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丘河

???科尔沁vs庄周故里

?????57?

?????08 Apr 2008

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?????http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiuhehe>

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???陪情感在哲理中流淌——

现代诗歌
古韵新音
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雪中闻笛(七律)

雪中闻笛


幽梦一帘转醒来,不觉耳热喜颜开。

推窗展眼瞧朦际,越栊粘棂入暖怀。

坐看西风吹雪密,卧思霰珠覆城白。

忽维北寓闻笛语,借问谁人起故哀。

2008.11.13

http://blog.sina.com.cn/qiuhehe

2008-11-12 21:29:45
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qinghongh ?2008-11-13 08:25:40?? Reply with quote


“落”是动词,“白”是形容词,对仗可再推敲。

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View user's profile     qinghonghCollection
丘河 ?2008-11-17 05:12:42?? Reply with quote


谢谢朋友的指点,大致改了一下,严格上并不是对仗很工整!多多学习了!

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View user's profile     丘河Collection
qinghongh ?2008-11-18 08:28:55?? Reply with quote


改后好多了。

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View user's profile     qinghonghCollection
丘河 ?2008-11-28 00:03:32?? Reply with quote


多谢朋友指点,再谢!! thanks

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View user's profile     丘河Collection
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