běiměifēngwénjí

qinghongh

?????423?

?????2007-10-14

?????fāsòngsīrénliúyán

cházhǎoqinghonghfābiǎodesuǒyòutièzǐ

张南城2009-08-18 04:26:57

问候先生。

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五绝 远帆(汉译英)

五绝 远帆

平生沧海志,万里一征帆。
无惧千层浪,遨游天地间。

(译一)
The Remote Boat

All the life a dream to trip vast oceans,
Like a boat ready for thousands of miles away.
If I am not afraid of any wave on the way,
Then I can have freedom to go anywhere under the sky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(译二)
The Remote Boat

For vast oceans I yearn,
A boat prepared for a thousand-mile journey.
If I cast my fear of waves away,
Then I am free to set sail to the heavens.

2010-01-02 22:10:40
yǐnyòngbìnghuífù
Lake ?2010-01-03 10:54:44?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


Qinghongh,

Nice one. I like the idea in the poem. Version 2 reads better to me, which conveys the narrator's ambition expecially expressed in L1. I'm not quite sure of "If' and "Then" at the beginning of L3 and L4, which I think can be left out. Just my opinion though.

Happpy New Year!

Lake

PS: title - how about A Sailing Boat?

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     Lakeběiměifēngwénjí
qinghongh ?2010-01-03 15:39:26?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


Lake xièdào:
Qinghongh,
...


Thank you very much, Lake. Happy New Year!

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     qinghonghběiměifēngwénjí
王国栋 ?2010-07-12 05:37:09?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


精彩不容错过,学习了。

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yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     王国栋běiměifēngwénjí
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