Maplereview Collections

顾小花

???中国南京

?????17?

?????23 Aug 2007

?????Send private message

?????Send e-mail

Find all posts by 顾小花

???春风吹又生:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1285636777

现代诗歌
西方文学 Western Literature
Post new topic   Reply to topic
解脱(中英文对照)

《解脱》
顾小花(中国/南京)

今晚,我要整理一些月光
让所有的水,穿过十月的瞳孔
岸边不要停船
只是,芦苇还在摇摆

我是泅渡的人,两手空空
去年数过的星星不再出现
黑夜还在怀里,没了喋喋不休
天空从腹部悄然打开

这个季节适合放逐
远去的花朵没有留下颜色
文字苍白,泛着柔弱的香味
去和留,都是一种幸福


Disengagement
by Gu Xiaohua ( from Nanjing,China )

Tonight I will put some moonlight in order
Let all of water go straight through the pupils of October
Don't stay boats at the side of beach
Just reeds wobble still there

I'm a person by swimming, and nothing with me
Some stars I remembered last year can’t reappear
Night still in mind and none of endless talking
Sky in the belly with quiet unfolding

This season is comfortable to banish
And the flowers far away aren't leaving color behind
The pale characters distribute tenellous fragrant smells
Going and staying are happiness

2007-11-12 02:15:14
Reply with quote
jemmy ?2007-11-12 04:37:32?? Reply with quote


好好学习,前途光明

_________________
View user's profile     jemmyCollection
William Zhou周道模 ?2007-11-15 23:32:44?? Reply with quote


汉诗像写意画。英语似有修改的地方,如:
all of water ---- all the water ?
just reeds wobble still there ---- just the reeds are still wobbling there ? 等

_________________
View user's profile     William Zhou周道模Collection
kokho ?2007-11-18 11:20:52?? Reply with quote




很有水准的作品 :)

。。

_________________
View user's profile     kokhoCollection
赵福治 ?2007-12-26 19:53:04?? Reply with quote


我只欣赏汉语部分.问好大家.

_________________
View user's profile     赵福治Collection
kino ?2008-01-23 00:53:45?? Reply with quote


诗很好,很有感觉。翻译有些地方表意不清。
at the side of beach
——don't moor the boats in shore或者其他考虑上下文的译法
I'm a person by swimming
——I'd swim across, with nothing in hands
。。。。。

_________________
View user's profile     kinoCollection