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冷雨

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?????05 Nov 2010

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古韵新音
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柳堤【六绝•新韵】

碧柳丝垂野溪,枝莺婉啭鸣啼。
群童喜戏堤岸,奏响声声乐笛。

2013-03-31 15:10:49
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桃园郎 ?2013-03-31 22:40:46?? Reply with quote


声画明了

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白云闲人 ?2013-03-31 23:39:39?? Reply with quote


垂柳、莺啼、童戏、笛声,娓娓动人!

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白水 ?2013-04-01 02:43:52?? Reply with quote


来读雨,问好

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qinghongh ?2013-04-01 05:20:42?? Reply with quote


春意盎然

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黄洋界 ?2013-04-01 06:32:59?? Reply with quote


用词凝练而不失形象,欣赏!
“喜”字恐为“嬉”之误。

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冷雨 ?2013-04-01 11:29:07?? Reply with quote


问好各位诗友!谢谢点评!

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冷雨 ?2013-04-01 12:30:26?? Reply with quote


冷雨 wrote:
问好各位老师!谢谢点评!


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冰清 ?2013-04-16 00:32:17?? Reply with quote


生动传神,节奏也明快!

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笑聊 ?2013-04-16 20:30:04?? Reply with quote


笛,入声,按平水韵属仄声,如按中华新韵则属平声。则需注明(新韵)

柳字重复了,看能否替换一下。

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