| 现代诗歌 |
| 落尘诗社 |
| 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
|
 床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡。
床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡。
1 八音節帶韻
Before my bed a moonlight land
I thought frost had come on the sand
Head raised, I gaze at the bright moon
Head bowed, I think of my homeland
2 五音節帶韻
bed front moonlight grown
thought t'was frost on ground
head up watch moon glows
head down home un-found
which one you like more?
or, you have another one.
2010-11-16 10:08:52 |
| Lake ?2010-11-16 11:39:10?? |  |
是谁的译作？
五音節帶韻 的 是直译，和中文一样没主语。我想讲英文的人会比较喜欢那八音節帶韻 的。
带了韵的有时就会有限制，有一种只好这样了的感觉。如：
I thought frost had come on the sand
尾韵 sand ,一下把我带到了沙滩。
随便说说。
|
| 博弈 ?2010-11-16 12:37:23?? | |
”诗人已死“
客观探讨，提了诗人名反而放不开。
来自两位不同的人的翻译。
|
| 博弈 ?2010-11-16 13:05:26?? | |
Google 翻译版。
Moonlight, the suspect
is frost on the floor.
Raise my eyes to the moon,
looking down and think of home.
|
| Lake ?2010-11-16 15:12:35?? | |
| 博弈 wrote: |
””诗人已死“
客观探讨，提了诗人名反而放不开。
来自两位不同的人的翻译。
... |
不提名，这样好。不过至少知道不是博弈弈的了? 
感觉翻译上是下了工夫的。
|
| Lake ?2010-11-16 15:14:59?? | |
| 博弈 wrote: |
Google 翻译版。
... |
一些学生已经用这种方法交作文了。
|
| 博弈 ?2010-11-16 17:00:19?? | |
| Lake wrote: |
| 博弈 wrote: |
””诗人已死“
客观探讨，提了诗人名反而放不开。
来自两位不同的人的翻译。
... |
不提名，这样好。不过至少知道不是博弈弈的了?
... |
不是我的，是一位朋友欲与
一位剑桥《国际名人录》,芝加哥《世界名人录》里的诗人的
翻译比对，问我意见。知道出处的也请不要提名字。
想看看其它更客观与直言的看法。
|
| Lake ?2010-11-16 17:19:15?? | |
是只想听听华人的看法呢还是任何人的看法？ 我的说了。
|
| 博弈 ?2010-11-16 17:32:47?? | |
润和人嗫。
任何人啊。 
|
| Lake ?2010-11-18 18:44:13?? | |
| 博弈 wrote: |
润和人嗫。
任何人啊。 |
From D:
Before my bed a moonlight land - would "moonlit" be better?
I thought frost had come on the sand - this reads a little strangely, although the meaning is clear
Head raised, I gaze at the bright moon
Head bowed, I think of my homeland - both those lines are nice!
I prefer that to the second one.
From G:
It's hard to choose.
Don't use "t'was" - it's a hundreds of years out-of-date expression.
How about something like -
Before my bed a moonlit land
It looks like frost is on the ground
With my head up, the moon is glowing
With my head down home is invisible ?
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