解脱（中英文对照）

[顾小花]

《解脱》
顾小花（中国/南京）

今晚，我要整理一些月光
让所有的水，穿过十月的瞳孔
岸边不要停船
只是，芦苇还在摇摆

我是泅渡的人，两手空空
去年数过的星星不再出现
黑夜还在怀里，没了喋喋不休
天空从腹部悄然打开

这个季节适合放逐
远去的花朵没有留下颜色
文字苍白，泛着柔弱的香味
去和留，都是一种幸福


Disengagement
by Gu Xiaohua ( from Nanjing,China )

Tonight I will put some moonlight in order
Let all of water go straight through the pupils of October
Don't stay boats at the side of beach
Just reeds wobble still there

I'm a person by swimming, and nothing with me
Some stars I remembered last year can’t reappear
Night still in mind and none of endless talking
Sky in the belly with quiet unfolding

This season is comfortable to banish
And the flowers far away aren't leaving color behind
The pale characters distribute tenellous fragrant smells
Going and staying are happiness
_________________
春风吹又生:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1285636777

[jemmy]

好好学习,前途光明
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[William Zhou周道模]

汉诗像写意画。英语似有修改的地方，如：
all of water ---- all the water ?
just reeds wobble still there ---- just the reeds are still wobbling there ? 等
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[kokho]

。

很有水准的作品 ：）

。。
_________________
乒乓、摄影、诗歌

[赵福治]

我只欣赏汉语部分.问好大家.

[kino]

诗很好，很有感觉。翻译有些地方表意不清。
at the side of beach
——don't moor the boats in shore或者其他考虑上下文的译法
I'm a person by swimming
——I'd swim across, with nothing in hands
。。。。。