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Maplereview Collections
白水
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???TORONTO
?????543?
?????02 Oct 2006
???Dancing, Swimming, Writing, Reading
????? ?????月光泉 Find all posts by 白水 冷雨2011-10-06 02:16:37问好临屏！
我想看到的就是古韵袅袅，其他的对我并不重要。 冷雨2010-12-24 06:15:09问候白水，圣诞节快乐！！
清源留字 亿七维2010-05-29 13:43:04问好白水！ 李盈枝2009-12-17 01:10:58过来拜读先生的新诗佳作，希望能从中汲取营养，以提高自己旧体诗词的习作水平。顺便向先生问好并致意。 君山楚女2009-11-22 15:55:12问候白水忘年兄。读您的作品，主我眼前一亮，慧心灵动。一篇好作品，一个好老师，确实能点破愚顽。 梦之2009-08-19 14:44:54向姐姐问好！ 很欣赏你的作品。
梦之 zmj1662009-08-17 02:34:36问好白水！ 万春来2009-06-13 16:49:42问候白水兄，前来问候！ 莹雪2009-06-07 16:35:14问好姐姐  |
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| 现代诗歌 | | 宾至如归 | | 古韵新音 | | 联赛专刊编辑小组 | | 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
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 At the moment
At the moment
A voice that whispers to me is from nowhere
"Never be sad of the moments
when a cat cries in the midnight
even it jumps into your yard."
the voice that whispers to me is from heaven
"Never be sad of the moments
when a snake bits you suddenly where you are walking alone a trail
even its mouth contains poison."
oh, my friends
at the moment, please say Cheers to red wine
sweet or bitter!
2013-03-30 12:42:30 |
| William Zhou周道模 ?2013-03-30 20:28:21?? |  |
学习白水君！
请教一个问题：第一句中的“that”起什么作用？
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| qinghongh ?2013-03-31 04:23:34?? | |
白水兄的英文诗读来有韵味了！
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| SLIU ?2013-03-31 10:03:31?? | |
“let us drink, no matter how sweet or bitter ”
Cheers!
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| hepingdao ?2013-03-31 10:55:43?? | |
A sound whispers to me:
"Don't be sad, even though a cat cries in your backyard at midnight."
It whispers again:
"Don't feel unfortunate, even when a snake gives you a poisonous bite on a trail."
oh, my friends, please say Cheers to red wine, sweet or bitter!
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| 白水 ?2013-04-03 22:40:00?? | |
Hi, my friends. Thanks all of you for your comments, question, encourage, and suggestions. I changed my poem a little.
“let us drink, no matter how sweet or bitter ”
Cheers!
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| Lake ?2013-04-05 02:27:05?? | |
Hi Moonlight,
If I dare to make a point - the revision is a bit wordy as compared to your Chinese poems which are always succinct.
Cheers,
Lake
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| 白水 ?2013-04-05 05:32:22?? | |
Hi, Lake
As a writer or reader, everyone, every time has a different feeling. I feel the same when I read your poems. Maybe I will write a simple poem next time, such as：床前明月光 
Have nice weekend:g1:
Baishui
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| Lake ?2013-04-05 06:33:48?? | |
| Quote: |
| I feel the same when I read your poems. |
Did you mean you think my poems are wordy, too? 
True, in a sense. Some of my poems are narrative, others are leaning towards prose, that is, prosaic. But even so, they are not immune to critique of being wordy, let alone those short poems.
| Quote: |
| Maybe I will write a simple poem next time, such as：床前明月光 |
That's not what I meant. If you have a closer look at hepingdao's suggestion (you don't have to take it, of course), hopefully, you will understand what I was trying to say. Just want to be helpful, really.
A nice weekend to you, too.
Lake
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| 白水 ?2013-04-05 11:13:46?? | |
yes, sometimes 
I know what you mean. I wish you could understand that sometimes the writer would like to write a sentence such as 床前明月光 ，sometimes she/he want to say 银色的月光洒在我的床前，or 哦!银色的月光像下凡的玉兔儿酣睡在你的床前. 你好可爱，忍不住开个玩笑. sorry:P
Never mind, thank you a lots for discussing with me, you are a very nice person.
Friendly regards
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