北美楓文集

Lake

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?????2007-01-09

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???the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

胡礼忠2010-11-15 05:21:45

拜访老师、颂冬祺！

Lake2010-01-16 09:05:12

Thank you.

我家三儿2010-01-07 05:21:39

我叫太阳每天把幸福的阳光洒在你身上，我叫月亮每天给你一个甜美的梦境，祝愿你事事如意！ 

Lake2008-11-04 11:04:13

Thanks.

hepingdao2008-11-04 10:52:29

congratulations!
and you can configure to show or not to show those articles from bbs
西方文学　Western Literature
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Haiku (61-70)

61
children play nearby
a snake slithers out of bush
I hold my breath

62
dis, dat, de other
that’s getting too technical
let’s play tic- tac-toe

63
stop, turn and listen—
the sound of stillness
a tranquil mind

64
Daffodils dancing -
Wordsworth wandering lonely
in the golden sea

65
Look in vain in mirror
Life’s not to find who we are
But create ourselves

66
Sentences shattered
like the bridge collapsed in MN
shivering in shock

67
Avoiding red dust
He hides in the deep mountains
Reading by a creek

68
scattered reflections
even though recollected
hard to smooth the scar

69
Read by a candle
he fell asleep—a snow fox
in his fantasy

70
Around the corner
a branch of cherry blossoms
heralds a new spring

2007-08-27 13:43:49
引用並回復
hepingdao ?2007-08-27 15:47:31?? 引用並回復


simplicity is a form of beauty

_________________
閱覽成員資料     hepingdao北美楓文集
kokho ?2007-08-28 11:16:05?? 引用並回復


63
stop, turn and listen—
the sound of stillness
a tranquil mind 　　　　［a turmoil mind?　］

64
Daffodils dancing -
Wordsworth wandering lonely
in the golden sea 　　　［through buzzing insects? ］

65
Look in vain in mirror
Life’s not to find who we are [ you see but a compromise ]
But create ourselves [ lineage versus want ]

67
Avoiding red dust
He hides in the deep mountains
Reading by a creek !!!!! good

69
Read by a candle
he fell asleep—a snow fox
in his fantasy [is his trembling brow]

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閱覽成員資料     kokho北美楓文集
Lake ?2007-08-28 19:29:30?? 引用並回復


hepingdao 寫到:
simplicity is a form of beauty


Thanks for stopping by and dropping the minimal words.

_________________
閱覽成員資料     Lake北美楓文集
Lake ?2007-08-28 19:45:32?? 引用並回復


kokho 寫到:
63
stop, turn and listen—
the sound of stillness
a tranquil mind 　　　　［a turmoil mind?　］


Both will do, though with a different state of mind, I think.

kokho 寫到:
64
Daffodils dancing -
Wordsworth wandering lonely
in the golden sea 　　　［through buzzing insects? ］


When I wrote this, I thought about Wordsworth's "I wandered lonely as a cloud". Thus, a golden sea of daffodils.
Yours, again will also work, but a little bit different picture.

kokho 寫到:
65
Look in vain in mirror
Life’s not to find who we are [ you see but a compromise ]
But create ourselves [ lineage versus want ]


This one really makes me think hard. A lot of times, we do compromise, don't we?

kokho 寫到:
67
Avoiding red dust
He hides in the deep mountains
Reading by a creek !!!!! good


Used "Red Dust" on purpose. Laughing

kokho 寫到:
69
Read by a candle
he fell asleep—a snow fox
in his fantasy [is his trembling brow]


[is his trembling brow] Question

Thanks for your time and detailed comments.
Any suggestions as how to improve?

_________________
閱覽成員資料     Lake北美楓文集
kokho ?2007-08-28 22:37:46?? 引用並回復


Lake 寫到:
kokho 寫到:
63
stop, turn and listen—
the sound of stillness
a tranquil mind 　　　　［a turmoil mind?　］


< a turmoiling mind > 5-7-5 {you need the surprise Smile }

Both will do, though with a different state of mind, I think.

kokho 寫到:
64
Daffodils dancing -
Wordsworth wandering lonely
in the golden sea 　　　［through buzzing insects? ］


When I wrote this, I thought about Wordsworth's "I wandered lonely as a cloud". Thus, a golden sea of daffodils.
Yours, again will also work, but a little bit different picture.

< you always need the surprise and insight on the last line ! >

kokho 寫到:
65
Look in vain in mirror
Life’s not to find who we are [ you see but a compromise ]
But create ourselves [ lineage versus want ]


This one really makes me think hard. A lot of times, we do compromise, don't we?

< It is all about the thought process which the haiku invokes.. >

kokho 寫到:
67
Avoiding red dust
He hides in the deep mountains
Reading by a creek !!!!! good


Used "Red Dust" on purpose. Laughing

kokho 寫到:
69
Read by a candle
he fell asleep—a snow fox
in his fantasy [is his trembling brow]


[is his trembling brow] Question

< 1 - state of his mind ; 2 - the brow is the white fox !!! >

Thanks for your time and detailed comments.
Any suggestions as how to improve?



Knock your head ! ... and then say "bang" ;0

One does not write Haiku to depict... in contra haiku is to shock !!

.

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閱覽成員資料     kokho北美楓文集
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-29 15:50:33?? 引用並回復


I am so interested in your discussions,thank you!

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閱覽成員資料     William Zhou周道模北美楓文集
Lake ?2007-08-29 18:01:00?? 引用並回復


William Zhou周道模 寫到:
I am so interested in your discussions,thank you!


Please join in!

_________________
閱覽成員資料     Lake北美楓文集
Lake ?2007-08-29 18:34:17?? 引用並回復


跟着偷懒，涂红了。

kokho 寫到:
Lake 寫到:
kokho 寫到:
63
stop, turn and listen—
the sound of stillness
a tranquil mind 　　　　［a turmoil mind?　］


< a turmoiling mind > 5-7-5 {you need the surprise Smile }

Both will do, though with a different state of mind, I think.

' a tranquil mind' is focused on 'tranquility', so even in silence a person with such mind can hear the sound. 'a turmoil mind' is a sharp contrast of calmness, disturbing, the activity of the mind is like the undercurrent under the calm water..

kokho 寫到:
64
Daffodils dancing -
Wordsworth wandering lonely
in the golden sea 　　　［through buzzing insects? ］


When I wrote this, I thought about Wordsworth's "I wandered lonely as a cloud". Thus, a golden sea of daffodils.
Yours, again will also work, but a little bit different picture.

[color=green]< you always need the surprise and insight on the last line ! >

'a golden sea' is pretty predictable - a field of daffodils.
"through buzzing insects" IS a surprising line where one can also feel the action - the bees, butterflies ...are stirred and take off.

kokho 寫到:
65
Look in vain in mirror
Life’s not to find who we are [ you see but a compromise ]
But create ourselves [ lineage versus want ]


This one really makes me think hard. A lot of times, we do compromise, don't we?

< It is all about the thought process which the haiku invokes.. >

Different people see different things looking into the mirror...

kokho 寫到:
67
Avoiding red dust
He hides in the deep mountains
Reading by a creek !!!!! good


Used "Red Dust" on purpose. Laughing

kokho 寫到:
69
Read by a candle
he fell asleep—a snow fox
in his fantasy [is his trembling brow]


[is his trembling brow] Question

< 1 - state of his mind ; 2 - the brow is the white fox !!! >

Multi meanings - yeah, the state of the mind, the brow (a kind of scary lol)

Thanks for your time and detailed comments.
Any suggestions as how to improve?



Knock your head ! ... and then say "bang" ;0

Don't knock too hard, that's going to make one dizzy .

One does not write Haiku to depict... in contra haiku is to shock !![/color]

.


Thanks for the frequent reminder.

_________________
閱覽成員資料     Lake北美楓文集
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-09-17 02:06:00?? 引用並回復


回 Lake:
我 8 月 30 日去了新疆，现在才回来，所以未能加入讨论，遗憾！

_________________
閱覽成員資料     William Zhou周道模北美楓文集
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