běiměifēngwénjí

白水

???TORONTO

?????543?

?????2006-10-02

???Dancing, Swimming, Writing, Reading

?????fāsòngsīrénliúyán

?????月光泉

cházhǎo白水fābiǎodesuǒyòutièzǐ

冷雨2011-10-06 02:16:37

问好临屏!
我想看到的就是古韵袅袅,其他的对我并不重要。

冷雨2010-12-24 06:15:09

问候白水,圣诞节快乐!!
清源留字

飞翔2010-10-23 18:06:10

问好! thanks byebye byebye byebye

亿七维2010-05-29 13:43:04

问好白水!

李盈枝2009-12-17 01:10:58

过来拜读先生的新诗佳作,希望能从中汲取营养,以提高自己旧体诗词的习作水平。顺便向先生问好并致意。

君山楚女2009-11-22 15:55:12

问候白水忘年兄。读您的作品,主我眼前一亮,慧心灵动。一篇好作品,一个好老师,确实能点破愚顽。

梦之2009-08-19 14:44:54

向姐姐问好! 很欣赏你的作品。

梦之

zmj1662009-08-17 02:34:36

问好白水!

万春来2009-06-13 16:49:42

问候白水兄,前来问候!

莹雪2009-06-07 16:35:14

问好姐姐 thanks

现代诗歌
宾至如归
古韵新音
联赛专刊编辑小组
西方文学 Western Literature
fābiǎoxīntiè   huífùtièzǐ
Snow Burning

Snow Burning

“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind whispers.
but I could not find,
where are the fire?

“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind blows.
I close my eyes,
but could not feel,
the smoke and the warmth.

“Snow burning, snow burning”
the wind cries.
I look around,
ashes cover ashes,
lay down on the land,
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree:

“Snow burning,
the snow burning.”

2008-02-23 22:14:07
yǐnyòngbìnghuífù
kino ?2008-02-23 23:35:42?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


Snow Burning
雪在燃烧

“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind whispers.
but I could not find,
where are the fire?
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风轻轻地说
但是我却看不到
火在哪里?

“Snow burning, snow burning”
wind blows.
I close my eyes,
but could not feel,
the smoke and the warmth.
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风掠过
我闭上眼睛
却不能感觉
那烟和温暖

“Snow burning, snow burning”
the wind cries.
I look around,
ashes cover ashes,
lay down on the land,
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree:
“雪在燃烧,雪在燃烧”
风呼号着
我环顾四周
灰烬成堆
躺在这片大地上
我听到
鸟儿在枝头吟唱


“Snow burning,
the snow burning.”
“雪儿在燃烧,
那雪在燃烧”。

Very Happy 边读边译~~~

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     kinoběiměifēngwénjí
白水 ?2008-02-24 03:34:43?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文. Very Happy

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     白水běiměifēngwénjí
kino ?2008-02-25 05:35:54?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


白水 Moonlight xièdào:
谢谢你, 我懒了一下, 没译成中文. Very Happy

翻的不好,莫怪~~

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     kinoběiměifēngwénjí
Lake ?2008-02-25 13:13:11?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


Kino 快手快脚。

改语法错误比改诗容易。像这两句:

yǐnyòng:
but I could not find,
where are the fire?


but I could not find
where the fire is.

or simply,

but I could not find
the fire.

yǐnyòng:
and I hearing that
a bird singing on a tree:


and I hear
a bird singing on a tree

当然只是个人意见,其他人可能有不同的看法。你的诗,你决定。

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     Lakeběiměifēngwénjí
白水 ?2008-02-25 13:51:28?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


lake, thanks a lot. i will think it carefuly, after i complete my homework Sad Very Happy

_________________
yuèlǎnchéngyuánzīliào     白水běiměifēngwénjí
William Zhou周道模 ?2008-02-28 17:13:34?? yǐnyòngbìnghuífù


i like to read the poem aloud!

"lay down on the land"---- on the ground ?
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