| 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
|
 Haiku (51-60)
51
the rapids run wild
like an unbridled horse
gulls hover above
52
the shark hunts
the fish run
swirls of bloody water
53
a smile breaks free
thus a nirvana attained
content in thatched house
54
inside old dogs
are all old tricks
no room for new
55
safe in his locker
he fumbled to smoke a pot
as a lone owl cried
56
I hear her sing
her song knocks open my heart
on that very night
57
the following day
a cock crows to the new sun
moon down, life goes on
58
new born eagle
waits in nest
watching mom fly
59
after the deluge
a wrecked boat afloat
her master unseen
60
the nest
made of twigs and leaves
heaven to birdies
感觉越来越粗糙了
2007-08-20 12:50:05 |
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-21 02:33:27?? |  |
要向你学习：多用短语、倒装等手法，这样语句才会丰富。第57首音韵效果特别好！
|
| kokho ?2007-08-21 10:37:55?? | |
59
after the deluge
a wrecked boat afloat
her master unseen
55
safe in his locker
he fumbled to smoke a pot
as a lone owl cried
57
the following day
a cock crows to the new sun
moon down, life goes on
53
a smile breaks free
thus a nirvana attained
content in thatched house
《》ｒａｎｋｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ａｔｔａｉｎｍｅｎｔ ；）
．
|
| Lake ?2007-08-21 12:39:23?? | |
| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
| 要向你学习：多用短语、倒装等手法，这样语句才会丰富。第57首音韵效果特别好！ |
谢谢！向其他人多学吧，我还在用walker学走路。
再读57, 为何你觉得音韵效果好呢？
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| Lake ?2007-08-21 12:42:10?? | |
| kokho wrote: |
59
after the deluge
a wrecked boat afloat
her master unseen
55
safe in his locker
he fumbled to smoke a pot
as a lone owl cried
57
the following day
a cock crows to the new sun
moon down, life goes on
53
a smile breaks free
thus a nirvana attained
content in thatched house
《》ｒａｎｋｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ａｔｔａｉｎｍｅｎｔ ；）
． |
55， again a pleasant surprise!
Thanks much!
.
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2007-08-21 18:32:58?? | |
当然也要向其他几位学习，向所有提意见的朋友学习。我是特指你批评我句式的单一，我今后用英语写作时会特别注意。
你的57音韵效果一读一听就出来了： sun ... down ... on !
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| kokho ?2007-08-22 11:34:40?? | |
he fumbled to smoke a pot
as a lone owl cried
《》The contrast and surprise of choice of imagery 
..
|
| Lake ?2007-08-22 16:27:38?? | |
| William Zhou周道模 wrote: |
你的57音韵效果一读一听就出来了： sun ... down ... on ! |
不错 。 还有 cock crows
可是写的时候，并没刻意。
|
| Lake ?2007-08-23 09:56:42?? | |
| kokho wrote: |
he fumbled to smoke a pot
as a lone owl cried
《》The contrast and surprise of choice of imagery
.. |
yeah, the contrast, the imagery
一种烘托
Thanks,
|
| kokho ?2007-08-27 12:01:22?? | |
Some more please
..
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