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言无醉

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?????21 Aug 2008

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古韵新音
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长城咏(沁园春)

北望京畿,雁叫霜天,故垒计年。踏晨风拾上,万山涌近,雄关据险,烽哨节绵。印述青石,剑痕壁楚,金戈马鸣绕耳前。狼烟底,散几多忠骨,王志新圆。
俨然壮烈诗暄,衍无际星空光灿旋。褒秦皇大统,奠基疆历。汉唐明宋,道主兴颠。赢此脊梁,族心苦就,百载荣耻春满边。呼风雨,送高歌一曲,聊系帛娟。

2008-08-21 21:24:59
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戴玨 ?2008-08-22 03:51:06?? Reply with quote


金戈马鸣绕耳前
褒秦皇大统
百载荣耻春满边

這幾句平仄不對。

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言无醉 ?2008-08-23 21:09:31?? Reply with quote


谢指正。“褒”字确为平音,误用仄音。当改。

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