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běiměifēngwénjí
戴玨
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?????88?
?????2007-01-03
????? ????? ?????戴玨's blog cházhǎo戴玨fābiǎodesuǒyòutièzǐ ???I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄 宁家珍2009-05-20 16:25:34谢谢老师的指点，喜欢你这样的交流，也喜欢你的古诗词，和你的翻译。问好。 月光情怀2007-02-28 11:23:18不知怎的？读繁体字，总是很吃力。可能是文化和地域的差异吧。
你的诗很有嚼头。需慢慢品来... hepingdao2007-02-16 23:16:20分類顯示
正是我要解决的下一个问题
会难一些：先要分类型，
然后才能运用．．．
等我好好想想 戴玨2007-02-16 21:24:21謝謝和平島！新年快樂！
現在版面清爽點了。
倒想問下文章是否可以分類顯示？比如中詩，英詩，譯詩，評論之類的？ 和平岛2007-02-16 20:58:02问好戴玨，新年快乐！
你可以到设置页，
＂显示主论坛的文章＂这一项，选为
＂不显示＂
就可以了
我还在修改这一功能，会让它更好用些
有什么好建议，可以提出来，如果有时间，我就可以编好程序
 hepingdao2007-01-06 00:51:48喜欢你的古诗词，和你的翻译
很有功底 |
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| 古韵新音 | | 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 試譯 All Souls' Night by W.B. Yeats
All Souls' Night by W.B. Yeats
Epilogue to ‘A Vision’
萬靈節之夜(1)
《幻像》(2)跋
W.B.葉芝 詩/戴玨 譯
Midnight has come and the great Christ Church bell
And many a lesser bell sound through the room;
And it is All Souls' Night.
And two long glasses brimmed with muscatel
Bubble upon the table. A ghost may come;
For it is a ghost's right,
His element is so fine
Being sharpened by his death,
To drink from the wine-breath
While our gross palates drink from the whole wine.
午夜降臨，基督教堂學院(3)的大鐘
還有許多小鐘，響徹
房間；這是萬靈節之夜。
桌上兩個長腳玻璃盅
注滿了麝香葡萄酒，泛著
泡沫。某個鬼魂大約
會來；因為，一個鬼魂經過了死的磨礪，
其構成元素变得如斯精细，當我们
的肉顎吞咽著酒漿的整體，那鬼魂
有权饮用酒的气息。
I need some mind that, if the cannon sound
From every quarter of the world, can stay
Wound in mind's pondering,
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound;
Because I have a marvellous thing to say,
A certain marvellous thing
None but the living mock,
Though not for sober ear;
It may be all that hear
Should laugh and weep an hour upon the clock.
我需要一個心靈，即使
大炮從世界每個角落
響起，也能裹在沉思中的
那種，就像木乃伊
被裹在尸布中那樣；因為我
有一件奇事要說，一件只有活人才會嘲笑的
奇特的事，
雖不是要說給清醒的
耳朵聽；也許所有聽到的
都會又笑又哭一個小時。
Horton's the first I call. He loved strange thought
And knew that sweet extremity of pride
That's called platonic love,
And that to such a pitch of passion wrought
Nothing could bring him, when his lady died,
Anodyne for his love.
Words were but wasted breath;
One dear hope had he:
The inclemency
Of that or the next winter would be death.
我首先召喚霍頓。他愛怪誕的觀念，
他知道高傲的極度美妙，
即所謂柏拉圖式的戀愛，
他的激情已錘煉
至如此的強度，沒任何東西能給予他止痛藥，
在他妻子死去時，以安撫他的愛。
話語不過是浪費掉的呼吸；
他只有一個心願：
那個或下一個冬天的嚴寒
會是死。
Two thoughts were so mixed up I could not tell
Whether of her or God he thought the most,
But think that his mind's eye,
When upward turned, on one sole image fell;
And that a slight companionable ghost,
Wild with divinity,
Had so lit up the whole
Immense miraculous house
The Bible promised us,
It seemed a gold-fish swimming in a bowl.
兩種觀念如此混亂，我說不上
他想的最多的是她還是神，
我只想到他心靈的眼睛
向上望的時候，看到那唯一的影像；
那是個瘦小友好的鬼魂，
狂野而帶有神性，
令聖經上預示的那棟
廣大神奇的房子
平添生氣，
猶如一條金魚在碗中游泳。
On Florence Emery I call the next,
Who finding the first wrinkles on a face
Admired and beautiful,
And by foreknowledge of the future vexed;
Diminished beauty, multiplied commonplace;
Preferred to teach a school
Away from neighbour or friend,
Among dark skins, and there
Permit foul years to wear
Hidden from eyesight to the unnoticed end.
接著我召喚弗羅倫絲·愛默麗，
在她那令人羡慕的美麗面容
第一次發現有皺紋的時候，
那惱人的未來，她已可預知；
美麗會減退，平凡會遞增；
她寜可遠離鄰居或朋友，
到黑皮膚人中間
去教書，在那兒可聽任可怕的歲月流逝
而避開他人的注視，
直至無人察覺的終點。
Before that end much had she ravelled out
From a discourse in figurative speech
By some learned Indian
On the soul's journey. How it is whirled about
Wherever the orbit of the moon can reach,
Until it plunge into the sun;
And there, free and yet fast,
Being both Chance and Choice,
Forget its broken toys
And sink into its own delight at last.
在到達那終點之前
有位博學的印度人曾向她論述
靈魂的歷程，從他的譬喻之中
她領悟了許多哲理。它如何到處回旋
遍及月亮所到之處，
直至投入太陽之中；
在那裏，自由卻又永恒，
既是選擇也是機遇，
終能忘掉它那些破爛的玩具
而沉入自身的歡欣之中。
I call MacGregor Mathers from his grave,
For in my first hard spring-time we were friends,
Although of late estranged.
I thought him half a lunatic, half knave,
And told him so, but friendship never ends;
And what if mind seem changed,
And it seem changed with the mind,
When thoughts rise up unbid
On generous things that he did
And I grow half contented to be blind!
我把麥格雷葛·邁瑟斯從墳墓裏喚起，
因為在我青春的最初艱難時期我們曾是朋友，
雖然近來我們疏遠了。
我曾認為他是半個瘋子，半個痞子，
我這樣對他說過，但我們的友誼卻又能持久；
要是心靈看似變了又如何，
似乎這友誼確已隨心靈而改變，
當思緒不由自主地升起
想起他做過的那些慷慨事跡
我便是瞎了眼也有些情願！
He had much industry at setting out,
Much boisterous courage, before loneliness
Had driven him crazed;
For meditations upon unknown thought
Make human intercourse grow less and less;
They are neither paid nor praised.
but he'd object to the host,
The glass because my glass;
A ghost-lover he was
And may have grown more arrogant being a ghost.
他當初很勤勉，
非常勇敢，那是在
孤寂把他逼瘋以前；因為
冥想未知的觀念
會使人之間的交流越來
越少；既不會有酬勞也不會
得到贊賞，但是他
會拒絕主人的敬酒，因為那是我的酒杯；
他本是個愛鬼的人，而現在做了鬼，
可能變得更加傲慢自大。
But names are nothing. What matter who it be,
So that his elements have grown so fine
The fume of muscatel
Can give his sharpened palate ecstasy
No living man can drink from the whole wine.
I have mummy truths to tell
Whereat the living mock,
Though not for sober ear,
For maybe all that hear
Should laugh and weep an hour upon the clock.
但名字算不了什麽。是哪一位并不要緊，
他的構成元素變得如此精細，
麝香葡萄酒的氣味能給予他敏銳的
味覺以狂喜，活人
縱使品嘗酒漿的整體
也喝不到的狂喜。我要說說
活人會嘲笑的木乃伊的真理，
雖不是要說給清醒的
耳朵聽；也許所有聽到的
都會又笑又哭一個小時。
Such thought — such thought have I that hold it tight
Till meditation master all its parts,
Nothing can stay my glance
Until that glance run in the world's despite
To where the damned have howled away their hearts,
And where the blessed dance;
Such thought, that in it bound
I need no other thing,
Wound in mind's wandering
As mummies in the mummy-cloth are wound.
Oxford, autumn 1920
這種觀念-持這種觀念的我
緊緊地抱著它，直到
冥想掌握了它各個部分，沒東西能阻擋
我的目光，直到那目光在世間的
怨恨中奔跑到受詛咒者痛心哀號
和受祝福者跳舞的地方；
這種觀念，我不需要
任何其他東西綁在裏面，
在心靈的漫游中盤旋，
就像木乃伊被尸布纏繞。
牛津，1920年秋
注：
1.這是葉芝用散文闡述自己哲學思想系統的書，於1925年出版，葉芝將本詩附於其後。
2.天主教節日，紀念已逝世的信徒即生前受過洗禮但有輕微罪過而被認為是在煉獄中進行滌罪的亡魂，通常為11月2日。根據天主教教義，在世信徒的祈禱有助於這些亡魂的滌罪，使他們得以進天堂。
3.牛津大學的一所學院。
2007-03-24 06:10:06 |
| kokho ?2007-03-29 08:46:23?? |  |
很好的尝试 ；））
。。
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| Lake ?2007-03-30 09:06:36?? | |
不容易。
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-30 09:53:00?? | |
though difficult to read as it may appear, in this poem, if reads carefully, one can learn a lot about english, not to mention converting it into chinese...this is also an very important piece of his work, on life and death, unity, vision (A Vision, his other major work), related to John Keats's other works, and etc...some philosophy could well relate to chinese philosophy too...i will put my interpretation in my other post http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=3496
and things related to translation discussion here, i strongly urge people participate in this discussion, this may very well be a joint effort in translating it into chinese, and make the translated as a gift to this web site...how's that?
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| Lake ?2007-03-30 10:08:49?? | |
| 博弈 xièdào: |
| though difficult to read as it may appear, in this poem, if reads carefully, one can learn a lot about english, not to mention converting it into chinese...this is also an very important piece of his work, on life and death, unity, vision (A Vision, his other major work), related to John Keats's other works, and etc...some philosophy could well relate to chinese philosophy too... |
好吧，那就打印下来反复读啊读啊读......
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| 戴玨 ?2007-03-30 22:04:42?? | |
謝謝kokho，Lake的賞閱。
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| 戴玨 ?2007-03-30 22:24:33?? | |
| 博弈 xièdào: |
...i will put my interpretation in my other post http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=3496
and things related to translation discussion here, i strongly urge people participate in this discussion... |
我的理解已經反映到譯文中了。對於您的解讀，我已作了些評論。
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-31 10:34:52?? | |
你短时间翻触的意思已很不错了，佩服。
我看到哪就写到哪。
He had much industry at setting out,
Much boisterous courage, before loneliness
Had driven him crazed;
For meditations upon unknown thought
Make human intercourse grow less and less;
They are neither paid nor praised.
but he'd object to the host,
The glass because my glass;
A ghost-lover he was
And may have grown more arrogant being a ghost.
他當初很勤勉，
非常勇敢，那是在
孤寂把他逼瘋以前；因為
冥想未知的觀念
會使人之間的交往越來
越少；既不會有酬勞也不會
得到贊賞，但是他
會拒絕主人的敬酒，因為那是我的酒杯；
他本是個愛鬼的人，而現在做了鬼，
可能變得更加傲慢自大。
故意来挑剔几点。
为什么不用 crazy 而用 crazed？ 这中间还是有区别的。
craze
1. to derange or impair the mind of; make insane: He was crazed by jealousy.
2. to make small cracks on the surface of (a ceramic glaze, paint, or the like); crackle.
逼瘋, '逼' 字传神，疯字似乎还少了点味道。至于什么字好，我不知道，这错乱破裂如何表达？craze, glaze, glass...
（我自己在 http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=2753 也把先写的疯字在改写成英文时，一方面为了单字对称，选用 crazed， 更表达一个过程而导致的状态，而不只是一个状态如 crazy。）
'They' 没有翻倒。这些？
object to host
ghost-lover
what is a host? what is a ghost? host 在诗里,有时是可以指'身体'. 这让我又想起诗前面(stanza 3) 提到 'platonic love', 联想的他的另一首诗 "What Then?" 里说的 'Plato's ghost'. 但这里， 跟 'Plato's ghost' 显然是无关的。（我对 What Then? 附的原文及试译在
http://oson.ca/viewtopic.php?t=2382内）
intercourse 该要含 interchange of thoughts, feelings 的意思， ‘交往‘似乎简单了些。这又让我想起另一个字, know, 中古英文里有 to have sexual intercourse with 的意思, to know is to intercourse, to interchange, 这给 “I want to know you" 一个别的意思，有趣吧！
至于 ghost 翻成 鬼，或幽灵，鬼--强烈一点吧，幽灵--精神一点吧？ 我一直拿捏不定。
这段翻的意义基本上没啥可挑剔。我这些是讨论，提供参考。
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| 戴玨 ?2007-03-31 12:44:36?? | |
| 博弈 xièdào: |
| 疯字似乎还少了点味道。至于什么字好，我不知道， |
也可以翻成
把他逼得發狂以前；
這個無須翻出來。一方面中文語法即使不加主語也無礙讀者理解，二方面加了可能會限制讀者的想像力。They最有可能指meditations，但也可能指其他東西。
| 博弈 xièdào: |
| what is a host? what is a ghost? host 在诗里,有时是可以指'身体'. |
host我起初翻成了宿主，不過很難和下句連起來。後來參考了第一節的意思，翻成了現在這樣。
| 博弈 xièdào: |
| intercourse 该要含 interchange of thoughts, feelings 的意思， ‘交往‘似乎简单了些。 |
這是個好意見，現正考慮“交流”。
| 博弈 xièdào: |
至于 ghost 翻成 鬼，或幽灵，鬼--强烈一点吧，幽灵--精神一点吧？ 我一直拿捏不定。
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一句中連用兩個幽靈我覺得讀起來不順，意思也不夠明顯（而現在做了幽靈？）。
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| 博弈 ?2007-03-31 14:47:18?? | |
| 戴玨 xièdào: |
一句中連用兩個幽靈我覺得讀起來不順，意思也不夠明顯（而現在做了幽靈？）。 |
如果第一个采幽靈，第二个采鬼呢？
感觉如何？
如果要做另一个解读，human intercourse，配合host 也可以是指 灵魂与肉身的内在交流（inter), 在 after 'loneliness' 字。会不会隐含这个意思？因为 glass 不只是单纯的酒杯，是一个承载的容器 （我怀疑这两个 glasses, "The glass because of my glass" 意义是不同的。）
再挑剔一个，paid, 也是双面字，回报较通性广义些。
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