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子花

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?????08 Mar 2007

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现代诗歌
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累了贴首去睡觉!!《别》前辈们多批评

《别》

落了 落了
你像秋天剩余的一滴泪水
点在初冬的眉上
空气沸腾了
一个呆立的姿势反复地被浇烫

落了
落了
真的落了
泥土不仅像流水
更像大海

2007-12-01 11:31:10
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白水 ?2007-12-01 18:05:06?? Reply with quote


别别 Very Happy

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View user's profile     白水Collection
赵福治 ?2007-12-01 18:52:36?? Reply with quote


泥土不仅像流水
更像大海....递进.

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View user's profile     赵福治Collection
迪拜 ?2007-12-01 19:14:30?? Reply with quote


需要进一步理解

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View user's profile     迪拜Collection
子花 ?2007-12-07 17:45:17?? Reply with quote


迪拜 wrote:
需要进一步理解

我想做到用诗歌本身的结构说话!现在还做得不够好,可能就会显得空了点!!谢谢迪拜

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View user's profile     子花Collection
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