| 现代诗歌 |
| 散文游记 |
| 西方文学 Western Literature |
 
|
 【汉英微型诗】彩 虹
彩 虹
我挂下七色云梯……
来接苦难的灵魂……
Rainbow
I let down the colorful ladder
to take the suffering souls
2009-8-4上午 竹林
2010-02-06 20:39:28 |
| SLIU ?2010-02-07 01:06:53?? |  |
丰富的想像力。。
I let down a colorful ladder
for those who suffer (为了押韵）
或者： for the suffering souls
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-07 08:13:10?? | |
| sliu6 wrote: |
丰富的想像力。。
I let down a colorful ladder
for the souls who suffer |
thank you for encouraging me ! glad to read your translation.
|
| 非马 ?2010-02-08 08:06:22?? | |
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
for the suffering souls
题目与诗本身加个空行更醒目
|
| Lake ?2010-02-08 09:18:31?? | |
| 非马 wrote: |
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
for the suffering souls
... |
I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.
Any thought on this?
Best
|
| 非马 ?2010-02-08 10:26:28?? | |
| Lake wrote: |
| 非马 wrote: |
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
for the suffering souls
... |
I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.
... |
Not only for the sake of simplicity, in my mind the "ing" also gives the sense of the presence and continuation of human suffering.
|
| Lake ?2010-02-08 10:56:44?? | |
Good point. And immediacy. Thanks.
|
| 非马 ?2010-02-08 13:53:43?? | |
| Lake wrote: |
| Good point. And immediacy. Thanks. |
Yes, you are right.
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-08 19:21:00?? | |
| 非马 wrote: |
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
... |
非马老师的意见好！拙译为了“押韵”，搞出一个从句来了。
请问老师：当代英语诗基本不押韵了吗？
|
| William Zhou周道模 ?2010-02-08 19:26:37?? | |
| Lake wrote: |
| 非马 wrote: |
虽然for the souls who suffer 也没什么不好, 但我也许会用
for the suffering souls
... |
I'm with Mr. Fei Ma. The first time I read it I had the same thought. I guess it is that "less is more", "simple is better" approach that drives me to use an adjective instead of a clause when the adjective works.
... |
thank Lake for discussion!
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