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白水

???TORONTO

?????543?

?????02 Oct 2006

???Dancing, Swimming, Writing, Reading

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?????月光泉

Find all posts by 白水

冷雨2011-10-06 02:16:37

问好临屏!
我想看到的就是古韵袅袅,其他的对我并不重要。

冷雨2010-12-24 06:15:09

问候白水,圣诞节快乐!!
清源留字

飞翔2010-10-23 18:06:10

问好! thanks byebye byebye byebye

亿七维2010-05-29 13:43:04

问好白水!

李盈枝2009-12-17 01:10:58

过来拜读先生的新诗佳作,希望能从中汲取营养,以提高自己旧体诗词的习作水平。顺便向先生问好并致意。

君山楚女2009-11-22 15:55:12

问候白水忘年兄。读您的作品,主我眼前一亮,慧心灵动。一篇好作品,一个好老师,确实能点破愚顽。

梦之2009-08-19 14:44:54

向姐姐问好! 很欣赏你的作品。

梦之

zmj1662009-08-17 02:34:36

问好白水!

万春来2009-06-13 16:49:42

问候白水兄,前来问候!

莹雪2009-06-07 16:35:14

问好姐姐 thanks

现代诗歌
宾至如归
古韵新音
联赛专刊编辑小组
西方文学 Western Literature
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The Winter Carry Within ……

The Winter Carry Within ……

Who whispers but does not speak
I know that you are here
and hiding your weep in the shadow
you do not want me turnabout
but I can feel how much you are wounded
for the garden was desolation
without flower but chilly

oh, my industrious gardener
let us sweep the tear
wait,
please wait
if winter has come
the spring will be come back soon

2006-12-12 20:28:13
Reply with quote
hepingdao ?2006-12-12 20:52:09?? Reply with quote


but I can feel how much you are wounded
Very Happy

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View user's profile     hepingdaoCollection
白水 ?2006-12-13 08:57:23?? Reply with quote


hepingdao wrote:
but I can feel how much you are wounded
Very Happy


YOU ARE SO SMART Wink

_________________
View user's profile     白水Collection
kokho ?2006-12-13 10:49:51?? Reply with quote


给老外看看 ;))

有点中国化。。。

。。

_________________
View user's profile     kokhoCollection
白水 ?2006-12-13 17:18:42?? Reply with quote


谢谢你指出不足. 这首诗歌是贴老外网上了, 遗憾的是他们只帮我纠正了两个SPELLING . 然后就是这类评语:

Hi,

I sure like this poem. It plays with the language in a very creative way. Meanings seem to shift. Green-draped mystery is cajoled in the first stanza. The poem reaches out and grabs with tendrils of jungle vine. There's some sort of heartbreak, but I can't figure out what. Anyway, it's got mystery. Thanks for the posting.

Best, Auto

THAT IS WHY I POST THE POEM IN HERE, AND WASH TO GET SOME SUGGESTIONS

_________________
View user's profile     白水Collection
kokho ?2006-12-13 20:25:18?? Reply with quote


给你的英文老师 看看 :))

我经常写了初稿,也找老外看了才发表。。。

我自己也带了有色眼镜;

It plays with the language in a very creative way. Meanings seem to shift.

《》这可能是 老外看了中文句子的反应,也可能你是成功了!!!

。。

_________________
View user's profile     kokhoCollection
白水 ?2006-12-13 20:43:25?? Reply with quote


kokho wrote:
给你的英文老师 看看 :))

我经常写了初稿,也找老外看了才发表。。。

我自己也带了有色眼镜;

It plays with the language in a very creative way. Meanings seem to shift.

《》这可能是 老外看了中文句子的反应,也可能你是成功了!!!

。。


圣诞节快到了, 不好再打搅老师了. 再开学又要换老师, 好景不长 Crying or Very sad

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View user's profile     白水Collection
kokho ?2006-12-13 21:03:49?? Reply with quote


月光 wrote:


圣诞节快到了, 不好再打搅老师了. 再开学又要换老师, 好景不长 Crying or Very sad




找个老外当蓝颜知己,好像汤姆、克鲁斯 那种 ;)

一举两得 。。。


。。

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View user's profile     kokhoCollection
张南城 ?2009-08-15 22:55:57?? Reply with quote


kokho wrote:
给你的英文老师 看看 :))
...


中国人以自己的文化底蕴和思维习惯用英语结构诗歌的语句,是不是反而可以让英文母语国家的人觉得更新颖和别致呢?请教。

_________________
View user's profile     张南城Collection
张南城 ?2009-08-18 04:56:50?? Reply with quote


我试着翻译了,(只我的理解。对否?)贴在这。


冬日的呢喃


只是

轻柔的飒飒声

飘然过耳

没有言语

我知道你



在一块角落的阴影中

低泣

你无意让我靠近

可我真切地感觉到

没了园圃没了鲜花的

萧瑟

雪雨瀌瀌

荒芜与严寒

已让你遍体伤鳞





我勤勉的园丁

让我为你

擦去泪水



我们坚信地

等待

冬日已至

春日不远

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View user's profile     张南城Collection
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