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[新翻曹东的诗] 许多灯 many lights
今上午为曹东翻了一首鲜诗,请品评。
许 多 灯
曹 东
许多灯,在我身体的房间
亮着。我轻轻走动
他们就摇晃
影子松软,齿咬一些痛觉
我上班下班,挤公交车
陪领导笑谈。十年了
竟无人发现
只有一人时,我才小心地打开
并一一清点,哪些灯已经熄灭
Many lights
Written by Cao Dong
translated by William Zhou
Many lights, in the room of my body
Shining. I just walk gingerly
They will sway
The shaddow is soft, chewing some pain
I go to work and come home in crowded buses
Accompany the leaders, talking and laughing
To my surprise, nobody has known for ten years
when alone, I will open the room carefully
And check the lights one by one to see
Which lights have already extinguished
2007-8-23
.
2007-08-22 19:03:46 |
kokho ?2007-08-22 23:28:39?? | |
介绍 你到 www.dictionary.com
那里你可以找到很多句子的用法,还有同义词 :)
0 - Burning
0 - have already died out
0 - nobody has known
0 - Keep leaders company, talking and laughing
0 - They will sway
0 - The shaddow is loose and soft, chewing some pain
《》等你尝试多一次,我写给你看看 :)
。。 |
戴玨 ?2007-08-23 00:01:36?? Re: [原创双语诗] 许多灯 many lights | |
這首不錯。
William Zhou周道模 写到: |
...
Only alone, I will open them carefully
... |
When alone, I will turn (switch) them on gingerly.
open是典型的洋涇濱。
怎麽是雙語原創?中文又不是你寫的。 |
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-23 03:33:31?? | |
谢谢 Kokho 的介绍,我可以找到方向和助手了。答戴先生:用open简直就是“开黄腔”:open yellow gun. 看来还要继续下苦工夫啊。双语原创是写顺手了,如是“剽窃”,就不会说是曹东的了。改过来就是好人,还是《四川好人》。 |
Lake ?2007-08-23 09:53:16?? | |
中文理解上的问题
引用: |
许多灯,在我身体的房间
亮着。
......
只有一人时,我才小心地打开
并一一清点,哪些灯已经熄灭 |
首句讲,灯在房间里亮着
尾句讲, 我打开清点
这打开是打开灯呢(灯不是都亮着吗),还是打开房间?
看译文
Only alone, I will turn them on carefully
And check them one by one to see
好像说是开灯
My comprehension sucks.
. |
曹东 ?2007-08-23 16:29:24?? | |
应该是打开房间. 谢谢道模诗友,谢谢大家的热心! |
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-23 17:15:10?? | |
本来我原来也是理解成打开房间的,当时用错了一个词 them,现改成 the room,戴君一指点,我未细想又改错了。曹东又来明确,就这样定了!谢戴先生和 lake! |
戴玨 ?2007-08-24 13:50:21?? | |
呵呵,還是Lake讀得仔細! |
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-24 23:08:01?? | |
yes, yes! |
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