱢子面。 　　肉丁、豆腐，黃花和木耳燴製的鱢子，那味道留在兒時的記憶裏， 　　至今不忘。進城以後，也沒少吃這種麵條，可味道和母親做出來 　　的差遠了。他一早趕路，腹中空空，那碗裏的香味，一下了撩撥 　　起他的食欲來。 　　 　　他捏滅了煙，抓起紅漆竹筷，攪動起長長的機製麵條。這當 　　兒，秀芬卻搶先一步，從他筷下把碗端起來了。他一愣，揚起頭， 　　她要懲治他、報復他嗎？ 　　 　　“我去冒一下滾水。”秀芬說。 　　 　　宋濤腦子裏嗡地一聲，足足麻木了半分鐘，像突然遭到電擊 　　一般…… 　　 　　她和他結婚的那年夏天，熱得人心燒目亂，她給他用新打的 　　井水冰了一碗涼面，拌了香油，調了芝麻????，他吃得好香。可是， 　　到後晌，他的肚疼病犯了，疼得在炕上打滾。 　　 　　她急得撓頭抓腮，手慌腳亂，眼淚直流。 　　 　　母親進來了，問：“晌午吃啥飯來？我不在。” 　　 　　“涼面。”她緊張地回答。 　　 　　“他自小肚子不好，不能吃涼飯。過了涼水的面，要到滾水 　　裏再冒一下。”母親說，並沒有責難的意思，“我忘了叮囑你。” 　　 　　“可他……咋不說呢？”她流着眼淚，怨自己也怨他，那怨 　　聲裏含着怎樣一種摯情啊。 　　 　　“他貪嘴！”母親疼愛地看着兒媳，替她解脫。接着就坐在 　　炕上，伸出一隻手，撩起衣襟，在他的肚子上揉撫着。他偷喝了 　　河渠裏的水，他偷摘了人傢的酸杏毛桃，一次次害得肚子疼的時 　　候，母親就這樣揉得他安然入睡，母親的那雙手啊！ 　　 　　母親揉了一會兒，說她還有事，就出去了。 　　 　　他和她都明白：母親是在給兒媳做示範。 　　 　　她照母親在炕上的姿勢坐好，把手伸到他的肚皮上，輕輕地 　　按着、揉着……那是區別於母親的一雙溫柔的手…… 　　 　　……我去冒一下。 　　 　　她還記得他不能吃涼飯的毛病，而他自己連這一點也忘記了。 　　在朝鮮戰場的烽火硝煙裏，惡劣的自然環境，早已鍛煉出他一副 　　消鐵化石的胃腸……可她還記着！ 　　 　　……我去冒一下！ 　　 　　秀芬端着一碗面進來了，雙手遞到他的手裏，然後轉過身， 　　低着頭，坐到母親旁邊的一條凳子上，頭低着。 　　 　　他看着冒着熱氣的面碗，再也抑製不住心頭的酸痛，兩行熱 　　淚奪眶而出，滴在碗裏了。 　　 　　母親的嘴角抽動得發抖，拄着拐杖，長長地哎噓一聲，走出 　　門去了。 　　 　　他擡起頭，秀芬也盯着他。屋子裏很靜，院裏嘻嘻哈哈的吵 　　鬧聲，說笑聲，更襯托出這一間小屋裏的安靜的氣氛。他終於忍 　　不住，哽哽咽咽地說：“你……受……苦了……” 　　 　　她一把捂住自己的嘴巴，沒有哭出聲來，眼淚卻從鼻梁兩邊 　　涌流下來，從手背上滾過，滴在前襟上了……久久地沉默之後， 　　她一甩頭，揚起來，說：“過去了的事，再……再甭……提說 　　了！” 　　 　　她如果痛駡他幾句，他可能得到心理上的平衡。她沒有駡， 　　離婚時沒有，離婚後也沒有，今天他和她當面，她仍然沒有。她 　　對他太寬容了，這種寬容所産生的負疚心理，與日俱增，在歲月 　　的流逝中負重越來越深了。 　　 　　“我錯了第一步，父母錯了第二步。”他終於把積在心頭的 　　話說出來，“衹有你……” 　　 　　她的眼裏現出一種凜然的神色，說：“不怪父母，他們叫我 　　走……那一條路，是我不想。” 　　 　　“為啥？”他問，“你何必折磨自個？” 　　 　　“我……的心裏……再裝不進……別人咧……” 　　 　　她又一把捂住自己的嘴。 　　 　　他跌坐在椅子上，唉……地一聲，說不出話了。果然是這樣！ 　　Mulberry early morning suburban bus drove into town from the old country town before dawn 　　Fast asleep woke up. Song Tao from "bam" sound down inside the door opens automatically, 　　Inspired by thick snow, the town went to the outside. He and his ex-wife's son married today. 　　He was hurriedly returned to the village down to attend his son's wedding. He learned the news in yesterday 　　Day, _set_ to buy something apparently it was too late, waist containing three hundred yuan in cash, so that 　　The children go home after buying the items they need, what to buy gifts than he may be more fit 　　Almost real. 　　Snow covered wilderness. Dawn micro-Xi, the shining expanse of snowy cold white 　　Light. Song from the village through the town of Mulberry has already widened the road, the snow on the road a car or drag 　　Machine run over the tire tracks. Aspen grow on both sides of the road kegs rough. Like two block walls uniform 　　Wall, has been extended to flood in swarthy. Wind cold dawn, ah, fields Jakunen 　　Silent BAK Ted (Epiktetos, about 66 -?), Mark Aurelius 　　(MarcusAuF, the soft sound of snow issued creak underfoot ...... 　　Song Tao wearing a robe, wearing a hat, wrapped around a child turns on red silk cap shell, is the former call 　　After hugged, go on this road. Behind him is the most advanced ideas, it is 　　The formation of a ladder system. But the universe is Hushanhushan Ming played in advancing the suona 　　The sedan, the car has not yet met his wife sat. 　　Wow ...... wow ...... hum hum melodious Suona a chaotic mind blowing Song Tao 　　Tablets, like always asking, is sawed sawed ...... ...... 　　Aunt and sister-in-law when the neighbors were veiled bride to mix into a new house, he _set_ up 　　That jump Shangkang go shave one leg, think about a turn from the bride's head. This is the ancient stream 　　Customs handed down, in order to prevent soaring bride marriage, the bride Rocker a door first "Urine 　　Show. "Her tall and almost like him, still dare to grow it? Even though he was already 　　Is a primary school teacher, and still shave their legs very seriously. 　　She seems to been expected, a bayan, put his legs separated to one side. He played 　　Stagger, think again heels, and she has hid foot of the wall, stood at a distance. 　　He jumped to the kang, a hint in the next Ershen Nuzui, uneasy lift kept in 　　Red cloth on her face, and my heart hum it, blood rushes to the face, eyes spent, it is 　　What a pretty face ah! 　　She shyly look at him, they nodded Goddess, sitting in a chair, his hands resting on the knees 　　Room, motionless ...... 　　Another batch of relatives sat in seats, Tihe cage Stock your child on the road. Night downtown housing 　　The boys also departed. All burdensome country last traditional wedding etiquette 　　Procedures are newlyweds eat acacia ravioli. Ravioli sons and daughters by her family's sister-in-law who 　　Pinch of red paint packed in a wooden box, followed by a sedan mention his brother to come. His Ershen 　　Carrying a wooden tray from the kitchen came in, there were two wooden tray Penh fine bowls, two pairs of new 　　Chopsticks, he had heard his mother's exhortations, silently swallow anxious anxious to eat, want a bite bird 　　Package with a copper coin of ravioli, which is a symbol of good fortune and good luck. She was slow to swallow ponder, 　　And do not care look. Seeing a bowl of wonton, leaving only three or four times, Ershen a 　　Snatched, again handed her a bowl in his hand. 　　Gently trampled teeth slightly loud bang, he saw, from fine between her teeth, tucked a 　　Pieces of golden coins. Her face was slightly red, put coins into the hands of Ershen. 　　"I baby blessed." Ershen smiled, patted her head, "is the first with a son 　　Students, who this blessing! " 　　Ershen handed over the coins, very serious hand resting on his heart, eyes and mouth 　　Pakistan simultaneously indicate: go into his mouth! 　　Golden coins, wet yo, sticking her saliva. He was a little embarrassed, 　　One looked up, she was staring at him intently, and looked very serious, her speculation and testing, 　　He suspected her mouth was dirty? He one of the coins to fill his mouth, his mouth so that coins 　　Lane produced a strange feeling faint, sweet, heart lengthy child neglect in the chest 　　Wafted up. A side head, he looked down to see her, float a layer of blush on the cheeks, 　　Emerged two shallow dimples. 　　"Ershen, I went to the pharynx to the stomach!" He said with mock chagrin. 　　Ershen anger smiled, pulled out coins from his mouth, the pressure in the Kangxi, clap your hands, cunning 　　Crafty smile, the sound of children down: "I know no two people head to pressing coins ......?" Spin 　　That is out of the door, pull the door from the outside. 　　Fei Teng her face, and her hands to her on the cheek, bent down to go. 　　His face fever, afford to sit out the coarse. Father and mother walked the yard 　　Ershen send out home footsteps, street door "bam" sound plug bolt, and parents 　　The board also lived in the back room sounded twist squeak sound when closed, a small courtyard resting down. 　　He gently closing the door, the heartbeat is worse. Her hands still clutching his cheek, 　　Bent over, head down, to suppress the sound of the outlet, more uneven. He stood in the narrow 　　The building housing the feet, the two looked at three feet away from his wife, does not seem the first time today 　　Meet, but already familiar with. Yes, he was eager in the heart of the night, looking forward, 　　Depicting, not that such a person satisfying children do? No, she was more than he imagined 　　Shadowy more vivid. 　　He did not strangeness, first gently around her real muddy shoulder. Today early in the morning before 　　Roll bun, fluffy bangs and hair on the temples of the rope together to comb the hair knot behind 　　Years, while for the girl's ears and neck covered with exposed, like just opened sprouts 　　Color. Her body, there was a strange odor (not powder) threw his face 　　Come. He hugged the TV drama warm shoulders. 　　"You say nothing ...... ......" She broke from his arm, and he is to come forward to the end of the ride, 　　"I have something to tell you ...... say." 　　"Speak! I'm listening." He sat down on the other chair. 　　"I ......" She lifted her head, still and looked at him, "I can not read ...... you do not 　　Dislike it? " 　　"I'll teach you to read, write." He laughed, when what is a serious matter, and 　　Then spread a piece of paper, pull the plug on the uniform pocket pen on paper to write, 　　"Look, this is your name: Tian - show - Fen" 　　"I can learn it?" 　　"Can!" 　　He put pen stuffed her hands, put her hands together and pen hold in their hands, face 　　Close to her hair, a painting on paper to write down her name. 　　She CeGuo head, the eyes Jumping ray fog-like things, like early spring creek filled 　　Water vapor, Chanzhuo whispered: "help me, write down your name ......" 　　She between the two names, painted a botched heart pattern, and then looked at, 　　Looked a long while, folded, remove the egg from the seats coins, wrapped in paper folded in, and 　　Pressure in the seats. 　　He suddenly wake up, this is not the girl in rural culture, has a kind of delicate 　　Feelings ah! 　　She walked in front of him, still and stared into his eyes, and then fell into his arms flapping 　　Lane: "Brother ......" 　　A tractor drove up, wheel thrown snow particles flung his face, cool 　　Ice. Car sat men and women farmers, women with a scarf wrapped around the cheeks, revealing only 　　Eyes, ears fan of the men tied tightly under the chin, face red with cold. In the twelfth lunar month 　　Ten days, the traditional Spring Festival is coming, they arrived early in the morning around the town are 　　To repairing New Year's. 　　Fully lit sky on a snowy vast expanse. Near the village of Big Horn positive 　　In the broadcast news of the day, breaking dawn between heaven and earth quiet atmosphere. Blue sky 　　Like the vast expanse of blue damask, white wilderness like white silk stretch infinitely. And suddenly 　　Drop and suddenly mindful of the heavy snow, the winter drought since the dust bowl washing clean, 　　Clean Earth, reaching high altitude, fresh air, it is fruitful to his hometown in northern pastoral. 　　Leave the road, snow envelops Xiecha on a trail, he walked up the riverside. 　　Snow on the flood seems to be more thick, piles of river gravel, wrapped in snow suits, a trickle 　　Bend in the snow to go around, rushing ringing. Both sides of the river from the tall embankment repair, waterfront 　　One a face brick with cement slope protection. On the embankment tall poplar and willow branches 　　Embroidered on a layer of snow. 　　Shelves with Mu Banqiao River, across the river to his village, Song Tao, step by step, and finally 　　On the other side came up from the slippery wood-deck bridge. Growing on a large willow, two or three encircle thick, 　　Seems to have a hollow in the middle, but still dense branches, close to the water, willow life is very 　　Long ...... 　　"How do you go here!" From his village down the river, along the winding 　　Walking down the riverbank, under the willow, saw Xiu-Fen, she crouched by the river washing clothes, rub 　　Yeah, hammer Yeah, rinse Yeah, river drift with saponin white foam. "Back to it!" 　　"I'll be washing the blanket." Sau Fun turned gently hush tone, charming 　　Smile, "finished soon." 　　"Go back!" He grabbed hold clothes cage, "Go back, sat in the house with me, what 　　Say nothing doing! We two together ...... only three days ...... " 　　"You're sitting here." She said, pointing around a stone, "You can not wear dirty 　　Clothes walking up! " 　　"Rest a while." He said. 　　She passionately stare at him, smiled meekly, wipe the water on the handle on the skirts, 　　And he was sitting under a willow by the shoulder. Surrounded by high over the head of reeds, called quack sound of birds 　　Into one, where they Weicong chase, play, love, and the title partner nest made of grass, 　　Spawning, feeding chicks. 　　Warm evening wind off the river reeds, temples scattered whisk her into his face, 　　Her eyes closed, leaning on his shoulder. 　　"North Korea is very far away?" 　　"Very far." 　　"You ...... do not ...... not it?" 　　"I was young members." 　　"I always feel ...... scared." 　　"Do not be afraid." 　　"I think you going to do?" 　　"......" 　　He can not answer, and saw her face, tears rolling down grunt. 　　"Do not cry." He said, his throat also choked. 　　"I did not cry." She pursed his lips, "face the tears streaming finished, save before you go 　　Stream. " 　　"I go, everyone was assured under. Dad and mom Age is not large, there is his brother according to 　　Look. "He said," Only one person ...... you ...... " 　　"Do not miss me." She saw him uncomfortable, actually a body, giving him a wide heart, 　　"I have eaten a child suffering what is now well into the heavens. Parents who are old and good, until I 　　Or, as I told the front biological mother ...... " 　　More good wife ah! 　　"North Korea where?" She asked. 　　"Over there." He pointed to the eastern sky. Willow and woven into a dense aspen 　　Forest. In May, the blue sky eagle wings leisurely. Qinling peaks hidden in faint 　　The fog inside. 　　"We're too far away." He said. 　　"Far." She said, "You're always in front of me." 　　She pulled out from their wedding night lingerie pockets first, he kept on holding her hand, write 　　Under the name of two people that piece of paper, the paper has painted a picture of her heart. Rocket was the couple 　　Together sucking off coins, soon fall on local stones. 　　"You are in my heart day and night." 　　Distant footsteps rang, Song Tao release arm around the shoulder Xiu-Fen hand. Weicong weeds 　　On the ground, leaving one person flashed grass cage figure. He looked out, it was his father, got the message 　　Hid Weicong go ...... 　　Winter, snow covered everything straitly with, tell Reed Park, rice and wheat 　　, The sorts of birds had to fly back south for the winter. He stood quietly under a large willow, which 　　A river stone, is Xiufen waving his wooden club to scrub clothes come from? 　　Late winter sun exposed face from the top of the roof to Dongshan peaks, reflecting Yukino 　　Numerous accolades, snow changing the color, which is very bright and spectacular sight. 　　Onto the riverbank, there is a stampede out of the snow at any sidewalk, through Song 　　Village. 　　His glorious return from North Korea, to a factory in the city when the propaganda chief. Each star 　　Saturday, riding a bike back, and parents gathered his wife one day, leaving most of the wage 　　Sunday night to go to the factory to work in town, a man the United States to live, neighbors who do not 　　They boast a man ah! Grandpa is the best father, the mother is the top wise mother, daughter 　　Virtuous woman is a wife, and he is the Southern Song Dynasty Village was the top showing great promise, as dry as a major event in the Wei 　　People! Who can expect, but two years in Korea just met a woman working paper 　　Members assigned to the publicity department, here is a new construction boom is _set_ off ancient city 　　City, the two get to know from the war comrades, comrades from the relationship and on the lower level, will soon send 　　Exhibition to ...... he married her. 　　Re-marriage is a joy, but divorce is painful and Xiu-Fen, no art troupe member 　　To his joy for comfort, he was unable to endure the pain of divorce. Father was a biography 　　Loyal defender of traditional morality, the mother is too fond of Sau Fan. His years in Korea, 　　And the family is somewhat strange, but Xiufen but flesh and the family formed a cross-cast 　　Relationship ...... father and mother, actually determined to get rid of the rebellious son, willing to continue 　　And a surname wife had their life on the farm. 　　"Go! Death, you say nothing into my house!" Said the father. 　　"You enjoy your wealth, I had I a farmer sun and the moon, I and Sun Sun starvation, 　　Does not seek to worship you Wazi! "Mother" bam "sound, the street door. 　　He shut tight street door, walked the village, looked back wall of compassion hidden in a tree watching 　　The lively village, is a kind of rejecting the eyes! He walked out heavily village, over the wood 　　Itabashi, into the city ...... 　　He and his wife after the family is happy. She looks intelligent than Sau Fun, ogle, 　　Look delicate, delicate skin, speak kindly, well-educated ceremony, for his thoughtful care of ...... 　　Over a short period of fanaticism, but I still can not feel his Xiufen those specific things, 　　He often secretly miss her, there is a feeling of guilt. If you like your parents Xiufen 　　Spiteful curse him, curse him, maybe she'll give him the happiness of the initial good impression punch 　　Brush. However, in addition to her cry, is painstakingly persuade, persuade high, she assumed he went, 　　Nothing to say ...... 　　Occasionally met in the city Xiangdang Song village, he asked them to bring some money and clothing to children 　　Son, to my surprise, after the village into the city of the Southern Song Dynasty and was wrapped Xiangdang brought back with it, and 　　Mother or father passes him the words: "yellow face bun, thick rice soup, can raise Song Tao, also 　　Can raise Sun Sun! " 　　He began to hate his father and mother. In particular, that he can not tolerate that, Xiu-Fen has been 　　Widowed forward. New society, there are so stubborn grandfather and mother, Xiu-Fen bitter. If 　　She can find a satisfying husband, for his heart was a comfort. But over many years 　　Gone, she still did not her husband's grandmothers and grandfathers had lived at home, so that the sun and moon, 　　How she had ah ...... 　　Calculate the age of twenty adult son had enough, he had promoted the expansion of personnel and equipment 　　The deputy director of a medium-sized factories several times. Coincides with the factory job, exceptionally, a number of strokes 　　Closed places rural youth. He thought of his son, is the last and the first time to make his father 　　Responsibility, he wrote urgent letter to his son to come to him. 　　His son did not come, did not come to anyone, but received a letter, saying that he in rural 　　Life is still good, his elderly grandfather and grandmother, the mother is also close to old age, rural production team, 　　No one man is not enough labor, draft are difficult ...... 　　_Set_ foot on the field Leng, a gatehouse saw his home soil walls. Door, apparently, 　　A person is not. Kanawha Laozhuang base east of the row, the past is a barren tree garden, 　　He and partners dig eggs, playing slingshot paradise, now is a neat row of new residential areas, 　　Always a brick wall enclosure, spacious new windows, emerged a big red tile mechanism, village 　　Front room, large and small, jagged trees, marking the completion of the house sooner or later, that 　　Children hugged a bunch of people, he vaguely informed that his son has a new house was built a hospital, certainly in the 　　There. 　　Young man and his wife who did not know him, he does not know them. Until 　　In front of the crowded places, only one woman crowded blinked: "This is not Tao Wazi 　　It? "He also recognized that this is Ershen, forcing him to put his mouth to fill Acacia coins of two 　　Aunt Yeah, too old to rickets waist, on crutches, his hair white, like snow fields. 　　She marveled that he is old! 　　A lot of the older old man surrounded him, fuss, and there are not unpopular with him, 　　They then tolerate his mood now forgotten, and he graciously spoke, envy 　　Mu he got a promotion, made a fortune in town people. 　　Ershen instigate a middle-aged wife, called Xiufen out to greet the guests. She knew he was this 　　Moment of difficulty, how rashly in? Ershen Ershen really good, old people still know. 　　The wife immediately came out in Ershen ears quietly saying something. He guessed, his ex-wife show 　　Finland does not come to meet him. Ershen pretended nothing, like: "go with Ershen into!." 　　He told Ershen walked behind me Xiangdang who secretly talk: 　　"At present, look, when people get married in the city, it touches on!" 　　"Food and clothing is not the feeling of sadness, children have a job! See things that intellectuals have far ......" 　　"Farmer vision than we stupid mile wide!" 　　Is that right? Now look at things this way a farmer. Xiangdang their comments on him 　　A. He was thinking, if you did not leave Sau Fan, now in his hometown in rural Shuichi 　　Hospital room, after retirement, to help his son to various plots, responsibility farmland, raising some flowers in front yard, 　　Some raise backyard chickens in the evening to a small river fishing, is it better to change it twenty-three Xiaoge 　　Floor it? He more to old age, the more rustic feel cordial. However, the village people now favor 　　He was a visionary move ...... 　　Door decorated with black paint brush, a new, Gouzhuo red edge, close to the red couplets on the door frame. Hospital 　　Sub-pitched reed mat hanging over, blocking the wind, stood under rows Zhuodeng mat huts, backyard Pro 　　When _set_tling the kitchen, came boiling oil Baoxiang. 　　Through the yard, the back room door, senile mother and temples gray silk Xiufen, 　　Greet him. 　　"Mom -" He came to it, with a sincere repentance tone, voice choked, 　　Dayton meal, he turned, "Sau Fan -" 　　Mother of wrinkled lips twitched convulsively, did not answer. 　　"You ...... back!" Sau Fun greet him, eyebrows emerged two fold, "Sit 　　House. " 　　Twenty years did not hear the familiar voice. Obviously, sound and her face 　　Like the old, rich, and secretly buried the sad charm. 　　...... I can not read, you do not mind it? 　　...... You ...... forever in my heart! 　　He sat down in a chair, then eagerly lit a cigarette, asked his mother: "I 　　Dad do? " 　　"The cows went." The mother said, "and everyone Song old partner kept a cow." 　　The seventy sixty-seven father, still cows, but his son's office in accordance with state regulations 　　Workers labor regulations, over a few years in relation to retire. 　　A young man came in carrying a wooden tray placed in front of him, is the hometown of bashfulness 　　Sub-surface, when the Chinese New Year holidays, weddings and funerals, farmer's breakfast is always Sào face. 　　Diced tofu, braised yellow and fungus smell of urine, that taste left in the childhood memories, 　　So far forget. After the city, did not eat these noodles can taste and mother do it 　　Far worse. He morning hurry, empty belly, that bowl of flavor, what a tease 　　His appetite to play. 　　He pinched off the smoke, grabbed red lacquered chopsticks, stirring mechanism from long noodles. This is when 　　Children, Xiu-Fen was the first step, the bowl end up from under his chopsticks. He surprised a moment, raised head, 　　She wants to punish him, revenge him? 　　"I went to take about boiling water." Sau Fan said. 　　Song Tao mind Om slamming, a full half a minute numb, like a sudden electric shock 　　General ...... 　　She and he married that summer, burning hot popular mesh mess, she gave him to play with the new 　　Well water a bowl of ice cold noodles, mix the sesame oil, sesame salt tune, he ate incense. However, 　　To Houshang, made his Duteng disease, pain kang roll. 　　Her anxious scratching their heads caught cheek, hand foot panic disorder, tears DC. 　　Mother came in, and asked: "noon meal to eat anything I do not?." 　　"Noodles." She replied nervously. 　　"He is not good from the lower abdomen, can not eat cold food. Had a cold face, go to the boiling water 　　Lane then take it. "Mother said, and did not blame mean," I forgot told you. " 　　"But he ...... Why do not you say?" She wept, blame yourself blame him, blame 　　What a sound in his mouth, deep feeling ah. 　　"He gluttonous!" Mother love watching daughter, for her liberation. Then sitting 　　Kang, extending his hand, lifted the skirt on stroking his belly rub. He was quiet and the 　　Canals of water, he picking up other people's sour apricots peaches, again depriving the time stomach ache 　　Waiting, the mother fell asleep so he was rubbing his mother that his hands ah! 　　Mother knead for a while, said she has done, he went out. 　　He and she are clear: mother to daughter in the demonstration. 　　According to her mother, seated posture on the kang, reached into his belly, gently 　　Pressing, rubbing ...... that is different from the mother of a pair of gentle hands ...... 　　...... I went to take it. 　　She also remembers that he can not eat cold rice illnesses, and he himself have forgotten even that. 　　In the Korean War the War, the harsh natural environment, that he had a workout 　　Consumers iron fossils gastrointestinal ...... but she still remember! 　　...... I went to take it! 　　Sau Fan, carrying a bowl of noodles came in, handed his hands with both hands, then turned, 　　Head down, sat on a stool next to his mother, head bowed. 　　He looked at the steaming bowl, could not hold back my heart aches, and two rows of heat 　　Tears welling, a drop in the bowl. 　　Mother's mouth twitching and trembling, crutches, a long hey boo loudly, out 　　Went to the door. 　　He raised his head, stared at him Xiufen. The house is very quiet, noisy yard laughing 　　Noises, laughter, but also bring out the small room in a quiet atmosphere. He finally endure 　　Live, Genggengyanyan said: "You ...... by ...... bitter ......" 　　She a covered my mouth, do not cry, tears never nose on both sides 　　Surge down from the back of the hand rolled, dropped on the breast of the ...... After a long silence, 　　She shakes up there, said: "It passed, and then ...... then say nothing ...... mention that 　　The! " 　　If she derided him a few words, he could get psychological balance. She did not scold, 　　No divorce, after the divorce did not, and today he and her face, she still did not. She 　　For he was too lenient, and this tolerance guilt arising from psychological, growing in the years 　　The passage of the load getting deep. 　　"I was wrong the first step, the second step the wrong parents." He finally put the plot in the heart of 　　Words come out, "Only you ......" 　　Her eyes were wrought into an awe-inspiring look and said: "Do not blame the parents, they told me 　　Which way to go ...... is that I do not want to. " 　　"Why?" He asked, "Why should you be suffering from one?" 　　"My heart ...... ...... then someone blanket does not fit ...... ......" 　　She has a covered my mouth. 　　He sat down in a chair, alas ...... slamming, speechless. And it was so! 请欣赏:  请给我换一个看看！  拜托，快把噪音停掉！我读累了，想听点音乐或者请来支歌曲！

評論 (0)