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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

六月的麦田

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-07 06:47:01 Post subject: 六月的麦田

六月的麦田文/天淡云闲六月，风说着情话抚过丰满的麦田麦穗打开羞涩于农民上扬的语调里收获一镰之缘我激情的手指播响季节的琴弦抑扬顿挫中解读岁月的漂染如今，麦田沉甸甸我留下一首虚空的诗坐回窗前

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-06-07 07:05:47 Post subject:

我激情的手指播响季节的琴弦抑扬顿挫中解读岁月的漂染暗扣写诗倒是很自然 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

韩少君
进士出身

Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection

Posted: 2007-06-07 14:31:11 Post subject:

如今，麦田沉甸甸我留下一首虚空的诗坐回窗前谁家风筝吹断线，落在画堂西。你的窗子面向麦田，麦芒痒痒地爬上窗台—— _________________ 靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345

杨海军
进士出身

Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection

Posted: 2007-06-07 17:33:18 Post subject:

后一节较好，前面有些淡了，问候天闲云淡诗人！！ _________________ 走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮 ——拙作《离开村庄》 http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-09 00:22:03 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

我激情的手指
播响季节的琴弦
抑扬顿挫中
解读岁月的漂染

暗扣写诗
倒是很自然

问候和平！谢你鼓励

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-09 01:08:09 Post subject:

韩少君 wrote:

如今，麦田沉甸甸
我留下一首虚空的诗
坐回窗前

谁家风筝吹断线，落在画堂西。

你的窗子面向麦田，麦芒痒痒地爬上窗台——

问好朋友。谢提读

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-09 01:09:54 Post subject:

杨海军 wrote:

后一节较好，前面有些淡了，问候天闲云淡诗人！！ Smile

感谢朋友直言。问好。

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2007-06-09 03:39:05 Post subject:

情感饱满,娴熟的语言.

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-06-09 08:06:08 Post subject:

六月该是收获的季节了,问好云闲,状态不错哦~

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-11 19:40:55 Post subject:

赵福治 wrote:

情感饱满,娴熟的语言.

问好福治！鼓励的同时别忘指点

天淡云闲
童生

Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 74

天淡云闲Collection

Posted: 2007-06-11 20:01:17 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

六月该是收获的季节了,问好云闲,状态不错哦~

谢明月提读。问好！

燕庄生铁
秀才

Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 116

燕庄生铁Collection

Posted: 2007-06-11 23:13:58 Post subject:

自然。问好

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