|
北美枫文集
Lake
|
|
?????121?
?????2007-01-09
????? ?????Lake's blog 查找Lake发表的所有帖子 ???the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins 胡礼忠2010-11-15 05:21:45拜访老师、颂冬祺！ Lake2010-01-16 09:05:12Thank you. 我家三儿2010-01-07 05:21:39我叫太阳每天把幸福的阳光洒在你身上，我叫月亮每天给你一个甜美的梦境，祝愿你事事如意！ Lake2008-11-04 11:04:13Thanks. hepingdao2008-11-04 10:52:29congratulations!
and you can configure to show or not to show those articles from bbs |
|
|
| 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
|
 Brick Kiln Blues With Music (edited) 加上了新音乐，请提意见
Brick Kiln Blues
--- Child Slaves
It’s June, the sun shines, the sky is blue
Yet deep in the mountains, nothing sifts through
There’s no sunlight here, my child, there’s no sunlight here
On the road side by the train station
A stranger lured you with temptation
He’s gonna sell you, my child, he’s gonna sell you
The moon’s still up, the cock hasn't crowed
You are beaten ‘cause you’re tired and slow
But you work fifteen hours a day, my child, you work fifteen hours a day
In the river there swims a buffalo
For years, your skin diseased, eyes shallow
They won’t let you bathe, my child, they won’t let you bathe
The bricks you’ve baked a year
Made the owner a millionaire
Who pays you not a penny, my child, who pays you not a penny
Grass withers in winter, anew in spring
Everyday’s the same to you with a bell-ring
You can't go home, my child, you can't go home
Run in the forest, soaked in night dew
Guards and dogs are lookin’ for you
If caught, you’re dead, my child, if caught, you’re dead
“Why don’t you ask for help?” some say
"Officials should send the evil-minded to jail."
But they sing the same tune, my child, they sing the same tune
.
2007-08-27 12:00:07 |
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-27 16:14:54?? |  |
赞赏 Lake: 1、语言、诗句不复杂，一读就懂，适合这个题材；
2、有人物、情节，吸引读者的阅读兴趣；
3、诗人的同情化入咏叹的诗行和语调中了，易感人；
4、对人性中丑恶的揭露和对社会阴暗面的批判是“愤”而不“怒”， 把诗歌和同题新闻拉开了距离。
|
| kokho ?2007-08-28 11:04:47?? | |
the cock’s not to crow ？
。。
|
| Lake ?2007-08-28 19:15:31?? | |
William, 你是语文老师吧，像是写评语似的。 开玩笑。
读起来是简单了，而且每段的第三行有些还不够力量。
不过确实是想用一种 poignant 语调语气， 很高兴，你也感受到了。
谢谢赞赏。
|
| Lake ?2007-08-28 19:25:36?? | |
| kokho 写到: |
the cock’s not to crow ？
。。 |
Any problems with the use of diction or the expression?
I know this piece is not your taste.
我愚钝，请明示。 多谢！ 
|
| kokho ?2007-08-28 22:31:30?? | |
country song
..
|
| Lake ?2007-08-29 05:54:56?? | |
| kokho 写到: |
country song
.. |
没办法，最近上了贼船，只有摇啊摇，逆流而上...
yes, a song... but supposed to be sorrowful, not playful.
Blues have helped shape virtually all the major styles of contemporary pop--jazz, rap, rock, gospel, country... and influenced modern poets.
"It is from the blues that all that may be called American music derives its most distintive characteristic."--James Weldon Johnson
I have never thought I could be able to write anything like a song eventhough it sounds like crap...
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-29 06:28:48?? | |
答复 Lake : 我早期是学语文的，后来又学英语，最主要的是我从诗歌的语感语气中去理解诗人的立意。
|
| Lake ?2007-08-29 17:55:12?? | |
“the cock’s not to crow“
嗯，听起来不顺 ？ 我本来是写成这样的：
the cock has not crowed
How about that?
|
| Lake ?2007-08-29 17:56:49?? | |
| William Zhou周道模 写到: |
| 答复 Lake : 我早期是学语文的，后来又学英语，最主要的是我从诗歌的语感语气中去理解诗人的立意。 |
怪不得。现在教什么呢？
|
| 1[2] 前页 | | English Poetry | | 开心一笑 | | 网友论坛 | | 驻站作家 | | 奥运之光 | | 移民心语 | | 现代诗歌讲习交流班 | | Fiction and Short Stories | | Prose and Essay | | 北美之音 Voice of North America | | Chinese Poetry |
|
