短篇小说 》 非常 Very 》
非常 Very
川端康成 Kawabata Yasunari
Very
一
当他们三个人从饭馆里出来时，原来还是白昼的大街，已是华灯初上。
新进作家吉浦先生和我们告别后，径直往下坡路走去。
今里君在来往行人中，从大钱包取出钱给了我，明天搬家要用些钱。
我们两人往上野方向走去，今里君今天情绪格外的好，身着和服外套显得更矮，肩膀要撞过来似的向我挪近。来到汤岛坡道时，突然问道：
“上回小说的主题觉得太轻松了吗？还是适合妇女杂志的吧。”
“难写吧！”
“说的是有一位妇女，二十多年来受尽丈夫的折磨，丧尽力量，她无法从丈夫手中逃脱。这时没想到丈夫得了重病，妻子这一下高兴了，巴不得他早点死去，自己就可解脱了，就可恢复往日年轻时女人具有的美貌。她梦想着，等待着。”
对此我想发点议论，因为我不久要结婚了，对婚姻充满罗曼蒂克的幻想，我只注意到一切女人所具有的那种人情魅力。
“不料妻子感染上丈夫的疾病，却先死去。”
对人生这种粗暴的描绘与审视，我感到不悦，由于对结婚的幻想使我的情感变得细致入微。
“何况这位妇女对这桩婚事没有丝毫的责任，实际上不叫结婚，而是逼婚，一个还分不清事理的小女孩被父母逼迫的，16岁就……”
“16岁！”我喃喃自语道。打算和我结婚的姑娘也是16岁呀。我一向对十六七岁以上的女人不感兴趣，而只对16岁的妙龄少女产生一种近乎病态的爱慕。但是当时16岁就成亲，在社会上极其希罕，可以说是一种破例，但我对我的破例充满幻想，尽情加以粉饰。
“16岁就结婚那是很希罕的，怎么结呢？”
“是这样的，一位新上任的知县的公子看上了一位姑娘，死乞白赖地想搞到手。姑娘的父亲当年是位旧诸侯的臣下，目前在县府当小职员。作为通俗小说来写。”
今里君就这样简单地解释了，而我却默不作声。
在上野广小路和今里君分手后，我乘车去见柴田君朋友，他住在团子板，想叫他陪我去买东西。我们买了五张冬天用的坐垫。其它诸如梳妆台、缝纫用具、女式枕头之类，都要在道子来之前准备好。
我顺便来到明天要搬进二楼住的那户人家，在门口拜托里屋的人坐垫送到之后先放在我房间里。
“北岛先生，北岛先生。”这家男主人从里面急忙喊我。
“请进来坐会儿，我妻子向你问候，想见见你。”
我推开西洋式的门扇，走进铺着草垫的房间里，初次见到他的妻子，细长的脸盘儿，宛如一种轮廓不清的苍白物悬浮在空间。一个小女孩枕在她膝上睡着，红润的小脸蛋令人赏心说目，后来她慢慢睁开眼睛望了望我，眼眶里浮现出美丽的血丝。
“这孩子每天老问，姐姐什么时候来呀，现在就嚷嚷等姐姐来后一定带她去洗澡呢。”
男主人穿着略带灰尘的棉袄，好像要梳理似的捋捋他那整洁的小胡子，客客气气地说：“太太来这里时，她父母陪她一起来吧，希望能住这里，卧具有不少。”
“不，我自己去接她来。”
“这么说你们两人一起明天来了。”
“不，明天我一个人先来这里住，四五天后才去歧阜接她。”
确实我原打算四五天内去接她的，只等着道子的信，通知我动身的日期。只要信一到就好了，道子到了东京就万事大吉了。
二
回到浅草的公寓时，看到有道子的信。我飞快地奔上二楼，这不等于道子来到东京了吗。
但是信的内容太出人意外了，把膝上的小包包扔掉后，我站起来奔出公寓，帽子还原样地戴着。来到车站附近，不见近处有车开来，只有低处的路轨佯装不知似的横躺着。
“一、二，一、二，”一边数着数，一边大步向前奔走，心急得恨不得用脚尖把地面往后面使劲登。一边走着又看了一遍信。
不管怎样要立即给歧阜的家拍个加急电极，立即向东京警察局报案，请求寻找。真糟糕忘了带她的相片，不过柴田君那里也有。现在乘坐夜间列车赶到歧阜去，能赶上末班车吗？去叫柴田来。事到如今只好去找道子的养父母，请求帮忙寻找了。
这些事情在脑海里按顺序清清楚楚地排列着，至于其它事就模糊不清了，记忆与想象交错在一起，感情与理智凝固成一团，连自己都搞不清了。
我正急匆匆地往柴四处走去，不知不觉来到上野广小路的乘车地点，就跳上了电车。
在电车上再次取出信来念。念封上印有桔梗花图案，我才不介意旁人的目光呢，什么时候寄的呢，我查了信封上的印戳。
——歧阜，十年11月7日，下午6时至8时之间。
这么说是昨晚寄的，昨晚道子在哪儿过夜？
昨晚肯定还在歧阜，那么这封信是在离家出走的途中投寄的吧？还是寄出去后又折回过家呢？
现在她在哪儿呢，今晚在哪儿过夜呢。如果昨晚在车上，她的身子还是干净的，那么是今晚了？现在九点了，这一时间道子不会安然入睡的。
非常，非常，何为非常。异乎寻常？异乎我之寻常？异乎世间寻常？
我的脑海里，“非常”这一字眼此时此刻如雨点声不断渐沥着。
下了电车后走上团子坡，又借着衣店的灯光读了一遍。
亲爱的朋友，我的郎哥：
感谢您的来信，很抱歉未能回信，您还好吗？我有一事要告
诉您，虽然曾与您有过誓言，但我遇到一件非常之事，这事无论
如何也不能向您袒露，想必您会疑惑不解，一定会要求我向您表
白，与其说出这一非常之事，不如死去更幸福。请把我忘了，当作
不在这人世了吧。下次给我来信时，我已不在歧阜，已离家出走
了，和您的○！我终生难忘，这是我最后的信了，即使寄到这寺院
来，我也不在了，我不知道我将在何方，怎样生活，我衷心祝愿您
幸福，再见了，我亲爱的朋友，我的郎哥。
这是一封16岁的女孩写的信，只念到普通小学三年级秋季的女孩，好像是模仿妇女杂志里出现的情书之类写的吧，形式上虽然有点像，但是多大程度上能表达自己的思想感情呢？“非常”，这一字眼到底包含什么意思呢，我已经能逐字逐句地背诵信的内容了。
“○！○！到底是什么意思？是什么样的代号呢？恋啦，爱啦之类的文字她应该知道的，为什么用代号呢？”
无数个圆圈忽而变大忽而变小地一直在我眼前若隐若现。
我走上旅馆那陡峭危险的楼梯时，发觉双腿颤抖着，柴田君住在这家旅馆里。
三
柴田读着道子的信，激动得肤色几乎变白。我吸了一两口卷烟后把它插进火盆里，接着又取出新的吸了一两口就插进火盆，反复插进好几根。
柴田看出了我焦虑的表情。
“是男女关系吧。”我问道。
“我也这么想，女人难以启齿的，一般都是失去贞操之类的事吧。”
“生理上的缺陷？”
“嗯，也有可能。”
“血统或遗传上的不良问题？”
“嗯，也有可能。”
“不可外扬的家丑？大人的或子女的丑事？”
“嗯，也有可能是家丑。”
“不过我想不可能是这种事。”
“道子不会上男人的当的，她很稳重，虽然还年轻。”
“也许她已不在寺院了？”
“可能还在，犹疑不决地彷徨着。”
柴田望着远处又自言自语地说：
“上回她说要来的，那时让她来了就不会发生这种事了，只怪错过机会。”
“不过——”
“所以才让这秃子摇头晃脑地溜掉了。”
——那是10月中旬左右道子寄来的信，信里说她要从歧阜出逃，给她寄些车钱去，这没问题，不过道子说要和邻居的女孩一起来，这使我不痛快。我对这女孩产生一种格外的道义责任感。两人一起来到东京，只留下道子而把她甩掉，我不忍心这样做，那女孩子说想到咖啡店工作，万一她在城市有个三长两短，我哪能不管呢。她还有父母亲，女儿离家出走他们也不会坐视不管的。不管怎样都是我的包袱，道子一个人来不会被发现的，但和她一起就会受拖累，说不定也会被带回歧阜。我真想道子一个人来的，这样可以使道子的感情专一地置于一处，我就能径直地接受它，不受外人的干扰。同时我也担心她一人出外旅行，一个女孩子情绪亢奋不稳定时，长时间独坐夜行列车去旅行，实在令人担心，所以我要亲自到歧阜去接她。她可能来不及带换洗衣服出走的，不给她捎点衣服去怪可怜的——由于这种情况，所以我不同意她和邻居女孩一起来。前些天把我的想法告诉柴田时，他却说：
“什么大不了的事，一个女人我能对付了的。”
如今我也觉得不该尽说些漂亮的空话，应该接受她来就好了。
柴田安慰我：
“看看我们周围，学生谈恋爱顺利的，十人中可以说难得有一人。而你顺利得反倒让人吃惊。一般随时随地都会遇到挫折的。”
虽说如此，但我为何也要加入到这失败的行列中去呢。
“怎么办？”
“我现在就去歧阜。”
“就这么办。”
“什么也没准备，借给我一些钢笔铅笔，还有信封信纸和包袱皮之类的，还有道子的相片。”
“毛巾和牙刷呢？”
“路上买，你身上带着钱吗？我只有一点，也许随时要用的，到今里君那里也许能借到，不过估计锁门了，而且没时间绕道去找他了。”
“我身上没有，到停车场的途中可以去找朋友借点。”
“也许是马后炮，不过还是给寺院发个电报。”
我们匆忙地离开了旅馆。初冬的晚风冷飕飕的，柴田拉开斗篷的袖子，用它披在我的肩膀，他这种热情的举止多少让我有点难为情，我们同披一件头篷走着，情绪多少稳定些了，也不气急了。
“不会是报纸登的那些离家出逃的一员？”
我突然想起后问道。
“什么，什么样的出逃？”
那是前天晚报上登的消息，标题是“未曾有过的大出逃，歧阜市男女学生共十二名集体出逃”。六名男中学生带着六名女生出逃了，又是发生在歧阜，让我有点受惊。不过没有详细报道这事，因为当时发生刺杀原敬总理大臣的消息占满了整版的报纸，而且是出逃事件发生后两三天才登的，六名女学生中最年轻的是二年级15岁的，叫美代子，连姓的念法也和道子相近，不会是报纸误刊吧？
现在总觉得和道子的那封信有点关系，不过道子是16岁，不是女学生，不大可能和那些农村中学生之流大闹集体出逃这类事的，而且这事件是四五天前发生的，道子昨晚还在歧阜——不过也许她抱有只要能离开歧阜的想法说不定也参加了这一轰动一时的逃亡队伍？后来被抓回歧阜了？最后歧阜也呆不下了，养父母家也呆不下了，再次离家出走了？难道真是这样吗？我没有力气打消这种杂念了。
来到驹达邮局门前，柴田动作麻利地拿掉斗篷摁住我的肩膀说：
“这件斗篷你就穿着去吧。”
“道子要出走留住她。”电报上只写了这几个字，没有写明发信人名字，因为让道子离家出走的是我，通知她要出走留住她的也是我。
柴田替我去借钱回来了，但没借到，朋友不在家。我们坐上电车，车上遇到学校同学，柴田马上对他说：
“喂，借点钱给我，要去旅行用的。”
但是这位同学身上也没带钱。
我戴着校帽，总觉得有些担心，在歧阜也许会做出干不光彩的事。借柴田的呢帽试戴了一下，肥肥大大的把耳朵都盖住了，只好带我的校服帽了。
“渡濑那小子带着道子去看鸬鹚捕鱼的那天夜晚，也许调戏了道子。”
“不会的，如果真发生那种事，道子就不会那么详细地介绍当晚的经过。”
不过我听了这话后，好像这位叫渡濑的法学系学生，他那苍凉的皮肤触到我的肌肤似的，禁不住打了个寒战。
“连和尚也不知会干出什么事来呢！”
经他这么一说，眼前仿佛出现他的养父，像个院政时代的那种彪形大汉的僧兵，叉开两腿站立在我面前。
“是不是道子的生身父亲写信告诉她了？当时是知道了的！”
“我也觉得有可能。”我答道。此时心里浮现出一位孤苦的勤杂工，他在北国的一所小学校里。难道是那个男人？那个男人的家庭蒙上一层阴影了？
在东京车站的候车室，我匆忙地给今里君写了封信，向他借点钱，并告诉他我托柴田君去取。
我向车窗外探了探头，似乎很有自信地说道：“道子如果没有失身，怎么也要把她接来东京，万一失身了就设法让她能回到老家和父母身边。”
“是的，就这么办吧。”
列车开动了，柴田伸过手来，我紧握了他的手。
四
在东京车站时，总觉得道子在这里；乘上车后，又觉得道子也在车上。
在新桥、品川的明亮站台上的妇女，我都—一寻找，看得眼睛直疼。
一辆错开的上行列车向前奔驶，透过它的黄色车窗，车厢的人影拖着灰色的尾巴一闪而过。我想我要随时做好准备换成对面的列车，因为有可能道子坐在对面的列车上了。
把裙衣和帽子扔到行李架上，同时也随时准备着立即取下衣帽飞出车外，我不时地望着行李架，有可能道子正好站在某一个月台上呢。
那个女孩像是道子，的确是她。不，那是不可能的，一面想着一面呆呆地看着前面五六个座位上的女人，望着她的秀发和倩影。
坐在对面的学生搭讪过来，他在东京准备了大学预科入学考试后正返回四国，看到行李架上的那顶大学帽子，似乎对我尊敬起来。
刚才低着头坐着的那位束发妇女直起了身子，露出白白的酥胸，刚才在给婴儿喂奶，看起来比道子大10岁。
我把身子蜷缩在斗篷里，在坐位上仰面入睡了。
哪些是可能发生的，哪些是不可能发生的，分不清界限了，脑海里充满了幻觉。
——白色墙壁，方形的狭窄的拘留室，苍白的道子和她的男人靠在墙上，暗淡的灯火，养父母报案后被抓到的他们两人。
——为寻找道子，我到处浪迹，波涛的声音，散发酱油味的台桌，旅途中和疲惫不堪的道子邂逅。
——痛哭失身的道子，我和道子过着柏拉图式的非夫妻关系的生活。
——啊，警笛声，被我乘坐的列车轧死的，抱着她的男人的道子。
——北国的皑皑白雪。饱经沧桑、回到父母身边的道子，跪在草席垫上，我在他们面前低下了头。
——“虽然她和你有过誓言，但是这女人是我的。”“不，懂得如何去爱她的，只有我。”但是道子却袒护这个男人，扬起双眉，高声笑我。
我想起少年时代读过的那些说书故事和冒险小说，在里面出现的创造形形色色奇迹的隐身术啦，神通力啦，还有那奇妙的魔力。
——“呀”地一声呐喊，我顿时化为烟雾飞向天空，然后在那个正在搂抱道子的男人面前一下子现出身来。
——我一声断喝，便使那个男人直挺挺地动弹不得，或者昏昏欲睡，或者遭雷劈打。
总而言之，不过——我紧闭双目，右手摁住额头，使精力凝聚在额头上，虔诚祈祷，使我的心愿越过遥远的天空，传到道子的心里，这能实现吗？真难以置信，但是为什么难以置信，坏在不去相信，只要坚信不渝，就能变为现实。
然而，人的精神之力如此脆弱，一事无成。这样一想，我的心绪也就平静下来，仿佛把自己置于渺茫的远方，心情陷入虚无缥缈的境地，逐渐困倦起来。
我又一次取出道子的信来念，放回袖口里时，腰间的钱包掉下来了。我无心挪动身子，对面的那位学生替我捡起来了，我木然地接了过来，斗篷的下摆开了，滑落到地板上，又是那位学生拾起来给我披上，好像是理所当然似的，萌生出一种撒娇的心态。他几次给我捡起来，我都没有表示谢意，是一种完全把自己托付给他的依赖心情，我身体软弱到对别人的好意无动于衷，却能心安理得的地步。
这位学生一刻不眠地守候我，我于是对他说：“我要在歧阜下，到站叫醒我。”
有时醒过来时，只看到空荡荡的站台上提着灯火走动的站务员，我蓦地站起来向窗外寻找道子。
在丰桥车站醒来时正是早上8点了。我觉察不到昨晚感情的骚动和今朝有什么联系，似乎连自己有手有脚也忘了似的变得麻木不仁，成了癖性似的一一扫视车站上走动的人们。
歧阜站到了。哎呀，停车场一派盛况，站台上的大柱都用红白两色的布裹着，天桥的上下道口也装饰着红色与白色的彩带，像一条项链似的。不会是为了迎接我这位情绪昂然的人的到来！也不会是因道子逃离这座城市所致吧。不管怎样，我有一种异常新鲜的兴奋感。
我快步走向候车室，急忙地浏览了一下报纸，人们向我投来异样的目光。到底是地方报刊，都是关于出逃的消息，男生队伍和女生队伍分别出逃，并约好地点碰面。六名女生后来在横浜被捕，六名男生好像跑到北海道去了，不过所有各报刊登的都是二年级15岁的美代子的姓名。
出了候车室，停车场的人口处立着一座拱门，望上去白匾额上写着“庆贺升级”四字，用小豆似的红字写的。
“升级？哪所学校升级了？是靠近道子住的那所寺院后面的农校吗？”
“道子的男人是这所农校的学生？城里在庆贺这所学校吗？”
然而雨水冷冰冰地扑打着这座城市，这座矮小的城市显得一片死气沉沉。
我冒雨来到一间红墙旅店。它坐落在停车场前面。
“嗳哟，是您呀！欢迎光临。”一位女佣人飞快地走来拉我进去。
“嘿，欢迎，欢迎。”她发出欢快的声音，从后面轻轻推我，一只脚踮起，一只脚直往前跑似的把我引到走廊里面。后面跟来两三位女佣人的轻轻脚步声。
我一时发愣了，不出声地随她们摆布。我跟她们不熟，9月时住过一晚，10月来这里吃过一次午餐，几乎没有和她们交谈过，更没给过钱，没有理由受到热情招待，她们哪儿来这股亲热劲呢，我真是受宠若惊。
“请在这里稍候，有一间好房间，马上去收拾一下。”
我站在那里发呆，尽是些怪事，真是莫名其妙。
正好，柴田寄来的电报汇款也刚到。
“快点去收拾一下一号房间。——是吗？可以住了？”听到最初的那位女佣人在跟另一位女佣人说话。
五
透过小庭园，从一号房间可以俯视停车场前的广场。
我透过庭院的树枝，向停车场的进口处张望。生怕道子进了车站里。
我跟佣人说马上开饭，可是差不多12点才送来。
刚吃进一口鸡蛋羹就感到恶心得要吐，我吓了一跳，虽然感到很饿，可什么也咽不下去。伺候我的不是刚才的那位女佣人。
“哪所学校升级了？”
“学校？”
“不是立了座拱门吗？在那里。”
“是停车场啊，在庆贺歧阜车站升级。”
“原来是这样，哼，我是位学生，老以为升级的就是学校。”
“是嘛。”
“听说发生一起大规模的出逃事件。”
“是吗？”
“你不知道吗？报纸都大登特登了，在歧阜发生的。”
“哎哟，有这样的事！我从来都不看报的。”
“你没听说过XX街的住在寺院的小女孩离家出走之事吗？”
“一点都不知道，叫什么寺院呢？”
“叫澄愿寺。”
“我不知道，可我们老板是一所女校的老师，等他回来问一下。”
“不必了，替我叫辆车吧。”
“是，先生。”
我老感到要吐似的，于是勒紧衣裙的带子，这样更不好受，只好又松开了。
我借了旅店的雨伞乘车出去了。
车驶出歧阜市来到郊野，看到有好多家制作名产的雨伞铺子，看样子这一带是座小镇。
车停在一间杂货店门前，里面站着一位四十来岁的妇女，好像是道子的“老师”。道子来这里学裁缝和插花。道子曾说过这位“老师”是歧阜市唯一对她好的人。我的信也是寄到这里转交给道子的。
“对不起，我是从东京来的人。”
“是嘛。”
“想打听一下澄愿寺的道子的事。”
但是这位妇女好像对我很冷淡，看都不看我一眼。送走顾客后仍让我站在庭院，自己也站立着。
“你是哪一位？”
“我叫北岛。”
“啊，是北岛先生啊！”
“承蒙您的关照了。”
“哪里，哪里。”
“我是来打听道子的。”
“道子怎么了？”
“没有发生什么事吗？”
“我没听到过什么呀。”
“她没有离开澄愿寺？”
“我好久没有去澄愿寺了，不过这事——”
“是吗，昨晚我收到封奇怪的信，信中说她要离家出走，您不知道吗？”
“如果她在这里，我不会把她藏起来的。”
不料她用了这种尖锐的口气，使我着实惊愕，我不由得往里看了一眼，用白纸糊的拉宫。其实我一点也没有盘问她的意图。
我感到疲倦，不想多说话了。
“那么，对不起告辞了，我到澄愿寺去一趟。”
上了车才发现把雨伞忘在那里，澄愿寺离这里不远，我让车子在寺院门前等着。
和里院之间没有拉窗的房间内，道子的养母一个人在做针线活儿，道子称她为“敌人”。我九月份来过一次，这回是第二次。
简单地寒暄几句后，她问道：“今天从哪儿来的？”
“刚从东京来的。”
“特地来的？”
“是的，有件事想弄明白。”
“是关于道子的事吗？”
“是的。”我急急地答道。
“最近我一直没让道子走出家门一步。”
“怎么，她在家里？”
“别看同样的年龄，东京长大的女孩和这里农村长大的女孩，如果你认为一样就大错特错了，道子完全长大了，不准她一个人出门。”
我听出她含沙射影地挖苦我，不过我暂且不予理睬。
“这一阵子她一直在家？”
“是的，连买东西也不让她去，眼睛一刻都不曾离开。”
“这么说在这里？”
“怎么了？”
“道子没发生什么？”
“她跟你说了些什么？”
“是的，所以今天一早就赶来了。”
“是吗，那么请上屋里来坐坐。”
我在坐垫上坐下来，轻轻地低下头，痛切地说道。
“有件事必须向你道歉，也必须请你帮忙。”
她默不作声。
“昨晚收到一封奇怪的信，非常担心就马上赶来了——没有发生离家出走之类的事吗？”
“我一点也不知道，道子说过这种事了？”
“噢，不是的，昨晚的电报是我打来的。”
“喔，原来是你打来的，那时觉得纳闷，道子自己一个人在这间房睡觉，是她收到的，叫她给我看看，却躲躲闪闪，叫她念念，也只是哼哼两句。她说搞不清，一点都搞不清怎么回事，就把电报撕了。”
这封电报如果让养父养母他们知道内容就不得了，更不用说道子在家时。天啊，我竟干了什么！即使是假的，不是她的真意，她在信中写着要离家出走。可我在电报竟当成真事给暴露出来了。
原来那封信是假的，不是真情，现在才多少打消了猜疑。我连做梦也没想到不是真情，结果自己从昨晚到今天却如此的张皇失措。
“真是谢谢了，让你费心了，还特地赶到这里来。”
“不，不，我应该道歉的。”
难道我在把自己当做好人，道子当做坏人了吗？
“说实在的……”
“道子自己怎么想的，我一点都不知道，由你亲自问问她好了。”
于是养母喊道：
“道子，道子。”
没有声音，我紧张起来。养母到隔壁房间去了。隔扇门拉开了。
“您好，欢迎光临。”
像金属丝那样细的声音，道子两手扶地跪着。
看到她的一刹那，我心中不禁一颤，这一瞬间不是怒，不是喜，不是爱，也不是失望。而是深深的负荆请罪感使我抽搐。
眼前的这位姑娘，哪有一点还像一个月前的道子，她的身容哪有一点还残存着花季少女的姿色？分明只是痛苦凝缩成的形骸。
脸上涂着白粉，干巴巴的没有一点人的血色，皮肤像干鱼鳞片似的皲裂着，双目呆滞，像在凝视着自己心灵深处似的。身上穿着一件褪色发白的丝光棉袄。身上哪有一点光泽。
我见到的不是我热恋着的姑娘，也不是可能背叛我的姑娘。看到道子，只是看到空虚，令人神伤。
这种面貌，并非昨天今天的痛苦造成的结构。这一个月来她给我来了十多封信，诉说每天和父母争吵不休，每天伤心流泪。对我而言是一种空想的伤感，可是对道子而言，是一种现实的痛苦。现在空想正面对着现实，我们婚约的现实。
我不明白是一种什么样的“非常”。但我明白是我们的婚约把道子摧残了。难以承受这种打击，她才写了那封信吧。
一个痛苦的化身向我逼来，僵硬地坐在火盆的对面。
When the three of them came out from the restaurant, the original or a day on the streets, is the lanterns.
We both went up field direction, especially now in a good mood today monarch, dressed in kimono jacket look shorter, like shoulder to come to me Nuejin hit. Tom came to the island ramp, suddenly asked:
"That is a woman, her husband suffered two decades of torture, ruined power, she could not escape from the hands of her husband. At this time I did not expect her husband was very ill, his wife, which look happy, and wish he would die early, and that they can be freed, young woman with a past can restore the beauty of her dreams, waiting. "
This brutal depiction of life and look, I am unhappy, because the illusion of marriage to my emotions become nuanced.
"16-year-old!" I murmured. And I intend to marry the girl is 16 years old Yeah. I have always been above the 16-year-old woman is not interested, but only for 16-year-old young girls have an almost pathological love. But then 16-year-old married, in the community is extremely rare, it can be said is an exception, but I made an exception for my fantasy, to enjoy the whitewash.
"16-year-old marriage that is very rare, and how to end it?"
"Is this, a newly appointed magistrate's son took a fancy to a girl, Siqibailai to think picking. The girl's father had a bit of the subjects as the old princes, now a clerk in the county when as popular novel to write. "
Today in the king so simple explanation, but I was silent.
Ueno Hirokoji king and today in the break, I travel to see the wood Tianjun Peng friends, he lived in dumpling board, would like him to accompany me to buy things. We bought five winter cushion. Others, such as dressing, sewing utensils, pillows and the like women, have children in the Road to be ready.
"Please come sit a while, my wife greetings to you, want to meet you."
Man of the house dust jacket slightly worn, as if to comb like caressed his neat mustache, and said politely: "My wife came here, her parents accompany her to come, hoping to stay here, lying a lot. "
"No, tomorrow I first came here to live a person, Gifu forty-five days before to pick her up."
Back to Asakusa's apartment and saw the proper way the child's letter. I quickly ran to the second floor, this does not mean Michiko to Tokyo yet.
Anyway Gifu home immediately to take a rush electrodes, immediately to the Tokyo police station to request search. Too bad she forgot to bring a photo, but there are also Shibata jun. Now take the night train arrived at Gifu go to catch the last train it? Sent for Shibata to. By now the child's adoptive parents had to go to Road to request help in finding a.
On the tram again to read out the letter. Read printed Jiegeng Hua sealed pattern, I do not mind other people's eyes do, when to send it, I checked the stamp on the envelope.
Last night certainly still Gifu, then this letter was posted away from home the right way? Or sent to then turn back over home?
My mind, "very" moment as the words continue to gradually drain the rain sound.
Thank you for your letter, I am sorry could not reply, you okay? I have to report the issue
White, not so much out of this very thing, as die happier. Please I forgot, as
, I do not in, I do not know where I will be, how to live, I sincerely wish you
"○! ○! In the end mean? What kind of code it? Love you, love friends a text she should know, why does the code do?"
Three
"Is a male-female relationships." I asked.
"Ah, there may be."
"Young outside the home can not be ugly? Adult or child scandal?"
"Man on the road when the child does not, she is very stable, although still young."
"May still, to a loss of hesitation."
Shibata looked away and said to himself:
"She said to come back on, and then let her come not happen, the blame missed opportunities."
"But -"
"So just let it slip a bald head wagging."
- It is about mid-October Michiko sent a letter from the Gifu says she fled to her car to send some money to go, no question, but said the child said to the girl and neighbors together, which makes me not happy. I am particularly girls, to produce a moral responsibility. They came to Tokyo, leaving her son and said get rid of, I do not have the heart to do so, the girl said, think of coffee shops to work if she would have happened in the city, could I not care. She also parents, her daughter ran away from home they will not sit idly by. Anyway all my baggage, Michiko one person will not be found, but would be dragged down with her, maybe will be back to Gifu. I really want a person to Michiko, so make feelings Michiko placed a specific, I can accept it straight, without the interference of outsiders. I also worried about her traveling one, a girl excited mood instability, prolonged sitting in Night Train to travel, really worried, so I went to Gifu to meet her. She may be too late to run away with a change of clothing, not to the point of her clothes to take along blame the poor - because of this situation, so I do not agree with her and a neighbor girl together. A few days ago to tell my thoughts Shibata, he said:
"What a big deal, I can deal with a woman's."
Now I have to say that should do pretty empty, it should come to accept her just fine.
Shibata comfort me:
"Look around us, the students love the smooth, rarely out of ten can be said that one person, while you have to hand, surprisingly smooth Generally anytime encounter _set_backs."
That said, why should I join the ranks of these failures go.
"How do?"
"I went to Gifu."
"It's that done."
"What did not prepare, lend me some pens pencils, and envelopes, stationery and leather like a burden, as well as Michiko's photos."
"The road to buy, you will carry with them money? Only thing I might want to use at any time, to today where there may be able to borrow to the king, but is estimated to lock the door, and it did not find time to pass him."
We hastily left the hotel. Chilly winter evening breeze, Shibata pull cape sleeves, draped it on my shoulder, how much he was such a warm demeanor make me a little embarrassed, we disclosed a head with the canopy walk, more emotionally less stable, and no shortness of breath.
"What, what kind of escape?"
Came to the horse in front of post offices, moves deftly removed Shibata cloak pressed my shoulder and said:
Shibata for me to borrow money back, but did not borrow, a friend was not at home. We boarded the tram, the car met the school students, Shibata immediately said to him:
I am wearing a school cap, always feel some fear, may be made in Gifu dry shameful thing. Shibata tried to take the hat a bit, much of the fertilizer to cover the ears, had my school uniform with a hat.
But I heard these words, if the call Watase's law student, he was desolate like skin touched my skin, could not help shivering.
"Michiko is not the biological father wrote to tell her? Was aware of it!"
I explore the probe to the car window, it seems very confident and said: "If you do not lose your virginity Michiko, how should she take to Tokyo, if you try to make a virginity that she can return home and their parents."
Four
Train up a staggered forward Ben driving through it the yellow window, dragging the gray silhouette cars flash across the tail. I think I should stand ready to replace the opposite side of the train, because there may Michiko on the train sitting opposite.
Come sit opposite students approached, he prepared a pre-university entrance examination Tokyo after being returned to the four countries, see the luggage rack of top universities that hat, I respect it seems.
What is possible, which is impossible, tell the boundaries, and my mind is full of illusion.
- Crying virginity of Michiko, Michiko and I live a non-platonic relationship between husband and wife living.
- "Although she had vowed to you, but this woman is me." "No, know how to love her, only me." But said the child was partial to this man, raised eyebrows, loud laugh at me.
- I heard Duan, then make the man could not move stiffly, or sleepy, or hit by lightning.
Again, I take out the letter to read Michiko, back cuffs in, the waist purse fell off. I inadvertently moving body, opposite the students who pick it up for me, and I took it woodenly, laid under the cloak, and slipped to the floor, picked up another student who covered me, it seems like a matter of course , the initiation of a kind of spoiled mentality. He picked up a few times to me, I did not express my gratitude, is a completely entrusted to him to rely on their own feelings, my body weak and indifferent to the kindness of others, was able to sit back and relax to the point.
The moment students are not waiting for me to sleep, I then said to him: "I want to Gifu, the arrival wake me up."
Sometimes woke up, only to see the empty station platform lights walking Zhanwu carrying member, I look out the window and stood up abruptly Michiko.
Toyohashi station in a time of 8:00 am wake up. I am not aware that the feelings of unrest last night, and at the present have any contact, it seems that even they have hands and feet but also become insensitive to forget the whole thing, the station became a proclivity glance like eleven people on the move.
Gifu Station to. Oh, the grand school parking lot, station platform with a large red and white columns are wrapped in cloth, the upper and lower bridge crossing is also decorated with red and white ribbons, like a necklace like. I am not the mood to march to meet the arrival of people! Road will not be because it caused the child to flee the city. Anyway, I have a fresh and unusual excitement.
I walked into the waiting room, glanced quickly to the newspaper, people come at me strange eyes. In the end the local newspapers, the news is about to flee, the boys team and girls team were fleeing, and arranged to meet locations. Later, six girls were arrested in Yokohama, six boys like to go to Hokkaido, but the published version are all second-year 15-year-old Miyoko name.
Out of the waiting room, parking lot entrance stands an arch, look up the white plaque with the words "celebrate the upgrade," the word, written in red with red bean-like.
"Upgrade? Which upgraded the school? Michiko to live near the temple that the agricultural school behind it?"
"Said the son of man is this agricultural school students? The city to celebrate it in the school?"
However, cold rain to flutter the name of the city, this city seems a little lifeless.
I came to a red wall hotel rain. It is located in the parking lot in front.
"Ai yo, is your it! Welcome." A maid came quickly pulled me in.
"Hey, welcome, welcome." Given her cheerful voice, gently pushing me from behind, one foot Hing Wah Street West, one foot Zhiwang Qian like brings me to run inside the corridor. Followed to twenty-three maid gently footsteps.
I am in a daze, do not say anything to them with mercy. I am not familiar with them, stayed one night in September, October, come here to eat a lunch, and they barely talked, but did not give any money, there is no reason to warm hospitality, where they share intimate strength to do this I am really flattered.
"Please wait here, there is a good room, soon to tidy up."
I stood there staring blankly, is full of some strange, really strange.
Five
I told the maid that dinner soon, but it sent almost 12 points.
"School?"
"So is the case, Well, I was a student, that the upgrade is old school."
"Really?"
"You heard of XX Street, a little girl living in the monastery things you left home?"
"I do not know, can be our boss is a girls' school teacher, so he came back to ask."
I always feel like to vomit, then tighten the strap dress, which is more painful, they had loosened.
Car parked in front of a grocery store, which stood a forty years old women, like Michiko's "teacher." Michiko here to learn sewing and flower arranging. Michiko has said that the "teacher" is the Gifu City, the only good of her people. Here is the letter I sent to the child's transfer to the road.
"If you want to inquire about the road sub-Cheng Hongwanji things."
"I called the North Island."
"Ah, ah, Mr. North Island!"
"Thanks to your care of."
"Where, where."
"I came to inquire about Michiko's."
"Michiko how?"
"What happened is not it?"
"I did not hear what ah."
"She did not leave the Temple would like to clarify?"
"I would like to clarify a long time did not go to Temple, but this thing -"
"Yeah, last night I received strange letters letter that she wanted to run away from home, you do not know?"
"If she was here, I will not hide for her."
Unexpectedly, she's such a sharp tone, so I really amazed, I could not help but glance inside, pull the white papered house. I actually did not cross-examine her intentions.
I feel tired, do not want to speak.
"Well, I'm sorry say good-bye, I would like to clarify a trip to Temple."
Got only to find the umbrella forget where Cheng is willing to Temple not far from here, I let the car waiting in front of the temple.
"Just returned from Tokyo to come."
"Michiko to do about it?"
"How, in her home?"
"This has been her home for a while?"
"How?"
"She told you what?"
"Yes, so today rushed to the scene a long time ago."
"Is it, then to sit on the house."
I sat down on the cushion, gently bowed his head, keenly said.
"One thing must apologize to you, please you must help."
She fell silent.
"Last night received a strange letter, very worried about immediately rushed to the scene - no running away from home kind of thing?"
"I do not know, Michiko said such things?"
"Oh, no, last night a telegram calling me."
"Oh, it's you calling, then feel wonder, said his son a bed in this room, she received, and told her to give me a look, but evasive, call her obsessed, just hum two, she said, not quite sure, that are not quite sure how, put the telegraph tear. "
The telegram to adoptive parents if they know the content, it's terrible, not to mention Michiko at home. God, I actually did what! Even the fake, not her real intention, she says in the letter to be away from home. Went so far as I can telegraph to the real thing exposed.
The original letter is false, not truth, now how much to dispel suspicions. I even did not dream is not the truth, the results themselves, but from last night and today so scared stricken.
"It's Thank you, bother you, specially arrived here."
"No, no, I should apologize."
Do I think of myself as a good person, said the child as a bad man do?
"Said his son how to think, I do not know, the better you ask her yourself."
No sound, I tense up. Mother went to the next room. Sliding door the door opened.
The moment to see her, I can not help but shocked, and this moment is not anger, not joy, not love, nor is disappointed. But a deep sense of abject apology makes me twitch.
I have not seen the girl I love, nor is it likely to betray my girl. Michiko to see, just see the empty, cause for grief.
I do not understand what kind of "very." But I know our marriage to Michiko ruined. Bear this blow, she wrote that letter it.
Embodiment of a painful forced me to, sitting stiffly across the brazier.
请欣赏:
请给我换一个看看！ 拜托，快把噪音停掉！我读累了，想听点音乐或者请来支歌曲！
|
|
|