言情 》 hū xī Respiratory 》
hū xī Respiratory
ān nī bǎo bèi An Nibaobei
Respiratory
He is not my friend， but he is with me
Like a shadow is with a foot that falls ……
gāng gāng zài wǎng shàng rèn shí lín de shí hòu， wǒ duì tā shuō， wǒ dān shēn， dú zì zhù zài 38 céng de yī tào gōng yù。 méi
yòu gōng zuò。 lín wèn wǒ， nà nǐ kào shénme móu shēng。 wǒ shuō， wǒ zǒng shì bù tíng dì zuò chū zū chē， xī wàng néng zài chē shàng
shí dào bié rén yí shī de hēi sè tí bāo， lǐ miàn huì yòu yī bāo yī bāo de chāo piào。 yīn wéi céng jīng yòu yī cì， wǒ zhè yàng jiǎn
dào yī bǐ qián。
lín zài nà lǐ chén mò liǎo yī huì。 tā sì hū bàn xìn bàn yí。 zhōng yú tā duì wǒ shuō， hái shì zhǎo gè gōng zuò bǐ jiào hǎo。
jí shǐ shì měi nián néng yù dào yī cì， zhè yàng de gàilǜ yě hěn xiǎo。 wǒ dú zì duì zhe diàn nǎo dà xiào qǐ lái。 tā jū
rán xiāng xìn wǒ。
yǐ jīng shì líng chén liǎng diǎn liǎo。 fáng jiān lǐ hěn yīn 'àn， zhǐ yòu xiǎn shì píng fā chū cì yǎn de liàng guāng。 wǒ tīng de shì
SUZANNEVEGA de gē。 zài gē shǒu lǐ miàn， tā xiǎn rán dī diào 'ér guò shí。 xiàng yī zhāng fā huáng de zhòu bā bā de zhǐ。
bèi xìn shǒu sī xià。 yī guàn de màn bù jīng xīn de yì yù qiāng diào， hé shén jīng zhì de mù jí tā。 wǒ jué dé tā kàn guò qù zì
sī 'ér měi lì。
wǒ wèn lín， nǐ pàng bù pàng。 lín shuō， wǒ hěn shòu。 wǒ shuō， zhè yàng hǎo， wǒ xǐ huān shòu de nán rén。 yīn wéi bǐ
jiào xìng gǎn。
zhè yàng shuō de shí hòu， wǒ yī biān bǎ yīn xiāng de yīn liàng tiáogāo。 kōng dàng dàng de fáng jiān， jì jìng xiàng màn yán de bīng liáng
de hú shuǐ。 ér wǒ shì yī tiáo wú fǎ hū xī de yú。
líng chén wǔ diǎn de shí hòu， wǒ duì lín， wǒ yào shuì jué liǎo。 kě 'ài de nán hái， zǎo 'ān。
wǒ bǎ shǔ biāo diǎn jī guān bì diàn nǎo， rán hòu cóng bīng xiāng lǐ dǎo chū yī bēi bīng shuǐ， tūn xià 'ān mián yào piàn。 diàn nǎo píng
mù yǐ jīng tíng xī， zhǐ yòu yīn xiāng fā chū duàn xiàn de zào yīn。 zài guān diào suǒ yòu kāi guān de diàn yuán yǐ hòu， wǒ de xīn lǐ tū
rán yī piàn qī hēi。
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shì shí shàng， chú liǎo shàng wǎng wǒ de què wú shì kě gān。 bái tiān wǒ yòu dà bù fēn de shí jiān zài shuì jué。 yòu shí hòu wǒ
huì kǒng jù zì jǐ zài chén nì de shuì mián lǐ miàn， tū rán biàn chéng yī jù xiàng jiāo。 méi yòu sī xiǎng。 yě méi yòu yǔ yán。
zhōu mò de shí hòu， wǒ qù xī qū de BLUE。 nà gè DISCO jiǔ bā yǐ jīng kāi liǎo hěn jiǔ， lǎo bǎn shì gè xiāng gǎng
rén。 xǐ huān qù nà lǐ， yī bù fēn shì yīn wéi xí guàn。 wǒ shì gè lǎn duò de rén， bù xǐ huān xīn dì fāng xīn péng yǒu xīn shì
wù。 jiù de gǎn jué gěi wǒ 'ān quán。 hái yòu yī bù fēn yuán yīn， shì zhè lǐ tè bié hùn luàn。 zá luàn de yīnyuè， yīng jùn de
nán rén， yě yòu dà má hé yáo tóu wán。
DISCO shì jiǔ diǎn bàn kāi chǎng， dàn wǒ bù tiào wǔ。 yòu yī cì， wǒ gēn yī gè xì huáng sè lǐng dài de nán rén wán shuǎi
tóu zǐ。 nán rén hē pí jiǔ， wǒ hē bīng shuǐ。 jiēguǒ tā shū liǎo 1000 kuài qián， nǎo xiū chéng nù， tiào qǐ lái mà wǒ。 wǒ
xiào zhe duì zhe tā shuō， nǐ bù xiǎng fù qián yě jiù suàn liǎo， dàn qǐng bì zuǐ。 dāng tā zhuǎn guò shēn qù de shí hòu， wǒ zhuā zhù tā
de lǐng dài， bǎ shèng pí jiǔ de bō lí guàn pī tóu gài liǎn dì zá zài tā de hòu nǎo shàng。
zēng hèn bié rén qīng shì wǒ。 yīn wéi wǒ yǐ jīng shēn lín qí zhōng。
shì qíng hòu lái yòu luó bāng wǒ bǎi píng。 jiǔ bā lǎo bǎn jiù shì tā de péng yǒu。
luó shuō， nǐ bù yào gěi wǒ nào shì。 wǒ kě yǐ duō gěi nǐ yī diǎn qián， nǐ píng shí guàng guàng jiē yě hǎo。
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wǒ guāng zhe jiǎo zuò zài yáng tái shàng。 yáng guāng zhào zài wǒ de liǎn shàng， ràng wǒ yùn huàn。 tiān shì zhè yàng lán。 shí jiān shì zhè
yàng màn。 zhǐ yòu liǎng jiàn shì qíng néng gòu ràng wǒ yōu yù。 pín qióng hé jì mò。 rú guǒ wǒ shǒu lǐ yòu liǎo qián， nà jiù zhǐ shèng xià
jì mò。
IcanfeelhiseyeswhenIdonotexpecthim
InthebackseatofataxidownVestryStreet……
hé lín liáo tiān cháng cháng huì ràng wǒ dà shēng dì xiào。 wǒ yǐ jīng zhī dào tā bǐ wǒ dà yī suì， xī 'ān rén， mù qián zhí yè
shì zuò ruǎn jiàn。
shì nà zhǒng dú shū shì hǎoxuéshēng， gōng zuò shì hǎo tóng zhì de lèi xíng。 tā de chún pǔ ràng wǒ kuài lè。 wǒ de kuài lè shì
yīn wéi jué dé tā yòu shí hòu xiǎn dé shǎ qì。
bǐ rú wǒ wèn tā， shì fǒu zuò guò 'ài。 tā jiù yī běn zhèng jīng dì huí dá wǒ， chú fēi shì tā shēn 'ài de nǚ hái。 fǒu
zé tā bù huì。
zhè gè huí dá yī diǎn yě bù ràng rén gǎn jué cì jī。 wǒ jiù qǔ xiào tā， nǐ yào hǎohǎo bǎo hù zì jǐ de zhēn jié， miǎn
dé hòu huǐ。
wǒ xiǎng wǒ zài wǎng shàng wéi yī yī gè liáo tiān de péng yǒu yě jiù shì lín。 wǒ bù xǐ huān xīn dì fāng xīn péng yǒu xīn shì wù。
tā kuān róng wǒ de fàng zòng hé cū lǔ。 tā yòu shí hái huì 'ǒu 'ěr biǎo shì guān xīn。 liáo tiān de shí hòu， tū rán wèn wǒ， nǐ 'è
liǎo méi yòu。 wǒ shuō méi yòu。 tā jiù shuō， wǒ xiàn zài zài chī bǐng gān。 wǒ xiǎng xiàng wǒ men liǎng gè biān chī bǐng gān biān liáo tiān de
yàng zǐ。 wǒ shuō， nà nǐ de nà fèn kěn dìng bù zhī bù jué dì jiù méi liǎo。 tā shuō， wǒ huì dū gěi nǐ。
xīn lǐ tū rán jiù wēn nuǎn yī xià。 shì shī rùn de wēn nuǎn。 hěn qīng dì shèn tòu zài xīn zàng de xuè yè lǐ。
qīng qīng de shuǐ dī。 tián de zī wèi。
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nà gè shǔ jiǎ， gāo sān de nán shēng dài wǒ qù BLUE。 wǒ dì yī cì dào zhè gè yīn 'àn 'ér xuān 'áo de jiǔ bā， wǒ tiān
xìng lǐ duì hùn luàn de shì hǎo dé dào mǎn zú。 gāng kāi chǎng de shí hòu， wǔ chí lǐ hái méi yòu rén。 wǒ yī gè rén jìn qù fēng tiào，
xián bù guò yǐn， tuō diào chèn yī， zhǐ chuānzhuó hēi sè de lěi sī wén xiōng， yòu pá dào gāo gāo de yīn xiāng shàng miàn。 fèi téng de jié
zòu ràng wǒ de shén jīng zài má bì zhōng dé dào shì fàng。 hòu lái rén yuè lái yuè duō， kǒu shào hé jiān jiào hùn chéng yī piàn， wǒ zhōng yú
quán shēn pí ruǎn。
zuò zài bā tái biān， wǒ de hū xī hái hěn jí cù。 yī gè nán rén dì liǎo yī bēi bīng shuǐ gěi wǒ， tā shuō， wǒ yī zhí
zài kàn nǐ。 bīng lěng de shuǐ cóng hóu lóng yī zhí huá luò dào xiōng kǒu， xiàng yī zhǐ shǒu， tū rán jǐn jǐn dì zhuā zhù liǎo wǒ de xīn zàng。
wú xiàn kuài lè hùn zá zhe téng tòng。
jiù zài zhè gè shùn jiān， wǒ 'ài shàng bīng shuǐ lěng liè de cì jī gǎn。 wǒ kàn zhe yīn 'àn guāng xiàn zhōng de nán rén， tā dà gài
kuài 40 suì liǎo。 tā wēi xiào de shí hòu lù chū xuě bái de yá chǐ， xiàng shòu yī yàng。 rán hòu tā de shǒu zhǐ qīng qīng dì pèng chù dào
wǒ de liǎn。 tā kàn zhe tā zhǐ jiān lǐ de tòu míng hàn zhū， tā shuō， nǐ hěn ràng wǒ dòng xīn。
nà shí wǒ 17 suì。 wǒ shēn shàng de hēi sè lěi sī wén xiōng hái shì xiàng tóng xué jiè de。 pín qióng hé jì mò yǐ jīng zhé mó liǎo
wǒ tài jiǔ。 wǒ jīhū shì méi yòu rèn hé sī suǒ dì， jiù bǎ zì jǐ fàng zài liǎo luó de shǒu xīn lǐ。
Hisarmisaroundmywaistandhepullsmedowntohim
Hewhispersthingsintomyearthatsoundsosweet……
lín shuō， kàn kàn zhè gè xǐ huān nǐ de nán rén。 tā bǎ tā de zhào piàn chuán gěi wǒ。 shì gè shòu de qīng xiù de nán rén，
liǎn shàng yòu yī zhǒng míng liàng de guāng zé。 nà zhǒng míng liàng， shì yīn wéi tā de chún pǔ。
wǒ kàn zhe tā shēn shàng de bái sè chèn yī。 wǒ xiǎng qǐ gāo zhōng shí bān shàng de yī gè nán shēng。 nà shí wǒ zài bān lǐ wú rén
lǐ cǎi。 yīn wéi wǒ suī rán chéng jì hěn hǎo， dàn xǐ huān hé gāo nián jí de nán shēng hùn zài yī qǐ， chōu yān， tiào wǔ， hē jiǔ，
dǎ jià， shénme huài shìdōu gān。 ér qiě jiā tíng fù zá。 tā shì bān cháng， tā hěn xǐ huān wǒ。 wǒ zhī dào wǒ hé tā bù shì
tóng yī gè lèi xíng de rén。 wǒ bù xiǎng ràng zì jǐ chéng wéi yī zhāng bái zhǐ shàng de hēi sè mò shuǐ。
tā hòu lái yào huí dào běi fāng qù cān jiā gāo kǎo， lín xíng qián zài wǒ jiā mén kǒu děng liǎo hěn jiǔ。 wǒ zhī dào tā zài xià miàn。
dàn wǒ bù xià qù。 nà gè yè wǎn fēng hěn dà。 qīng chén de shí hòu， wǒ páo dào tā zuó wǎn děng guò wǒ de dà wú tóng shù xià，
mǎn dì dōushì kū huáng de luò yè。
wǒ yī zhí dū jì dé nà zhǒng suì liè bān de téng tòng。 méi yòu yǎn lèi。 méi yòu shēng yīn。 zhǐ yòu téng tòng。
wǒ shì tū rán dì xiǎng qù jiàn lín。 jiù zài nà gè luó lái jiàn wǒ de yè wǎn。 luó shuō， tā míng tiān yào qù xiāng gǎng kāi huì。
dài zhe tā de lǎo pó 'ér zǐ。 dà gài yào bàn gè yuè。 wǒ shuō， hǎo 'ā， yī jiā rén kuài lè yóu xiāng gǎng。 shēn yè de shí hòu，
wǒ fǔ mō luó sōng chí de pí fū， zhōng nián nán rén de shēn tǐ yòu yī gǔ fǔ xiǔ de qì xī。 wǒ xiǎng zhè gè nán rén qí shí hé wǒ
yī diǎn guān xì yě méi yòu。 wǒ bù 'ài tā。 yī diǎn dōubù 'ài tā。
tā bù zài wǒ de líng hún lǐ miàn。
wǒ qǐ lái dǎ kāi diàn nǎo， wǒ bǎ SUZANNE de CD fàng jìn qù。 tā de shēng yīn yōng lǎn 'ér yàn juàn。
ICQ de xiǎo lǜ huā shèng kāi。 wǒ kàn dào lín de liú yán。 tā shuō， wǒ zhī dào zhè zhǒng gǎn jué bù fú hé wǒ jǐn shèn de
gè xìng。 dàn shì wǒ díquè xiǎng niàn nǐ。 zài nǐ xiāo shī de 70 duō gè xiǎo shí lǐ miàn。 jué dé zì jǐ miàn mù quán fēi。
wǒ bǎ tóu yǎng zài yǐ zǐ bèi shàng。 wǒ tīng jiàn zì jǐ jì mò de xiào shēng zài fáng jiān lǐ huí dàng。
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fēi jī piào shì wǒ zài lù guò mín háng shòu piào chù de shí hòu， shùn shǒu mǎi xià de。
jù lí qǐ fēi hái yòu 6 gè xiǎo shí。 shénme yě méi dài， shuāng shǒu kōng kōng de qù liǎo jī chǎng。 wǒ tè yì qù xǐ shǒu jiān
zhào liǎo zhào jìng zǐ。
kàn dào nà gè nián qīng de nǚ hái， jiù niú zǎi kù， nán shì de mián bù chèn yī， páo xié， yī tóu qī hēi de cháng fā，
míng móu hào chǐ。
zhēn hǎo。 wǒ de miàn jù hái shì tián měi chún jìng。 méi yòu rén zhī dào wǒ de xīn， shì zhè yàng de cāng bái hé tuí fèi， hái
cán quē bù quán。
lín bù zhī dào wǒ 17 suì jiù hé bié rén tóng jū。 bù zhī dào wǒ hùn zài jiǔ bā lǐ kuáng hē làn zuì。 bù zhī dào wǒ dǔ qián
xī dú chōu yān dǎ jià。 tā zuì duō zhī dào wǒ xǐ huān hē yī bēi bīng shuǐ cái néng shuì jué， bìng qiě kě wàng měi nián néng yòu yī cì zài
chū zū chē shàng dé dào bù yì zhī cái。
zài fēi jī shàng miàn， wǒ shuì zhe liǎo。 wǒ yòu zuò mèng。 shú xī de nà gè jiù mèng。 zài qǐ fēng de shēn yè lǐ， kàn dào
shù xià nà gè nán hái de bái chèn yī。 wǒ duǒ zài chuāng hòu kàn tā。 wǒ hěn xiǎng xià qù kàn tā。 kě shì wǒ kòng zhì zhe zì jǐ。
16 suì de shí hòu， wǒ jiù zhī dào yòu xiē fù chū bù huì yòu jié jú。 yòu xiē rén zhù dìng bù shǔ yú zì jǐ。 nà zhǒng wēn róu de
chóu chàng de xīn qíng。 nà zhǒng téng tòng。
dào xián yáng jī chǎng de shí hòu， tiān qì tū biàn。 xià qǐ dà yǔ， bìng qiě hán lěng。 zhǎo dào tā de zhù suǒ shí， wǒ yǐ
jīng quán shēn shī tòu。 wǒ zài lóu xià jiào tā de míng zì。 tā tàn chū tóu kàn de shí hòu， wǒ cái fā xiàn zì jǐ shì zhēn zhèng dì kuài
lè qǐ lái。
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dì yī gè wǎn shàng wǒ men zuò 'ài liǎo。 wǒ xiǎng hé tā zuò。 wǒ bù zhī dào zì jǐ wèishénme xiǎng。 lín de shēn tǐ mò shēng
ér wēn nuǎn。 shì nián qīng de nán rén de shēn tǐ， jiàn kāng 'ér yòu huó lì。 zhēn hǎo。 wǒ jiū chán zhe tā， xī wàng tā zài lái zài
lái， wú fǎ tíng xī。
wǒ duì tā shuō， nǐ xiàn zài yǐ jīng wú fǎ hòu huǐ liǎo， nǐ de zhēn jié yǐ bèi wǒ pò huài。
lín shuō， nà nǐ jiù yào duì wǒ fù zé， bù yào pāo qì wǒ。 tā wēi xiào zhe kàn wǒ。 tā shuō， zài wǎng shàng nǐ yī zhí
xiǎn dé
lìng lèi hé cāng sāng。 dàn shì jiàn dào nǐ， wǒ jué dé nǐ zhǐ shì gè xiǎo nǚ hái， xū yào zhào gù de， tián měi de。
zǎo shàng xǐng lái， tā qù shàng bān， wǒ zài jiā lǐ gěi tā xǐ yī fú， zuò fàn。 rán hòu zài yáng tái shàng gěi huā jiāo jiāo shuǐ，
huò zhě zuò zài nà lǐ kàn tā de zá zhì。 wǎn shàng tā huí lái， yī qǐ chī fàn， rán hòu qù sàn bù。 hěn píng jìng de shēng huó。
shuāng xiū rì de shí hòu， wǒ men qù liǎo huá shān。 zhàn zài yáng guāng càn làn de shān dǐng， wǒ kàn zhe cāng máng de shān yá， tū
rán xiǎng diào lèi。 yuán lái wǒ de shēng mìng yī zhí shì zài yīn 'àn zhōng jī xíng shèng kāi de huā duǒ。 shì jiān yòu zhè me měi hǎo de fēng jǐng。
wǒ què lún luò zài chéng shì qī hēi de yè sè lǐ。
cháng kōng zhàn dào shì huá shān zuì jīng xiǎn de yī gè jǐng diǎn。 jiǎn lòu de xiǎo mù bǎn pīn chéng wàn zhàng xuán yá wài miàn de yī tiáo zhǎi
zhǎi zhàn dào。
ruò yī bù xiǎo xīn diào xià qù， shī gǔ wú xún。 zhè kě shì bǐ bèng jí zhī lèi de wán yì cì jī duō liǎo。 méi yòu rèn hé
fáng hù， zhǐ yòu yī tiáo mìng zài shàng miàn hé sǐ wáng yóu xì。
hěn duō rén zài bàng biān kàn rè nào。 lín yě zài bàng biān shuō， liú tiáo mìng huí jiā bā， zhè zhǒng dì fāng tài wēi xiǎn。 kě shì
wǒ de xǐ huān hùn luàn cì jī de liè gēn xìng yòu kāi shǐ fā zuò。 wǒ shuō， wǒ yào qù。
lín shì tú quàn zǔ wǒ。 wǒ shuō， zǒu zǒu jiù hǎo。 kěn dìng méi shì。 wǒ lā zhù tiě liàn tiáo zhǔn bèi xià qù。 lín kàn zhe
wǒ， tā de biǎo qíng kāi shǐ biàn dé yán sù。 nà jiù yī qǐ zǒu。 tā shuō。 rán hòu yòu gēn shàng jǐ gè rén。 shì yī xiǎo duì de
rén。
nà zhǒng tiē zài xuán yá shàng de gǎn jué wú fǎ yán yù。 qiángjìng de liè fēng zài shān yá zhī jiān huí xuán。 tiān kōng， sǐ wáng，
xīn tiào， róng hé zài yī qǐ， zhěng gè rén wán quán sàng shī liǎo fènliàng。 yuán lái， yuán lái， shēng mìng kě yǐ shì zhè yàng cuì ruò de
dōng xī。 rèn hé yī gè xiǎo xiǎo de shùn jiān jiù huì yòu sàng shī de kě néng。 wǒ tīng jiàn zì jǐ fàng sì dì dà xiào qǐ lái。 tóu fā
zài fēng zhōng sì chù fēi yáng。
zǒu guò zhàn dào， shì yī gè xiǎo xiǎo de xuán yá de luò jiǎo diǎn。 nà lǐ yòu yī zūn xiǎo xiǎo de kè zài yán shí shàng de fó xiàng。
dào dá de rén kě yǐ qiān míng hé xiě xià xīn lǐ de yuàn wàng。 wǒ xiàng lái shì méi yòu yuàn wàng de rén。 wǒ wèn lín， nǐ yào bù yào
qù qiān yī gè。 lín shuō， nǐ zhī dào wǒ gāng cái wǒ xiǎng de shì shénme。
tā kàn zhe wǒ， tā shuō， wǒ tū rán míng bái sǐ wáng yě wú fǎ qū chú wǒ duì nǐ de shēn 'ài。
HishandisonmybackwhenIstepfromthesidewalk
OrwhenIamwalkingdownthesedarkenedhalls……
7 tiān yǐ hòu， wǒ huí nán fāng。 tiān xià zhe cháo shī yīn lěng de yè yǔ。 chū zū chē yī kāi shàng shú xī de jiē dào， wǒ
de xīn jiù kāi shǐ yā yì。 chē chuāng bō lí shàng de yǔ shuǐ yīháng xíng dì huá luò。 duì nà gè 38 céng shàng miàn de qī hēi jì mò de
fáng jiān， wǒ gǎn jué kǒng jù。
yī dǎ kāi mén， diàn huà jiù xiǎng liǎo。 zài cì tīng dào lín qīng lǎng de shēng yīn， yòu huǎng rán ruò mèng de mó hú。 lín shuō，
ān， wǒ xiǎng wǒ yī dìng yào qǐng qiú nǐ。 qǐng qiú nǐ lái xī 'ān shēng huó， zuò wǒ de qī zǐ。
zhè gè shēng yīn shì hé shān dǐng de càn làn yáng guāng lián xì zài yī qǐ de。 yòu wēn nuǎn 'ān dìng de jiā tíng shēng huó， yòu shēn 'ài
zì jǐ de nián qīng de nán rén。 wǒ sī háo bù huái yí tā de zhēn xīn。 tā shì zhè gè shì jì mò zuì chún pǔ chéng kěn de yī gè nán
rén。 xiàn zài jiù zài wǒ shēng mìng lǐ。
wǒ yī zhí yǐ wéi zì jǐ de shēng huó lǐ yǐ jīng méi yòu rèn hé jī huì。
wǒ shuō， kě yǐ má。
tā shuō， kě yǐ。 nǐ guò lái zhǎo fèn gōng zuò， wǒ men zài yī qǐ。 píng jìng dì kuài lè dì shēng huó。
wǒ hún shēn fā lěng， yǔ shuǐ shùn zhe fā sī yī dī yī dī dì dǎ zài liǎn shàng。 wǒ tīng dào lín duì wǒ qiú hūn。
※※※
zài cì huí dào jì mò de 'àn wú tiān rì de shēng huó， jiǎn zhí nán yǐ rěn shòu。
kě shì wǒ kòng zhì zhe zì jǐ。 wǒ qiǎngpò zì jǐ qù xiǎng yī xiē xiàn shí de wèn tí。 bǐ rú lín shì zuò ruǎn jiàn de， tā
yě xǔ yǒng yuǎn dū fā bù liǎo cái， ér wǒ yǐ jīng xí guàn zài wú liáo de xià wǔ qù guàng jiē， yī chū shǒu jiù huì yòng 800 duō kuài
mǎi píng xiāng shuǐ。 lín bù huì xiǎng dào wǒ de shēng huó shì zhè yàng háo wú jié zhì。 wǒ cóng 17 suì kāi shǐ guò luó tí gōngjǐ wǒ de shēng
huó。 yīn 'àn， shē mí， fàng zòng bù jī。
wǒ de shēn shàng， xīn shàng dōushì fǔ làn de cán hén。
wǒ de pí qì kāi shǐ bào zào qǐ lái。 yīn wéi duì zì jǐ de wèi lái wú fǎ bǎ wò hé yù gǎn。 zài shēn yè de diàn huà lǐ，
duì lín yǔ wú lún cì。 wǒ shuō， wǒ yě xǔ gēn běn jiù zhǎo bù dào gōng zuò。 wǒ yī zhí méi yòu chū qù zuò guò shì qíng。 wǒ shí
me yě bù huì zuò。 wǒ yě bù zhī dào rú hé
yǔ rén xiāng chù。 wǒ gēn běn jiù yǐ jīng shì gè fèi wù。
lín gǔ lì wǒ， dàn shì 'ān， nǐ shì gè cōng míng tī tòu de nǚ hái， nǐ yào xiāng xìn zì jǐ。
wǒ shuō， wǒ bù liǎo jiě nǐ。 wǒ bù xiāng xìn nán rén。 rú guǒ nǐ yǐ hòu duì wǒ bù hǎo， wǒ shì bù shì yào yī wú suǒ
yòu dì huí lái？
lín zài nà duān qīng qīng dì tàn xī， ān， bù yào zài shāng hài nǐ zì jǐ de tóng shí zài shāng hài bié rén liǎo。 hǎo bù hǎo。
hǎo bù hǎo？ hǎo bù hǎo？ hǎo bù hǎo？
※※※
luó huí lái de shí hòu， wǒ jù jué tā pèng dào wǒ de shēn tǐ。 zhè me duō nián liǎo。 zhè shì dì yī cì。
luó sì hū yòu suǒ yì shí， tā shuō， nǐ yòu shénme jué dìng má。
wǒ shuō， wǒ yào zǒu liǎo。 wǒ bù xiǎng zài zài zhè gè chéng shì lǐ miàn。 bù xiǎng zài hé nǐ zài yī qǐ。
luó qīng qīng dì xiào， yào yuǎn zǒu gāo fēi， kāi shǐ xīn shēng huó liǎo？ tā de yǎn jīng wēi wēi dì mī qǐ lái， zhè shǐ tā de
yǎn shén tū rán xiǎn dé ruì lì hé xiōng 'è。 tā shuō， wèishénme nǐ zhǎngdà yǐ hòu què huì biàn dé yú chǔn。
wǒ gǎn jué zì jǐ de gǔ tóu fā chū gē gē de shēng yīn。 wǒ zēng hèn bié rén qīng shì wǒ， yīn wéi wǒ yǐ jīng shēn lín qí zhōng。
wǒ lěng mò dì kàn zhe tā， wǒ shuō， wǒ shénme dōng xī yě bù dài zǒu。 wǒ zhǐ yào lí kāi。
luó yī bǎ wò zhù wǒ de shǒu bì， tā shuō， bǎ nǐ cóng shí qī suì kāi shǐ huā diào de qián dū hái gěi wǒ， tā yīn wéi qì
fèn 'ér wú cuò。 wǒ hěn hěn dì tuī kāi liǎo tā。 wǒ shuō， nà nǐ jiù xiān bǎ wǒ cóng shí qī suì kāi shǐ bèi nǐ zhàn yòu de shí guāng
hái gěi wǒ。
Heisathinman， withadateforme
Toarriveatsomepoint， Idonotknowwhenitwillbe……
yǔ xià dé hǎo dà。 wǒ páo guò kuān kuò de dà jiē， bù gù hóng lǜ dēng， fēi kuài dì bēn páo。 qì chē de shāchē shēng hé
fèn nù de zhòu mà shēng jiāo zhì chéng yī piàn。 dàn shì wǒ yǐ jīng shénme dū tīng bù dào， yě shénme yě kàn bù dào。
wǒ zhǐ xiǎng gěi qiān lǐ zhī wài de lín dǎ diàn huà。 wǒ yào gào sù tā， wǒ kě yǐ wèitā fàng qì suǒ yòu， wǒ kě yǐ zì
yóu， wǒ kě yǐ qù xī 'ān， wǒ kě yǐ jià gěi tā。
wǒ gǎn jué zì jǐ de xīn zàng hé xuè yè jī liè dì tiào dòng。 chōng mǎn liǎo huó lì hé jī qíng。
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yī zhí páo dào xī qū fù jìn， cái zhǎo dào yī gè gōng yòng diàn huà tíng。 wǒ bǎ kǎ sài jìn qù， shǒu yīn wéi bīng lěng 'ér jiāng。
diàn huà shì cháng yīn， dàn méi yòu rén jiē。 wǒ tīng líng shēng xiǎng liǎo hěn jiǔ， zhōng yú duàn diào。 wǒ xiǎng lín wèishénme hái méi
huí jiā ní， xiàn zài yǐ jīng wǎn shàng 9 diǎn liǎo。 yě xǔ tā zài jiā bān。 lín duì wǒ shuō guò， tā yòu zhǎo liǎo yī fèn jiān zhí。
tā xiǎng wèiwǒ de dào lái duō zuàn yī diǎn qián。
wǒ kào zài bō lí shàng děng dài。 zhěng gè chéng shì bèi yānmò zài cāng máng de dà yǔ lǐ miàn。 hǎo xiàng yī zhǐ kōng dòng de róng qì，
piào fú zài hēi 'àn de hǎi miàn shàng。 wǒ de qún zǐ bīng liáng dì tiē zài shēn shàng， zhǐ yào fēng yī chuī guò， jiù dòng dé wǒ hún shēn fā
dǒu。 kě shì yī qiēdōu huì hǎo de。 wǒ xiǎng。 yě xǔ míng tiān wǒ jiù kě yǐ chū xiàn zài xī 'ān。 nà gè gǔ lǎo de chén jìng de
chéng shì。 gāo dà de zhōng lóu zài mù sè zhōng zǒng shì yòu yī qún yè niǎo fēi xuán。 bēi lín fù jìn de shí bǎn xiǎo jiē mí sàn zhe shū mò
qīng xiāng。 lín qiān zhe wǒ de shǒu zài nà lǐ sàn bù。
zhè shì wǒ yào de， píng dàn míng liàng de shēng huó。 jiǎn dān pǔ sù， què wēn nuǎn。 lín qīng qīng dì fǔ guò lái， qīn wěn wǒ
de liǎn。 zài měi yī gè tā 'ài zhe wǒ de shí kè。 wǒ shì yī gè duō me hài pà jì mò de rén。 wǒ céng jīng duō me jì mò。
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rán hòu yòu 3 gè nán rén kào jìn liǎo wǒ。 wǒ kàn bù qīng chǔ tā men de liǎn。 zhǐ kàn dào zhàn zài zuì qián miàn de nà gè zhā
zhe yī tiáo cì yǎn de huáng sè lǐng dài。 tā shuō， nǐ zhōng yú chū xiàn liǎo。 tā húnzhuó de jiǔ qì pēn zài wǒ de liǎn shàng。 zài wǒ
hái lái bù jí huí yì qǐ tā de shēn fèn de shí hòu， yī bǎ bīng lěng de fēng lì de yìng qì zhā rù wǒ róu ruǎn de fù bù。 rán hòu
shēn tǐ lǐ tū rán jiù bèi yī zhǒng wēn nuǎn de jī liú suǒ chōng yì。 yì cháng shū shì hé kuài gǎn。 wǒ tái qǐ shǒu tuī kāi tā jǐn tiē zhe
wǒ de shēn tǐ， wǒ kàn dào tā de huáng sè lǐng dài shàng miàn tú mǎn xīng hóng de yè tǐ。
nán rén yīhòng 'ér shǎn。 suǒ yòu de shùn jiān zhǐ bù guò duǎn duǎn sān fēn zhōng。
wǒ bǎ shǒu wǔ zài shāng kǒu shàng。 nà lǐ bù duàn yòu wēn nuǎn chóu nì de xuè yè pēn yǒng chū lái。 wǒ de kǎ hái sài zài diàn huà
jī lǐ miàn。 wǒ xiǎng wǒ yīnggāi kě yǐ jì xù gěi lín bō hào。 kě shì wǒ de shēn tǐ què shùn zhe bō lí màn màn dì huá xià qù huá
xià qù。 nà zhǒng zhú jiàn sàng shī fènliàng de gǎn jué， jiù hǎo xiàng wǒ zài xuán yá de liè fēng zhōng xíng zǒu yī yàng。
lín wèn wǒ， nǐ zhī dào gāng cái wǒ xiǎng de shì shénme。
He is not my friend, but he is with me
Like a shadow is with a foot that falls ... ...
Lin had just met online, I said to him, I am single, living alone in an apartment 38 floors. No
Have a job. Lin asked me, you do for a living. I said, I always stop to take a taxi, hoping in the car
Others picked up the missing black bag, which will have a pack a bag of money. Because there was one, I am picking
To a sum of money.
Where the silent forest. He seemed skeptical. Finally he said to me, or find a job better.
Even if they could meet once a year, so the probability is very small. I laughed alone in front of the computer. He ranks
However, believe me.
Already two in the morning. The room was dark, and only issued a dazzling light display. I heard that
SUZANN EVEGA song. Inside the singer, she is clearly a low-key and out of date. Like a crumpled piece of yellow paper.
Was Xinshou tear. A casual long-standing depression, slow tone, and nervous wood guitar. I think she looked over from the
Private and beautiful.
I asked the forest, you are not fat fat. Lin said that, I'm thin. I said, so good, I like the thin man. Because more than
More sexy.
Say, I raised the volume of the side of the speaker. Empty room, Silence like a stretch of cold
The lake. I was a fish can not breathe.
Five o'clock, I was the forest, I want to sleep. Cute boy, good morning.
I turn off the computer mouse click, and then poured a glass of ice water from the refrigerator, to swallow sleeping pills. Computer screen
Curtain has been stopped, only the speaker issued a disconnection of the noise. Turn off all power switches in the future, my heart suddenly
However, darkness.
※ ※ ※
In fact, in addition to the Internet I really do nothing. I have most of the time during the day in bed. Sometimes I
Fear his addiction will sleep in there, suddenly turned into a rubber. No thinking. There is no language.
Weekend, I went to West BLUE. DISCO bars that have opened for a long time, the boss is a Hong Kong
People. Like to go there, in part because of habit. I am a lazy person, not like the new place new friends new thing
Material. Give me the old feeling of security. Part of the reason there is confusion here in particular. Messy music, handsome
Man, cannabis and ecstasy.
DISCO opening half past nine, but I do not dance. Once I tie with a yellow line to play the man dumped
Dice. Men drink beer, I ice water. Result, he lost 1,000 dollars, furious, jumping up and scolded me. I
Smile at him that you do not want to pay no problem, but please shut up. When he turned, I grabbed him
Tie, the Sheng beer glass jar about face smashing his head on.
I hate the contempt of others. I have see for himself.
Later, Luo things to help me _set_tle. Bar owner was his friend.
Luo said, you do not give me trouble. I can give you a little money, you usually walk on the streets 也好.
※ ※ ※
I sat barefoot on the balcony. Sunshine on my face, let me dizzy. The sky is so blue. Time is It
Kind of slow. Only two things can make me depressed. Poverty and loneliness. If I get enough money, it only
Lonely.
I can feel his eyes when I do not expect him
In the back seat of a taxi down Vestry Street ... ...
And Lin chat often will I laugh out loud. I already know him a year older than me, Xi'an, the professional
Do software.
Is the kind of reading is a good student, the type of work is good comrades. His simplicity makes me happy. My happiness is
Because I think he sometimes seems silly.
For example, I asked him if he did love. He answered me solemnly, unless the girl he loved. No
Then he will not.
This answer is not people feel stimulation. I make fun of him, you have to take good care of their chastity, free
May regret it.
I think I only chat with online friends is the forest. I do not like new things, new friends and new places.
His tolerance of my indulgence and rude. Occasionally, he sometimes expressed concern. Chatting, I suddenly asked me, are you hungry
Was not. I said no. He said, I'm eating cookies. I imagine the two of us eating biscuits while chatting in the
Look. I say, that you share certain unknowingly gone. He said, I will give you.
Heart suddenly warm it. Is warm and moist. Very light to penetrate the blood in the heart.
The clear water droplets. Sweet taste.
※ ※ ※
That summer, the high school senior boys take me to the BLUE. I first went to the dark and noisy bar, I-day
Hobby in the chaos of being met. Just-field when the dance floor no one. I am a man go crazy dancing
Not too fun, take off shirt, wearing only a black lace bra, and climbed high above the speaker. Boiling section
I played in the paralysis of the nerve to be released. Later, more than a hybrid piece of whistles and screaming, I finally
Systemic weakness.
Sitting at the bar, my breathing is still rapid. A man handed me a glass of ice water, he said, I have been
Looking at you. Cold water has been dropped from the throat to the chest, like a hand suddenly gripping my heart.
Lots of joy mixed with pain.
At this moment, I fell in love with the cold ice water excitement. I looked at the dark light of man, he probably
Nearly 40 years old. His smile showing white teeth, like beasts. Then his fingers gently touch
My face. He looked at his fingertips in the transparent beads of sweat, he said, you are tempting me.
I was 17 years old. Black lace bra me or to the students borrowed. Poverty and loneliness have been tortured
I am too long. I almost do not have any hesitation, put his hand on the Law of the heart.
His arm is around my waist and he pulls me down to him
He whispers things into my ear that sound so sweet ... ...
Lin said that, look at this like your man. He put his picture to me. Is a thin handsome man
There is a bright shiny face. The kind of bright, because he's honest.
I looked at him a white shirt. I remember a boy in high school class. I was no one in the class
Ignored. Although I did very well, but like to mix high-grade boys, smoking, dancing, drinking,
Fight, a bad thing and all. And the family complex. He is a squad leader, he liked me. I know I and he was not
The same type of person. I do not want to own a piece of black ink on white paper.
He was later to return to the north to attend college entrance examination, before his departure gate at my house for a long time. I knew he was below.
But I do not go on. Windy night. Early in the morning, I went last night and so he had my big parasol tree
Yellow leaves all over the floor.
I always remember the kind of fragmentation-like pain. No tears. No sound. Only pain.
I suddenly wanted to see the forest. Romania to come to see me in that night. Luo said he was going to Hong Kong tomorrow to meet.
With his wife and son. Probably half a month. I said, yes, happy family trip to Hong Kong. Late at night when
Luo loose skin I touch, middle-aged man's body has an air of decay. In fact, I think this man and I
Has nothing to do. I do not love him. That do not love him.
He is not my soul inside.
I got up to open the computer, I put the CD into it SUZANNE. Her voice was lazy and tired.
ICQ small green flowers in full bloom. I see the forest message. He said, I know the feeling does not meet my cautious
Personality. But I really miss you. You disappear in more than 70 hours inside. Feel completely different.
I put my head back in the chair Yang. I hear my lonely room echoed with laughter.
※ ※ ※
I walked through the air ticket when the ticket office, easily bought.
There are six hours away from take-off. Nothing with his hands empty to the airport. I deliberately go to the bathroom
The mirror.
Saw the young girl, old jeans, men's cotton shirts, running shoes, a dark long hair,
Bright eyes white teeth.
Good. My mask was pure sweetness. No one knows my heart, is so pale and decadent, but also
Incomplete.
Im not sure I am 17 years old and people living together. I do not know Kuanghe abuse mixed in with the bar drunk. I do not know for money
Smoking fight drug abuse. He most like to drink a glass of ice water that I can sleep, and eager to have once in a year
Taxis get ill-gotten gains.
Above the plane, I fell asleep. I was dreaming. Familiar with that dream. In the windy night, to see
The boy's white shirt under the tree. After hiding in the window I see him. I want to go see him. But I controlled myself.
16 years old, I know that some will not have to pay ending. Some people are destined not his own. The kind of gentle
Melancholy mood. The kind of pain.
Xianyang airport, sudden change in weather. Under the heavy rain and cold. To find his house, I have
After wet. I called his name downstairs. He stuck his head out to see, I found that he is really fast
Music together.
※ ※ ※
The first night we had sex. I want him to do. I do not know why you want to. The body of a strange forest
And warm. The young man's body, a healthy and active. Good. I struggle with him, hope he come back again
Years, unable to stop.
I said to him, you can not regret now, I'm your virginity has been destroyed.
Lin said that, then you should be responsible to me, do not abandon me. He smiled at me. He said you have been online
Seem
Alternative and the vicissitudes of life. But to see you, I think you're just a little girl, in need of care, and sweet.
Woke up this morning, he went to work, I am at home to his laundry, cooking. And then watering the flowers on the balcony,
Or sitting there watching his magazine. Night he came back to dinner, and then went for a walk. Very quiet life.
Weekend, we went to the Mountain. Standing on top of sunshine, I looked at the vast and treacherous, sudden
However, like tears. My life had been deformed in the dark flowers in full bloom. The world has such a beautiful scenery.
I have reduced the dark of the night in the city.
Sky path along the cliff is one of the most breathtaking sights of Huashan. Pallet planks out of a narrow cliff
Narrow path along the cliff.
If you accidentally fall off, no bones to find. This is more than stuff like bungee jumping more exciting. No
Protection, only one life and death in the above games.
Many people in the next to watch. Lin also said next, leaving Mania go home, this place is too dangerous. But
I like the chaos of evil and the on_set_ of stimulation. I said, I'm going.
Lin tried to dissuade me. I say, walk like. Certainly all right. I am ready to pull down iron chains. Lin looked at
Me, his expression became serious. Then go. He said. Then keep a few people. A squad
People.
The kind of feeling attached to the cliff can not put into words. Gale strong swing between the cliff. Sky, death,
Heartbeat, together, the people who have lost weight. The original, original, life is so fragile
Things. Any moment there will be a small loss may be. I heard their unbridled laughter. Hair
Flying around in the wind.
Walk along the cliff, the end result is a small cliff. There are a small Buddha carved in rock.
People can sign up and reach the heart of the desire to write. I have always been people who do not desire. I asked the forest, you have to do
To sign one. Lin said, you know I have what I thought.
He looked at me, he said, I suddenly knew death could not get rid of love I have for you.
His hand is on my back when I step from the sidewalk
Or when I am walking down these darkened halls ... ...
7 days later, I return to the South. World damp cold night rain. A taxi drove the familiar streets, I
Heart began to suppress. Rain on the window glass slide line by line. 38 of the top layer of dark and lonely
Room, I felt fear.
Opened the door, the phone rang. Lin once again heard the voice of cool and bright, if the dream has suddenly blurred. Lin said,
Ann, I think I have to ask you. Ask you to Xi'an life, be my wife.
The sound is bright sunshine and the Peak linked. A warm and stable family life, with love
Their young men. I have no doubt his sincerity. He is the most honest and sincere in this century, a man
People. Now in my life.
I always thought my life had no chance.
I said okay.
He said he could. You come get a job with us. Live happily in peace.
I felt cold, rain drop by drop to play down the hair on the face. I heard the forest for me to marry him.
※ ※ ※
Back dark lonely life is simply unbearable.
But I controlled myself. I forced myself to think of some practical problems. Such as the forest is a software, he
May never be rich, but I'm used to go shopping in the afternoon of boredom, one shot will be used more than 800 pieces
Buy a bottle of perfume. Lin does not think my life is so unchecked. I started over 17 years of my life Zloty supply
Live. Dark, extravagance, indulgence uninhibited.
My body, heart is rotten scar.
It began to temper my temper. Because they are unable to grasp and foreboding future. The phone late at night,
The forest incoherent. I said, I probably could not find work. I have not done something out. I even
Why not do it. I do not know how
With people. I did have was a waste.
Lin encouraged me, but Ann, you're a smart girl-clear, you have to believe in themselves.
I said, I do not understand you. I do not believe man. If you are not good for me since I was not trying to do nothing
Have to come back?
Sigh at the end of the line gently Lin, Ann, do not hurt yourself at the same time to hurt someone else. Good or bad.
OK? OK? OK?
※ ※ ※
Romania came back, I refused he touched my body. So many years. This is the first time.
Law seems to be conscious, he said, what decisions do you have.
I said, I'm leaving. I do not want in this city inside. Do not want to be with you.
Lo smiled lightly, to fly away, start a new life? His eyes narrowed slightly, which makes his
Eyes suddenly seemed sharp and vicious. He said, why did you grow up it will become stupid.
I felt my bones gurgling sound. I hate people despise me, because I have see for himself.
I looked at him coldly, and I said, I do not take anything. I want to leave.
Luo, wrapped my arm, he said, you start from the age of seventeen I spent the money back, he because the gas
Anger flawless. I pushed him mercilessly. I said, you're seventeen, I first began to be occupied your time
Back to me.
He is a thin man, with a date for me
To arrive at some point, I do not know when it will be ... ...
Well big rain. I ran across the wide street, regardless of traffic lights, fast to run. The sound of car brakes
Angry cursing jostling. But I do not hear anything, also do not see anything.
I just wanted to call the forest thousands of miles away. I want to tell him that I could give up all for him, I can self-
By, I can go to Xi'an, I can marry him.
I felt my heart beating and blood heated. Full of vitality and passion.
※ ※ ※
West has been run around to find a public phone booth. I jammed into the hands because of cold and stiff.
Phone is a long tone, but no one answered. I heard the bell rang for a long time, and finally broken. Why did not I think Lin
Go home, now a 21:00. Maybe he was working overtime. Lin told me that he was looking for a part-time.
He wanted to earn a little money of my arrival.
I leaned against the glass waiting. The whole city was submerged in the vast rain inside. Like an empty container,
Floating in the dark sea. Cold in my skirt attached to the body, as long as the wind blows over, I felt fat on the cold
Shaking. But everything will be OK. I think. Maybe tomorrow I can appear in Xi'an. That quiet old
City. Tall clock tower in the twilight there is always a group of nocturnal spinner. Forest of Stone Tablets pervaded the book near the Mexican stone street
Fragrance. Lin there holding my hand walking.
This is what I want, plain and bright life. Simple and plain, but warm. Overlooking the forest over gently and kiss me
Face. He loved me in every moment. How scared I am a lonely person. I have been lonely.
※ ※ ※
Then there are three men close to me. I can not see their faces. Standing in front only to see that bar
With a dazzling yellow tie. He said, you finally appeared. Turbidity of the alcohol he sprayed in my face. I
Had a chance to recall his identity, when a sharp cold hard devices tie into my soft belly. Then
Suddenly the body was filled by a stream of warm. Exceptional comfort and pleasure. I reached up and pushed him close to
My body, I saw his yellow tie, scarlet painted above the liquid.
Coax the flash of a man. All the moments that only a short three minutes.
I Shou Wu in the wound. Where there have been warm and tired of the blood spewing out thick. I also plug in the phone card
Machine inside. I think I should be able to continue to give Lam dial. But my body is slowly slide down along the glass slide
Down. Gradual loss of weight that feeling as if I am walking in the cliff, like a gale.
Lin asked me, you know just what I thought.
请欣赏:
请给我换一个看看！ 拜托，快把噪音停掉！我读累了，想听点音乐或者请来支歌曲！
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