短篇小说 》 牛 Cattle   》 牛 Cattle      张爱玲 Zhang Ailing


     Cattle
　　禄兴衔着旱烟管，叉着腰站在门口。雨才停，屋顶上的湿茅草亮晶晶地在滴水。地下，高高低低的黄泥潭子，汪着绿水。水心里疏疏几根狗尾草，随着水涡，轻轻摇着浅栗色的穗子。迎面吹来的风，仍然是冰凉地从鼻尖擦过，不过似乎比冬天多了一点青草香。
　　
　　禄兴在板门上磕了磕烟灰，紧了一紧束腰的带子，向牛栏走去。在那边，初晴的稀薄的太阳穿过栅栏，在泥地上匀铺着长方形的影和光，两只瘦怯怯的小黄鸡抖着粘湿的翅膀，走来走去啄食吃，牛栏里面，积灰尘的空水槽寂寞地躺着，上面铺了一层纸，晒着干菜。角落里，干草屑还存在。栅栏有一面磨擦得发白，那是从前牛吃饱了草颈项发痒时磨的。禄兴轻轻地把手放在磨坏的栅栏上，抚摸着粗糙的木头，鼻梁上一缕辛酸味慢慢向上爬，堵住了咽喉，泪水泛满了眼
　　
　　睛。
　　
　　他吃了一惊——听见背后粗重的呼吸声，当他回头去看时，不知道从什么时候起，禄兴娘子已经立在他身后，一样也在直瞪瞪望着空的牛栏，头发被风吹得稀乱，下巴颏微微发抖，泪珠在眼里乱转。他不响，她也不响，然而他们各人心里的话大家看得雪亮。瘦怯怯的小鸡在狗尾草窝里簌簌踏过，四下里静得很。太阳晒到干菜上，随风飘出一种温和的臭味。
　　
　　“到底打定主意怎样？”她兜起蓝围裙来揩眼。
　　
　　“……不怎样。”“不怎样！眼见就要立春了，家家牵了牛上田，我们的牛呢？”“明天我上三婶娘家去借，去借！”他不耐烦地将烟管托托敲着栏。“是的，说白话倒容易！三婶娘同我们本是好亲好邻的，去年人家来借几升米，你不肯，现在反过来求人，人家倒肯？”
　　
　　他的不耐烦显然是增进了，越恨她揭他这个忏悔过的痛疮，她偏要揭。说起来原该怪他自己得罪了一向好说话的三婶娘，然而她竟捉住了这个屡次作嘲讽的把柄——
　　
　　“明天找蒋天贵去！”他背过身去，表示不愿意多搭话，然而她仿佛永远不能将他的答复认为满足似的——
　　
　　“天贵娘子当众说过的，要借牛，先付租钱。”
　　
　　他垂下眼去，弯腰把小鸡捉在手中，翻来覆去验看它突出的肋骨和细瘦的腿；小鸡在他的掌心里吱吱地叫。
　　
　　“不，不！”她激动地喊着，她已经领会到他无言的暗示了。她这时似乎显得比平时更苍老一点，虽然她只是三十岁才满的人，她那棕色的柔驯的眼睛，用那种惊惶和恳求的眼色看着他，“这一趟我无论如何不答应了！天哪！先是我那牛……我那牛……活活给人牵去了，又是银簪子……又该轮到这两只小鸡了！你一个男子汉，只会打算我的东西——我问你，小鸡是谁忍冻忍饿省下钱来买的？我问你哪——”她完全失掉了自制力，把蓝布围裙蒙着脸哭起来。
　　
　　“闹着要借牛也是你，舍不得鸡也是你！”禄兴背过脸去吸烟，拈了一块干菜在手里，嗅了嗅，仍旧放在水槽上。
　　
　　“就我一人舍不得——”她从禄兴肩膀后面竭力地把脸伸过来。“你——你大气，你把房子送人也舍得！我才犯不着呢！何苦来，吃辛吃苦为人家把家握产，只落得这一句话！皇天在上头——先抢走我那牛，又是银簪子，又该轮到鸡了！依你的意思，不如拿把刀来记我身上肉一片片剁下去送人倒干净！省得下次又出新花样！”
　　
　　禄兴不做声，抬起头来望着黄泥墙头上淡淡的斜阳影子，他知道女人的话是不必认真的，不到太阳落山她就会软化起来。到底借牛是正经事——不耕田，难道活等饿死吗？这个，她虽然是女人，也懂得的。
　　
　　黄黄的月亮斜挂在茅屋烟囱口上，湿茅草照成一片清冷的白色。烟囱里正蓬蓬地冒炊烟，薰得月色迷迷□□，鸡已经关在笼里了，低低地，吱吱咯咯叫着。
　　
　　茅屋里门半开着，漏出一线桔红的油灯光，一个高大的人影站在门口把整个的门全塞满了，那是禄兴，叉着腰在吸旱烟，他在想，明天，同样的晚上，少了鸡群吱吱咯咯的叫声，该是多么寂寞的一晚啊！
　　
　　后天的早上，鸡没有叫，禄兴娘子就起身把灶上点了火，禄兴跟着也起身，吃了一顿热气蓬蓬的煨南瓜，把红布缚了两只鸡的脚，倒提在手里，兴兴头头向蒋家走去。
　　
　　黎明的天上才漏出美丽的雨过天青色，树枝才喷绿芽，露珠亮晶晶地，一碰洒人一身。树丛中露出一个个圆圆的土馒头，牵牛花缠绕着坟尖，把它那粉紫色的小喇叭直伸进暴露在黄泥外的破烂棺材里去。一个个牵了牛扛了锄头的人唱着歌经过它们。蒋家的牛是一只雄伟漂亮的黑水牛，温柔的大眼睛在两只壮健的牛角的阴影下斜瞟着陌生的禄兴，在禄兴的眼里，它是一个极尊贵的王子，值得牺牲十只鸡的，虽然它颈项上的皮被轭圈磨得稀烂。他俨然感到自己是王子的护卫统领，一种新的喜悦和骄傲充塞了他的心，使他一路上高声吹着口哨。
　　
　　到了目的地的时候，放牛的孩子负着主人的使命再三叮咛他，又立在一边监视他为牛架上犁耙，然后离开了他们。他开始赶牛了。然而，牛似乎有意开玩笑，才走了三步便身子一沉，伏在地上不肯起来，任凭他用尽了种种手段，它只在那粗牛角的阴影下狡猾地斜睨着他。太阳光热热地照在他棉袄上，使他浑身都出了汗。远处的田埂上，农人顺利地赶着牛，唱着歌，在他的焦躁的心头掠过时都带有一种讥嘲的滋味。“杂种畜牲！欺负你老子，单单欺负你老子！”他焦躁地骂，刷地抽了它一鞭子。“你——你——你杂种的畜牲，还敢欺负你老子不敢？”牛的瞳仁突然放大了，翻着眼望他，鼻孔涨大了，嘘嘘地吐着气，它那么慢慢地，威严地站了起来，使禄兴很迅速地嗅着了空气中的危机。一种剧烈的恐怖的阴影突然落到他的心头。他一斜身躲过那两只向他冲来的巨角，很快地躺下地去和身一滚，骨碌碌直滚下斜坡的田陇去。一面滚，他一面听见那涨大的牛鼻孔里咻咻的喘息声，觉得那一双狰狞的大眼睛越逼越近，越近越大——和车轮一样大，后来他觉得一阵刀刺似的剧痛，又咸又腥的血流进口腔里去——他失去了知觉，耳边似乎远远地听见牛的咻咻声和众人的喧嚷声。
　　
　　又是一个黄昏的时候，禄兴娘子披麻戴孝，送着一个两人抬的黑棺材出门。她再三把脸贴在冰凉的棺材板上，用她披散的乱发揉擦着半干的封漆。她那柔驯的战抖的棕色大眼睛里面塞满了眼泪；她低低地用打颤的声音告诉：
　　
　　“先是……先是我那牛……我那会吃会做的壮牛……活活给牵走了……银簪子……陪嫁的九成银，亮晶晶的银簪子……接着是我的鸡……还有你……还有你也给人抬去了……”她哭得打噎——她觉得她一生中遇到的可恋的东西都长了翅膀在凉润的晚风中渐渐地飞去。
　　
　　黄黄的月亮斜挂在烟囱，被炊烟薰得迷迷□□，牵牛花在乱坟堆里张开粉紫的小喇叭，狗尾草簌簌地摇着栗色的穗子。展开在禄兴娘子前面的生命就是一个漫漫的长夜——缺少了吱吱咯咯的鸡声和禄兴的高大的在灯前晃来晃去的影子的晚上，该是多么寂寞的晚上呵!
　　
　　（一九三六年）


　　Lu Xing mouth, pipe down pipe, Cha Zhaoyao at the door. The rain stopped, the roof thatch sparkling in the dripping wet. Underground, and the rough Wong Tanzi, Wang the green water. _Set_aria mind a few sparse water, with the water vortex, gently shaking light chestnut heads. Head-wind blowing, still cold from the tip of the nose grazed, but it seems a little more than winter grass incense.
　　Lu Xing knock knock on the door panel ash, a tight waist tight band, went to the cowshed. Over there, the beginning of the sun through the thin clear the fence, covered in mud uniform rectangular shadow and light, two small thin Qieqie shaking sticky yellow chicken wings, walk around pecking food, cattle bar inside, lonely, gathering dust, empty water tank lay, spread a layer of paper above, basking in the dried vegetables. Corner, there is dry grass litters. Side of the fence there was friction between white, it is used to neck itch grass fed cattle when grinding. Lu Xing gently worn hand on the fence, touched the rough wood, a ray of bitter taste on the bridge of the nose to climb slowly, blocking the throat, tears filled the eyes of the Pan-
　　Eyes.
　　He was taken aback - heard the sound of heavy breathing behind, when he was looking back, do not know since when, Lu Xing lady has _set_ behind him, as also Zhideng Deng looked at the empty cattle pens and hair dilute the wind mess, chin quivering, tears in the eyes of milling. He does not ring, she did not ring, but each of them if we see sharp mind. _Set_aria thin Qieqie chicks in the nest Susu tread, very quiet all around. To the sun dried on a gentle wind wafting the smell.
　　"In the end made up his mind what?" She scoop up blue apron to wipe eyes.
　　"... ... Not how." "No how! Saw the beginning of spring is necessary, and everyone brought the cattle on the land, our cows do?" "Tomorrow I'm on the maiden Aunt borrow, borrow!" He impatiently to smoke tube Toto knocked bar. "Yes, that vernacular down easy! Three aunt This is a good pro with our good neighbors, the last people to borrow a few liters meters, you will not, and now in turn ask for help, people willing to fall?"
　　His impatience is obviously enhanced, the more she discovers that he hated the pain of this confession had sores, she still chose to expose. Speaking of the original offended that he has always been strange to speak of the three good aunt, but she actually caught the irony of this repeatedly for the handle -
　　"Tomorrow, look for Jiang Tiangui go!" He turned backwards, that do not want more than a word, but she never seemed to like his answer that meet -
　　"Days of your lady said in public, would like to take cattle, prepaid rent money."
　　He lowered his eyes, and bending to catch the chicken in hand, over and over again looks for its prominent ribs and thin legs; chicken creak in his palm to call.
　　"No, no!" She cried excitedly, she figured he implied silent. She now seems a little hoarse than usual, though she is only just over three-year-old man tame her soft brown eyes, with the kind of panic and pleading glance at him, "This trip I am in any case no yes! God! first my my beef cattle ... ... ... ... led to the people alive, but also Yinzan child ... ... what should turn these two chicks! You a man, I only intend to something - I ask you, who bear frozen chicken to save money for hungry bear? I ask you what - "she was completely lost self-control, the blue cloth apron and a veiled woman wept.
　　"Clamor for cattle also would like to take you, is you could not bear the chicken!" Lu Xing turn away and smoking, twist a piece of dried vegetables in his hand, sniffed, still on the sink.
　　"I am a person not want to -" Lu Xing shoulder, she tried to stretch over his face. "You - you air, you are also willing to give as gifts to the house! I do not worthwhile! Why bother to eat for the people suffering around the house shook Xin production, only to end up these words! Heaven at the top - the first took away my cattle , but also Yinzan child, what should turn chicken! by what you mean, it is better to take the knife to remember me chop off a piece of meat to give it away down clean! save next time out new tricks! "
　　Lu Xing silent, looked up into the _set_ting sun light Wong shadow on the wall, he knew that if a woman is not serious, she will not soften up the sun _set_s. By cattle is a serious matter in the end - not till the fields, do not live and so starve it? This, though she is a woman, but also understood.
　　Xiegua yellow moon on the chimney in the cottage, according to the wet grass into a crisp white. Puff is to take the chimney smoke, have smoked on bedroom □ □, the chicken has been in a cage, and whispered, creak clucked.
　　Hut door was ajar, oil leakage line orange light, a tall figure standing in the doorway filled with all the doors the whole, it was Lu Xing, Cha Zhaoyao in the suction pipe down, he thought, tomorrow, the same night, less squeaky giggle chickens cry, which is how lonely a night ah!
　　The day after tomorrow morning, did not have a name, Lu Xing lady got up and ordered to fire on the stove, along with Paul Hing also got up, ate a hot meal of baked pumpkin Puff, the red cloth tied to the two chickens in the foot, put down In the hands of Jiang Xing Xing went to the head.
　　To the destination, the children bear the cattle owner's mission Zaisandingning him, then stand at the side to monitor his cattle rack rake, and then left them. He began to cattle was. However, cattle seem interested in joking, just take the three steps will be the body sank, and fell to the ground would not, despite his best all means, it is only in that the shadow of thick horn he slyly peered askance. Hot sun to shine on his jacket, so he was covered in sweat all out. Distant ridge, farmers successfully drove them, and sang, in his anxious mind with a mocking when they crossed the taste. "Hybrid animal! Bully you I, I just bully you!" He impatiently cursing, brush it and smoked it for a whip. "You - you - you hybrid beast, I can not dare to bully you?" Cow suddenly enlarged pupil, and turned over the look up to him, nose up big, boo to spitting gas, which then slowly , the dignity to stand up, so Paul Hing very quickly sniffs the air in the crisis. A sudden sharp falls the shadow of terror to his heart. That he survived two Xieshen rushed to his giant horn, and soon lay down to go and the body of a roll, rolling down the slope straight Gulu Lu Tian Long to go. Side of the roll, he heard the up side of a large cattle Xiu Xiu's nostrils the breath, and think that a pair of hideous eyes nearer, nearer the larger - and as big as the wheel, and later stabbed while he felt like a drama pain, blood and salty and fishy import cavity go - he lost consciousness, the ear seems far Xiu Xiu heard the sound of cattle and clamor of the crowd noise.
　　Another evening, Lu Xing lady Pimadaixiao, sending two men carried a black coffin to go out. She repeatedly pressed his face in cold coffin board, with her loose on the roots rub a damp seal paint. The shaking her soft brown trainer eyes filled with tears inside; she whispered with a trembling voice told:
　　"First ... ... First, my cows will eat it ... ... I will do to the strong ox pulled out alive ... ... ... ... ... ... dowry Yinzan Jiucheng child silver, shiny Yinzan is my child ... ... and then the chicken ... ... and you ... ... and you also give lift to the ... ... "she cried to play choke - she felt that her life can be encountered in all things love to grow wings in the cool of the evening breeze gradually Run fly.
　　Yellow moon Xiegua in the chimney, get smoked by the smoke drifted □ □, open purple morning glory in the Luanfen heap of small speakers, shaking Susu _Set_aria maroon heads. Lady Lu Xing start in life is in front of a long night - the lack of a creak sound of clucking chickens and Lu Xing, tall in the light dangling before the shadow of the night, how lonely the night Oh!
　　(1936)



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