短篇小说 》 秋 Autumn 》
秋 Autumn
蒲宁 Ivan Bunin
Autumn 1
客厅里一瞬间安静了下来,她乘机站起身,同时朝我瞟了一眼。
“噢,我该告辞了,”她轻轻叹了口气说,我的心顿时为之一颤,我预感到某种巨大的欢乐已在等待我,我和她终将成就那桩秘事。
整个晚上,我寸步不离地守在她的左右;整个晚上,我都在她双眸中捕捉隐秘的闪光、心不在焉的神情,以及虽然只是隐隐约约流露出来,却比前更强烈的温情。此刻她在讲“我该告辞了”的时候,那语气像是表示遗憾,可我却听出了弦外之音:她料定我会随她一起走。
“您也走吗?”她问道,可口气却几乎是肯定的。“这么说,您可以送我回去罗?”她随口加补说,可是已经有点情不自禁,竟回过头来朝我嫣然一笑。
她的身姿绰约、柔美,她的手以一种轻盈而娴熟的动作提起黑色的长裙。她刚才那个微笑,她的如花初放的优美的脸,她的乌黑的明眸的秀发,甚至她颈项上那条细巧的珍珠项链,以及那对钻石耳坠的闪光,都流露出一个初次坠入情网的少女的羞涩。当人们纷纷请她转达对她丈夫的问候,以及后来在走廊上替她穿大衣的时候,我一直提心吊胆,唯恐有什么人要和我们同行。
但我过虑了,没有人来干扰我们。我们走到门口,门打了开来,一道灯光迅即投到黑洞洞的院子里,随即门又轻轻关上。我激动得浑身打战,但我竭力加以克制,只觉得遍体上下飘飘然的,我挽住她的手臂,殷勤备至地扶她步下台阶。
“您看得见吗?”她一边注视着脚下,一边问道。
她的声音里又一次透露出那种给我以鼓励的柔情蜜意。
我踩着水洼和满地的落叶,搀扶着她摸黑穿过院子,两旁是光秃秃的相思树和盐肤树,它们好似海轮上的缆索,被十一月的南方之夜的湿润的劲风,吹得发出呜呜的喧声。
在栅栏形的院门外,停着一辆马车,车灯燃得亮亮的。我瞥了一眼她的脸。她没有回看我,伸出一双纤小的、由于戴着手套而显狭长的手,抓住院门的铁杆,没等我上去帮她,就把门朝里拉开了一半,快步走到马车跟前,坐了进去,我也同样迅速地上车,在她身旁坐了下来……
2
我们俩很久说不出一句话。近一个月来,我们魂牵梦萦的那件事,现在已无须用语言来表达,我们之所以一声不吱,只不过是因为这事已不言而喻,说出来反倒显得突几、生疏了。我把她的一只手按到我的唇上,顿时激动得难以自持,便赶紧掉过头去,目不转睛地遥望着朝我们迎面奔来的街道昏暗的尽头。我对她还存有戒心,而她呢,在我问她冷不冷的时候,只是翕动着嘴唇,乏乏地笑了笑,没有力气回答,于是我明白了,她也对我存有戒心,我握住了她的手,她感激地紧紧回握着。
南风把街心花园中的树木吹得萧瑟作响,把十字路口疏疏落落几盏煤气灯的火焰吹得摇曳不定,把早已打烊了的商店门上的招牌吹得叽叽嘎嘎闹个不停。偶尔可以看到一个路人猫着腰向某家小酒店走去。在小酒店那盏摇摇晃晃的大门灯的灯光下,路人和他那飘忽不定的影子变得越来越大,但转眼问路灯就落在我们后面去了,于是街上又空无一人,只有湿润的风柔和地、不停地吹拂着我们的脸。泥水在车轮下四散进溅,她似乎在饶有兴味地观赏着这些水珠。我不时朝她垂下的睫毛和帽子下边那垂倒着的头部的侧影瞥去,感觉到她整个人正紧紧地依傍着我,以致都可以闻到她发丝上的幽香。这时,岂但这幽香,连围在她颈项上的那张光滑柔软的韶皮也使我心荡神驰……
后来,我们的马车拐到一条闻无一人的宽阔的马路上,这条马路似乎长得没有尽头,两旁林立着犹太人开的古老的店铺和菜场,可突然,马路在我们身下中断了。马车朝另一条街拐去,冷不防颠晃了一下,她的身子朝前一冲,我连忙把她抱住。有好一会儿,她直视着前方,后来,朝我掉过头来。我们脸对着脸,原先她双眸中的畏惧和犹疑已荡然无存,只有她那神情紧张的微笑透露出一丝羞涩。此情此景,使我忘乎所以,我把嘴紧紧地贴到了她的双唇上……
3
道旁架电报线的高耸的电线木杆接二连三地在夜色中闪过,最后连电线木杆也消失了,它们在半路上拐到一边,就此不见影踪。城里的天空虽说是黑沉沉的,但在那里毕竟还是可以把天空和灯光昏暗的街道区别开来,可是在这里,天地已浑然连成一体,周遭无处不是萧瑟的秋风和茫茫的黑暗。我回头望去,城市的灯火也消失了,仿佛沉入了漆黑的海洋之中,而在前方,闪烁着一星昏黄如豆的灯火,显得那么孤独,那么遥远,似乎是在天涯之外。其实这是摩尔达维亚人在大路旁开了多年的一家酒店的灯光。劲风打大路那边刮来,在干枯了的玉米杆中乱窜,慌慌张张地发出簌簌的声响。
“我们这是去哪儿?”她问道,尽力使声音抖得不要太厉害。
然而她的眼睛却灼灼放光。我俯下身去望着她,尽管夜色正浓,却能清楚地看到她的眼睛,看到她古怪而同时又是深感幸福的眼神。
风在玉米田中乱窜,慌慌张张地一边奔跑,一边簌簌地响着。马顶着风奔驰着。我们拐过一个弯后,风立刻起了变化,变得更加潮湿,更加料峭,更加惶惶然地在我们周围舞旋。
我深深地地吸了一口风,一心巴望这天夜里一切黑暗、盲目、不可理解的东西变得更加不可理解,更加大胆。在城里时,觉得这天夜晚不过是个平平常常的阴霾起风的夜罢了,可是到了旷野里却发现全然不是这么回事。在这儿沉沉的夜色中和呼呼的劲风中,存在着某种拥有巨大威力的庄严的东西。果然,我们终于透过荒草簌簌的声响,听到了一种稳重、单调、雄壮的喧声。
“是海?”她问
“是海,”我说。“这儿已经是最后几幢别墅了。”
此刻我们已经习惯于微微泛白的夜色,看到在我们左边有几座别墅的花园,迤逦而行,直抵海边,园中耸立着一排排高大、阴郁的白杨。辚辚车轮声和马蹄踩在泥浆里的得得声被花园的围墙挡了回来,于一刹那间显得分外清晰,但是转眼就被迎面奔来的白杨林中的风声和海浪声淹没了。车旁掠过几幢门窗钉死的房子,在夜暗中泛出朦朦胧胧的惨白的颜色,活像是一幢幢死屋……后来,白杨林渐渐稀疏,突然,从白杨林的空隙中袭来一股股潮气――这是从辽阔的海上吹到陆地上来的风,看来,这就是海洋清新的呼吸。
马站停了。
就在这一瞬间,传来平稳、庄重而又幽怨的涛声,从中可以感到海水沉重的分量。别墅的花园虽已沉入梦乡,但睡得并不安稳,树木在其中纷乱地喧闹着,而且越闹越凶。我俩踏着落叶和水洼,沿着一条林荫陡坡,快步登上了峭壁。
4
大海在峭壁下隆隆轰鸣,压倒了这个骚动不安、睡意朦胧的夜的一切喧声。寥廓的、茫无涯际的大海卧在峭壁下面很深的地方,透过夜暗,可以看到远远有一线白乎乎的浪花朝陆地涌来。围墙后边的花园象个阴森森的孤岛,鹊立在陡峭的海岸上,满园的老杨树纷扰地喧闹着,令人毛骨悚然。显而易见,暮秋的深夜此刻正主宰着这片荒芜人烟的地方,无论是古老的大花园,无论是过冬时门窗钉死的别墅,还是围墙四角无门无窗的凉亭,都给人以触目惊心的荒芜之感。唯独大海以无坚不摧的胜利者的气派,从容不迫地隆隆轰鸣着,使人觉得它蕴藏着无穷的创造力,因此显得越来越庄严、雄伟。我俩久久地位立在峭壁上,湿润的风吹拂着我们的脚,我们尽情地呼吸着随风拂来的清新的空气,怎么也不知魇足。后来,我们顺着又潮又滑的泥径和残存的木梯,走下悬岩,朝闪烁着浪花的海边走去。刚走到砾石地上,一个浪头就朝岩石打来,水珠四散进溅,我们赶紧躲到一边。黑压压的白杨高高地挺立着,呼呼地喧嚣着,而在他们脚下、大海贪婪、疯狂地拍打着海岸,仿佛在和白杨呼应。高高的海浪朝我们扑来,响得犹如开炮一样地倾泻到岸上,水流旋转着,形成一道道亮闪闪的瀑布,并溅出象雪一般洁白的水花,同时冲击着砂子和岩石,然后退回海里,卷走了绞成一团团的水草、淤泥和砾石;随波而去的砾石一路上发出喀嚓喀嚓的声响。空气中弥漫着凉丝丝的细小的水珠,周遭的一切散发出大海那种不受羁绊的清新的气息。黑沉沉的空中吐出了鱼肚白,渐渐地已能看清远方的海面。
“只有我们俩了!”她说道,阖上了眼帘。
5
只有我们俩。我吻着她的双唇,陶醉于她嘴唇的温柔和湿润,吻着她阖上眼帘、笑盈盈地伸过来的双眸,吻着她被海风吹得惊丝丝的脸,当她在一块石头上坐下来时,我跪倒在她面前,欢乐得浑身瘫软。
“那么明天呢?”她在我头上说。
我昂起头,仰望着她的脸。在我身后,大海在饥渴地咆哮,在我俩头上,高高的白杨在喧闹……
“什么明天?”我反问她说,不可抑制的幸福使我热泪盈眶,连声音都发抖了。“什么明天?”
她久久地沉默着,没有回答我的问话,后来把一只手伸给我。我脱去她的手套,连连地吻着她的手,吻着她的手套,唤着那上边女性隐隐的幽香。
“是呀!”她慢吞吞地叹息说。我凑近她的脸,借着星光看到她的脸苍白而又幸福。“我还是姑娘的时候,无尽地遇想着幸福,但结果一切是那样的无聊和庸俗,以致今天这个晚上,这也许是我一生中唯一幸福的夜晚了,在我看来,不像是真实的,不像是有罪的。明天我只消一想起这个夜晚就将心惊肉跳,不过此刻我已把一切置之度外……我爱你。”她温存地、悄声地沉思着说,像是在自言自语。
在我们头上的一朵朵乌云间,忽明忽来地闪烁着几颗淡蓝色的星星,大空在渐渐地廓清,峭壁上的白杨益发显得黑了,而大海却越来越清楚地和远方的地平线分了开来。她是否胜过我过去曾经爱过的那些女子,我说不上,但至少在今晚她是无与伦比的。当我亲吻她膝上的裙子时,她含着泪水,吃吃地笑着,搂住了我的头。我怀着疯狂的喜悦望着她,在淡淡的星光下,她那苍白、幸福、慵倦的脸,在我看来是永生的。
1990年
戴骢译
1 Moment of quiet down in the living room, she took the opportunity to stand up, and glanced at me. "Oh, I say good-bye," she sighed softly, my heart suddenly worth shocked, and I sensed a great joy to have been waiting for me, I finally achieved her secret things that pile. Throughout the evening, I am glued to keep her around; the whole night, I have to catch hidden in her eyes flash, absent-minded look, and although only dimly show it, the warmth more strongly than before. She was speaking at the moment, "I say good-bye," when He spoke like a regret, but I actually can out of the implication: She was convinced that I would go with her. "You leaving?" She asked, can almost be certain tone. "So, you can send me back, then?" She said casually, plus complement, but can not help but have a little bit, actually turn around and smiled at me. Her graceful posture, soft, and her hand in a light and skillful action brought black dress. That she has just smiled, her first release of the beautiful flower face, eye to her black hair, even her neck piece of delicate pearl necklace and diamond earrings that flash, all showing an initial fall the shy girl in love. When people have asked her to convey her greetings to her husband, and later in the hallway for her coat, I have been on tenterhooks, fearing what people want and our peers. But I worry too much, and no one to interfere with us. We went to the door, opened it, a light immediately put into the dark yard, then the door is gently closed. My whole body shiver with excitement, but I tried to be restrained, I just feel over the body up and down to get high, and I hanging on her arm, hospitality every possible step to help her down the steps. "You see?" She looked at the foot of the side asked. Revealed once again in her voice that gave me encouragement sweetness over me. I stepped on the fallen leaves puddles and Montreal, helped her through the dark courtyard, flanked by bare trees Acacia and Rhus, which like the cable on the sea vessel, was in November, the moist south winds night , blowing hum with the noise issue. The fence-shaped courtyard, stood a carriage, the lights burn too bright to. I glanced at her face. She did not look back at me, holding out a pair of tiny, narrow as wearing gloves and showed the hand, grasp the courtyard of the iron, so I did not help her on, put the door opened inward half, carriages trot in front, sat in, I also quickly ground vehicles, and sat down beside her ... ... 2 The two of us for a long time to utter a word. The past month, we dreaming about it, it is now no need to use language to express, the reason we do not squeak sound, but this thing is self-evident, that suddenly appear out of hand, a few, out of practice. I took her a hand to my lips, suddenly excited difficult to self-sustaining, then quickly turn around and go, gazing intently toward the dark street we face the end came running. I'm also wary of her, it was, you cold at the time I asked her, but flaring lips, lack of lack of smile, and no effort to answer, so I understand, she told me wary I hold her hand, holding her back tightly with gratitude. Later, we heard no carriage had turned the corner of one person a wide road, this road seems to grow without end, the Jews are lined with old shops and open farms, suddenly, the road beneath our interrupted. Guaiqu carriage toward another street, suddenly Britain Akira a moment, she plunged forward, I quickly took her to live. And for a moment, she looked ahead, then, turn around toward me. We are face to face, her eyes in the original fear and hesitation are gone, only her nervous smile revealed a trace of shyness. In these circumstances, so I carried away, I mouth tightly attached to her lips ... ... 3 "What we are going?" She asked, trying not to sound too much shaking. But her eyes were shining Shining. I leaned over to look at her, even though the night is strong, but it can be clearly seen in her eyes, see her eccentric but it is also deeply happy eyes. Wind in the corn field in the stampede, panic while running, while ringing Susu. Mercedes-Benz with horse face into the wind. We turned the corner, the wind began to change immediately and become more humid, more chilly and more Huanghuang Ran dance around in our rotation. I inhaled deeply to the wind, as one look forward to this day, all night darkness, the blind, incomprehensible, incomprehensible things become more and more bold. In the city, I felt that day was unremarkable, but the night haze fills the night wind blows, but to actually find the wilderness completely not the case. Heavy in the night here and whistling winds, there are some great power with the solemn things. Sure enough, we finally sound rustled through the weeds, I heard a steady, monotonous, majestic with the noise. "Is the sea?" She asked "Is the sea," I said. "Here is the last blocks of villa." Ma station stopped. At that moment, came a smooth, formal and Resentment of waves, from which you can feel the weight of heavy water. Although Shen and fall asleep, Garden Villa, but sleep is not stable, the trees in which the noise of a chaotic manner, and Yue Naoyue fierce. Inspired by leaves and water in front of us, along a tree-lined slope, quickly boarded the cliff. 4 Rumbling roar of the sea under the cliffs, overwhelming this unrest, sleepy all the noisy sound of the night. Boundless, the vast international sea knows no boundaries lying deep below the cliff where, through Yean, you can see there is a glimmer of white honking much spray coming toward the land. Walled garden behind the island like a gloomy, magpie standing in the steep coast, filled with old poplar with troubles in noisy, scary. Obviously, Muqiu the night at the moment is dominated by this deserted place, whether it is the old garden, whether it is winter when the house windows and doors nailed or windowless walls nowhere corner pavilion, all seem to startling barren feeling. Exception of the sea to the winner of the all-conquering style, rumbling roar of a leisurely, giving the impression that it is the seat ideas and creativity, it becomes more and more solemn, majestic. Status of us stand on the cliff a long time, wet wind blowing our feet, we enjoy breathing fresh wind to the air brush, how I do not know enough nightmare. Later, we follow the tide of mud and slippery trails and remnants of the ladder, down the cliff, toward the sparkling waves of the sea walk. Just went to the gravel on the ground, a wave of rock called on North Korea, scattered drops of water into the spray, we quickly hid in the side. Dense mass of aspen to erect high, whirring noise, while in their feet, the sea of greed, beating the shore, as if echoing in and poplar. We lunged toward the high waves, sound as if the fire was as it pours into the shore, water spinning to form a sparkling waterfall road, and spilled the general white as snow spray, while the impact of the sand and rocks, and then returned sea, swept away a group of aquatic plants twisted into a ball, silt and gravel; with wave away the issue of gravel along the way rattle rattle sound. Cold air filled the small trace of water drops, all around the sea that unhindered distribution of the fresh air. Spit the dark gray dawn air, and gradually has been able to see the distant sea. "Only two of us!" She said, closed his eyes. 5 Only two of us. I kissed her lips, reveling in the soft and wet her lips, kissed her closed his eyes, wide smile stretching from the eyes, kissed her startled by the slightest breeze blowing in the face, when she was a stone sat down, I kneel in front of her joy was covered with limp. "What about tomorrow?" She said in my head. I raised my head, looking up at her face. Behind me, the sea roared in hunger, where we head, in the noisy high poplar ... ... "What is tomorrow?" I asked, she said, happy that I can not suppress tears, and even voice shaking. "What is tomorrow?" She was silent a long while, did not answer my questioning, and later put a hand to me. I take off her gloves, again and again kissed her hand, kissed her gloves, called to that top women faint fragrance. "Yes!" She said slowly, sighing. I leaned her face see her face by starlight pale and happy. "When I was a girl, thinking endlessly happy event, but the result is so boring and all the vulgar, that today's evening, which is probably the only happiness in my life at night, and in my opinion, unlike the real, not guilty. Tomorrow I think this takes only one night will be gripped, but now I have all the indifferent ... ... I love you. "She tenderly, and said quietly in meditation, like the self-made self- language. One of our heads every cloud, the Huming suddenly flickered to a few light blue stars, big air in the clearance gradually, the cliffs seem increasingly black poplar, while the sea has become increasingly clear and horizon divided off. She is better than I used to love those women, I can not say, but at least she is unmatched in the evening. When I kissed her knee skirt, her tears, eat and smile, grabbed my head. The joy with which I looked at her crazy, in light of the stars, she was pale, happy, lethargy in the face, in my opinion is the eternal life. 1990 Translation Cong Dai
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请给我换一个看看! 拜托,快把噪音停掉!我读累了,想听点音乐或者请来支歌曲!
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