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北美枫文集
Lake
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?????121?
?????2007-01-09
????? ?????Lake's blog 查找Lake发表的所有帖子 ???the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins 胡礼忠2010-11-15 05:21:45拜访老师、颂冬祺！ Lake2010-01-16 09:05:12Thank you. 我家三儿2010-01-07 05:21:39我叫太阳每天把幸福的阳光洒在你身上，我叫月亮每天给你一个甜美的梦境，祝愿你事事如意！ Lake2008-11-04 11:04:13Thanks. hepingdao2008-11-04 10:52:29congratulations!
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| 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 Sparrows
Sparrow
Walking through dusk,
I spotted a brown bird,
alone
on the grass, chirping coarsely,
limping when it saw me
approaching. I cupped
it in my hands, took it home,
tended it with a few seeds, some water
and comforted it in a cage
by the window.
Morning was awakened
by a swarm of sparrows swooping
around the house, bumping against
the glass pane, calling, shrieking
as if to break into the jail
to rescue the prisoner.
With a bang, a small body,
from the collision with the window,
dropped,
and then, another,
another
...
(Removed the last two lines:
That astounded me most of all.
I opened the door.)
2010-04-04 07:29:35 |
| nightingale2 ?2010-04-11 03:31:24?? |  |
O,HAPPENED IN MY GARDEN AS WELL, ONLY 2 OUT OF 7 SERVIVED SUCH CRUTY BY NATURE. SAD.
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| Lake ?2010-04-12 12:35:21?? | |
Thank you for reading, nightingale.
"Cruty", (you mean "cruelty"?) is not the main theme this poem tried to convey. But you got the sad part.
Thanks.
Lake
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| SLIU ?2010-04-21 03:18:58?? | |
Vivid description especially of the rescuers
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| 非马 ?2010-04-25 11:23:31?? | |
Lake 好！结尾似乎弱了点。最后两行改成“until I opened the door （of the cage?)" 会不会更好些？
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| Lake ?2010-04-26 07:40:12?? | |
Thanks Mr. Feima. Someone else mentioned the ending, too, and suggested cutting the last two lines and ending on "another". So the present ending must be weak.
Thanks for letting me know.
Best,
Lake
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| 非马 ?2010-04-26 08:09:54?? | |
| Lake 写到: |
Thanks Mr. Feima. Someone else mentioned the ending, too, and suggested cutting the last two lines and ending on "another". So the present ending must be weak.
... |
I also was thinking of the same thing. Ending the poem with "another" can leave more room for imagination.
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