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 赵福治《听雪》（中英文对照）
赵福治诗1首（英译）
译/童天鉴日
◎Listening to Snow
wr. by Zhao Fuzhi
I didn't think that on pure white
I can open hands like this, supporting thoughts
Sparkling and the way of mind are soaring in sky
There's no excuse, in the following old conventions
How old is the snow? No one knows
While I'm expressing the snow,
You are sitting in the plum blossoms
Listening to one of them blooming
◎ 听雪
诗/赵福治
洁白之上，想不到
手可以这样张开。托起思绪
晶莹和心路，漫天飞舞
没有借口，古老的沿袭中
雪有多老？无人而知
我这样表述雪的时候，你
正坐在梅里，听一朵花开
2007-11-04 22:02:33 |
| jemmy ?2007-11-04 22:06:33?? |  |
我还以为是你自译，以为多个伴，不想。。。
会尝试吗？
|
| 戴玨 ?2007-11-05 02:13:27?? Re: 赵福治《听雪》（中英文对照） | |
| 赵福治 wrote: |
赵福治诗1首（英译）
译/童天鉴日
◎ Listening To Snow
poetry by Zhao Fuzhi
translation by TTJR
On pure white, I couldn't miss
Opening hands just like her. Holding the thinking
Sparkling and the way of mind are flying in the sky
There are no excuses. In the flow of history
How old is she? Nobody can catch the answer
When I give some presentations to her
You are sitting in the plums
And listening to blossom
◎ 听雪
诗/赵福治
洁白之上，想不到
手可以这样张开。托起思绪
晶莹和心路，漫天飞舞
没有借口，古老的沿袭中
雪有多老？无人而知
我这样表述雪的时候，你
正坐在梅里，听一朵花开 |
想不到-I couldn't miss?
just like her多餘。
思緒或可用thoughts
沿襲的意思像是沒翻出來。
How old is she?對照原文，看完整首才明白she，her原來是指雪。譯文意思不是很清楚，不如像原文一樣用snow，而不是用代詞。
Nobody can catch the answer不如簡單地翻成No one knows。
When I give some presentations to her 這句的意思是
當我向她作陳述，和原文意思相左。
听一朵花开，可考慮譯為listening to a blossom blooming。
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-11-13 15:51:57?? | |
戴先生评改得很好了,同意.
|
| 赵福治 ?2007-11-13 18:20:24?? | |
| jemmy wrote: |
我还以为是你自译，以为多个伴，不想。。。
会尝试吗？ |
我可不会翻译，问好了。
|
| 赵福治 ?2007-11-13 18:21:16?? Re: 赵福治《听雪》（中英文对照） | |
| 戴玨 wrote: |
| 赵福治 wrote: |
赵福治诗1首（英译）
译/童天鉴日
◎ Listening To Snow
poetry by Zhao Fuzhi
translation by TTJR
On pure white, I couldn't miss
Opening hands just like her. Holding the thinking
Sparkling and the way of mind are flying in the sky
There are no excuses. In the flow of history
How old is she? Nobody can catch the answer
When I give some presentations to her
You are sitting in the plums
And listening to blossom
◎ 听雪
诗/赵福治
洁白之上，想不到
手可以这样张开。托起思绪
晶莹和心路，漫天飞舞
没有借口，古老的沿袭中
雪有多老？无人而知
我这样表述雪的时候，你
正坐在梅里，听一朵花开 |
想不到-I couldn't miss?
just like her多餘。
思緒或可用thoughts
沿襲的意思像是沒翻出來。
How old is she?對照原文，看完整首才明白she，her原來是指雪。譯文意思不是很清楚，不如像原文一樣用snow，而不是用代詞。
Nobody can catch the answer不如簡單地翻成No one knows。
When I give some presentations to her 這句的意思是
當我向她作陳述，和原文意思相左。
听一朵花开，可考慮譯為listening to a blossom blooming。 |
感谢兄。握手。
|
| 赵福治 ?2007-11-13 18:22:27?? | |
| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
| 戴先生评改得很好了,同意. |
麻烦兄给编辑修改一下，多谢。
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-11-13 21:17:45?? | |
赵君有令，小生上前；权作尝试，专家指点。
Listening to Snow
wr. by Zhao Fuzhi
I didn't think that on pure white
I can open hands like this, supporting thoughts
Sparkling and the way of mind are soaring in sky
There's no excuse, in the following old conventions
How old is the snow? No one knows
While I'm expressing the snow,
You are sitting in the plum blossoms
Listening to one of them blooming
|
| 赵福治 ?2007-11-13 23:29:10?? | |
| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
赵君有令，小生上前；权作尝试，专家指点。
Listening to Snow
wr. by Zhao Fuzhi
I didn't think that on pure white
I can open hands like this, supporting thoughts
Sparkling and the way of mind are soaring in sky
There's no excuse, in the following old conventions
How old is the snow? No one knows
While I'm expressing the snow,
You are sitting in the plum blossoms
Listening to one of them blooming |
感谢，就按兄编辑的，我把上面的编辑一下，握手。
|
| kokho ?2007-11-18 11:22:39?? | |
。
喜欢 中文的版本多些 ：）
。。
|
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