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William Zhou周道模

???中国四川广汉

?????332?

?????2007-06-10

???教师

???文学 音乐 旅游

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?????http://ghzhoudaomo.blog.163.com/edit/

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???诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

河东阳升2009-10-13 15:59:04

读周道模
为良好的外语而感佩
问好

霞客行2008-07-18 15:16:12

拜访并问好周道模老师,谢谢您给予我写作方面真诚的意见与建议,在今后的写作与学习中会更加注意的.

William Zhou周道模2008-04-21 05:54:45

欢迎文友参观我在网易上的博客:
ghzhoudaomo.blog.163.com

现代诗歌
散文游记
西方文学 Western Literature
發錶新帖   回復帖子
【汉英微型诗】彩 虹

彩 虹

我挂下七色云梯……

来接苦难的灵魂……

Rainbow

I let down the colorful ladder

to take the suffering souls

2009-8-4上午 竹林

2010-02-06 20:39:28
引用並回復
SLIU ?2010-02-07 01:06:53?? 引用並回復


丰富的想像力。。

I let down a colorful ladder
for those who suffer (为了押韵)
或者: for the suffering souls

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閱覽成員資料     SLIU北美楓文集
William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-07 08:13:10?? 引用並回復


sliu6 寫到:
丰富的想像力。。

I let down a colorful ladder
for the souls who suffer


thank you for encouraging me ! glad to read your translation.

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非马 ?2010-02-08 08:06:22?? 引用並回復


虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
for the suffering souls

题目与诗本身加个空行更醒目

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Lake ?2010-02-08 09:18:31?? 引用並回復


非马 寫到:
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...


I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.

Any thought on this?

Best

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閱覽成員資料     Lake北美楓文集
非马 ?2010-02-08 10:26:28?? 引用並回復


Lake 寫到:
非马 寫到:
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...


I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.
...

Not only for the sake of simplicity, in my mind the "ing" also gives the sense of the presence and continuation of human suffering.

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Lake ?2010-02-08 10:56:44?? 引用並回復


Good point. And immediacy. Thanks.

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非马 ?2010-02-08 13:53:43?? 引用並回復


Lake 寫到:
Good point. And immediacy. Thanks.

Yes, you are right.

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William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-08 19:21:00?? 引用並回復


非马 寫到:
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
...



非马老师的意见好!拙译为了“押韵”,搞出一个从句来了。

请问老师:当代英语诗基本不押韵了吗?

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William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-08 19:26:37?? 引用並回復


Lake 寫到:
非马 寫到:
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用

for the suffering souls
...


I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.
...


thank Lake for discussion!

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