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北美枫文集
lulu
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???dream home
?????46?
?????2009-01-25
???teacher ???reading, writing, music, movie, art, singing and dancing, Peking Opera, keeping fit, tennis, fashion, travel, nature......
????? ????? 查找lulu发表的所有帖子 ???荣辱不惊, 闲看亭前花开花落; 去留无意, 漫随天外云卷云舒 |
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| 古韵新音 | | 现代诗歌 | | 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 Where are you?
Where are you?
(Original Poem)
Thousand hills outside
The common walking sound with you
Even if loneliness
Not lonely
You can hear her breathing
Touch her heartbeat
Along with the air of the fragrant rose
Wine, coffee, candle light in the shadow
And romantic music
But
Where are you
2009-04-08 03:39:43 |
| Lake ?2009-04-08 07:10:31?? |  |
Sorry, Lulu. This sounds like a machine translation.
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| lulu ?2009-04-19 23:35:58?? | |
Hi,Lake,thanks for your reading!
So sad...,sorry,but how can I translate it in very pure English?
Can you give me a hand? Any opinions? Thank you so much!
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| Lake ?2009-04-24 17:02:05?? | |
lulu,
I don't correct others' works, I only make suggestions which I can't guarantee are all valid.
And I don't know what pure English is either. All I'd like to say is put away the machine translation for now, do it yourself. For example the first line
"Thousand hills outside"
I take it as the speaker sits inside and watches the mountains outside. Is this what you really want to say?
The second line
"The common walking sound with you"
I hate to say this, but it doesn't make any sense to me.
Hope it helps a bit. Good luck with you revision.
Lake
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| lulu ?2009-05-23 05:20:52?? | |
Lake, thanks for your suggestions! I think I should learn from you!
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