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| 现代诗歌 | | 落尘诗社 | | 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 无法翻译的诗？All Souls' Night by W.B. Yeats
除了字义、音外，stress、rhyme、foot 的诗味恐怕也是极大的挑战。有谁愿意试试？
All Souls' Night by W.B. Yeats
Midnight has come and the great Christ Church bell
And many a lesser bell sound through the room;
And it is All Souls' Night.
And two long glasses brimmed with muscatel
Bubble upon the table. A ghost may come;
For it is a ghost's right,
His element is so fine
Being sharpened by his death,
To drink from the wine-breath
While our gross palates drink from the whole wine.
I need some mind that, if the cannon sound
From every quarter of the world, can stay
Wound in mind's pondering, [3]
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound;[1]
Because I have a marvellous thing to say,
A certain marvellous thing [2]
None but the living mock,
Though not for sober ear;
It may be all that hear
Should laugh and weep an hour upon the clock.
Horton's the first I call. He loved strange thought
And knew that sweet extremity of pride
That's called platonic love,
And that to such a pitch of passion wrought
Nothing could bring him, when his lady died,
Anodyne for his love.
Words were but wasted breath;
One dear hope had he:
The inclemency
Of that or the next winter would be death.
Two thoughts were so mixed up I could not tell
Whether of her or God he thought the most,
But think that his mind's eye,
When upward turned, on one sole image fell;
And that a slight companionable ghost,
Wild with divinity,
Had so lit up the whole
Immense miraculous house
The Bible promised us,
It seemed a gold-fish swimming in a bowl.
On Florence Emery I call the next,
Who finding the first wrinkles on a face
Admired and beautiful,
And by foreknowledge of the future vexed;
Diminished beauty, multiplied commonplace;
Preferred to teach a school
Away from neighbour or friend,
Among dark skins, and there
Permit foul years to wear
Hidden from eyesight to the unnoticed end.
Before that end much had she ravelled out
From a discourse in figurative speech
By some learned Indian
On the soul's journey. How it is whirled about
Wherever the orbit of the moon can reach,
Until it plunge into the sun;
And there, free and yet fast,
Being both Chance and Choice,
Forget its broken toys
And sink into its own delight at last.
I call MacGregor Mathers from his grave,
For in my first hard spring-time we were friends,
Although of late estranged.
I thought him half a lunatic, half knave,
And told him so, but friendship never ends;
And what if mind seem changed,
And it seem changed with the mind,
When thoughts rise up unbid
On generous things that he did
And I grow half contented to be blind!
He had much industry at setting out,
Much boisterous courage, before loneliness
Had driven him crazed;
For meditations upon unknown thought
Make human intercourse grow less and less;
They are neither paid nor praised.
but he'd object to the host,
The glass because my glass;
A ghost-lover he was
And may have grown more arrogant being a ghost.
But names are nothing. What matter who it be,
So that his elements have grown so fine
The fume of muscatel
Can give his sharpened palate ecstasy
No living man can drink from the whole wine.
I have mummy truths to tell [2]
Whereat the living mock,
Though not for sober ear,
For maybe all that hear
Should laugh and weep an hour upon the clock.
Such thought — such thought have I that hold it tight
Till meditation master all its parts,
Nothing can stay my glance
Until that glance run in the world's despite
To where the damned have howled away their hearts,
And where the blessed dance;
Such thought, that in it bound
I need no other thing,[3]
Wound in mind's wandering
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound. [1]
2007-03-19 10:51:57  |
| 戴玨 ?2007-03-24 06:13:14?? | |
我試了一下，韻式可以跟從，但音步就做不到了。 
至於詩味，字義
不好說
葉芝的詩
挺難讀的。
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?p=14808#14808
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| kokho ?2007-03-26 01:39:35?? | |
Fantastic works ...
..
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| kino ?2007-03-26 02:20:44?? | |
要考虑韵脚和音步，翻译出来字义和诗味肯定要受影响。~~~ 很难啊
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-26 15:05:41?? | |
得空要回来看你的翻译。
但这里先提一点，这十段都有一个相同的‘形式’，1，2，4，5，10行都是较长的。第一段 1，2 如钟声的 重音，头尾两行如墙；室内有酒，有钟声。这第一个 stanza （like a room) 定义了以下所有的形式，有形式喻在内。
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-27 18:21:06?? | |
又，段的韵式，（1，2） 和 （4，5） ，（3）和（6）。（7）和（10），（8）和（9）行是押的。我把原帖第一段加上了颜色，余段类似，各室（stanza)定各韵。
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-29 05:29:46?? | |
[1]
Wound in mind's wandering
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound.
这两行出现在第二段和最后一段。
1. 以中文的修辞学来看，w-ound, w-andering 有押声应响的效果。同样的，mummies in the mummy-cloth 亦有。
2。以 Wound 起，以 wound 收，虽不是回文，有 包封(envelop) 的效果，有两种说法：wound 是头也是尾（即没有头也没有尾，循环缠绕）；或者，这字把之间的文字围住，使意义焦点更集中。你再念念,是不是更有感觉. 想起以前自己与友酬酢写过:
<兩根雪茄>
之一
月光在傘葉上輕寫著邂逅
邂逅在傘架下淺讀著月光
之二
繁市中隱居著如玉的溫潤
溫潤之散發於無言的繁市
看到这 wound 的此处用法, 特有感触.
3。wound 本身可是名词的受伤，或者 wind 的 pp.. 因为韵故，念 /waund/, 但视觉里,名词的映像存在.
而这两行,出现两次,且以此两行收,更有其特殊意义,不是么?
ps.
这里是一个我自己另外的新解,即上述不提的回文读法(我想作者可能有这意思,只是无法以英文表达，也只是可能),姑且也写出来.
Wound in mind's wandering
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound.
-->
wound is mummy-cloth in the mummies as
wandering minds in wound
这里, wound 就要念 /woond/ 了 
这是我的解读,欢迎更正讨论.
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-30 10:40:11?? | |
[2]
it was said he originally had three 'marvellous' words in the poem, then changed the last one to 'mummy'; why 'mummy truth'?
the "Because I have a marvellous thing to say, " comes after [1] in 2nd stanza, then it becomes 'mummy truths' in the one but last stanza, as I quote
"No living man can drink from the whole wine.
I have mummy truths to tell [2] ".
following it, the words "living mock", think about it!
the word 'whole' first appeared in the last line of the first stanza.
also bring to your attention the following interesting selection of words:
mummy truths, mummy cloth
living man, living mock
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-30 10:52:29?? | |
[3]
the rhyme scheme in
the 2nd;
Wound in mind's pondering,
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound;
Because I have a marvellous thing to say,
A certain marvellous thing
the last;
I need no other thing,
Wound in mind's wandering
is like a thread linking the last to the 2nd, and then, what is the 'thing' of non-other if not the marvellous or mummy truth? and thread, is like a line which by the second definition;
line
–verb
1. to cover the inner side or surface of: to line the coat with blue silk.
2. to serve to cover: Velvet draperies lined the walls of the room.
or linen used to form mummy-cloth,
interesting, isn't it, and how deep is the poem?
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| 戴玨 ?2007-03-30 22:09:07?? | |
| 博弈 xièdào: |
得空要回来看你的翻译。
但这里先提一点，这十段都有一个相同的‘形式’，1，2，4，5，10行都是较长的。第一段 1，2 如钟声的 重音，头尾两行如墙；室内有酒，有钟声。这第一个 stanza （like a room) 定义了以下所有的形式，有形式喻在内。 |
由於得跟從原詩的韻式，音步沒能模仿。
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