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《等待,是最初的苍老》
沙漠
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沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-05-04 02:28:13    Post subject: 《等待,是最初的苍老》 Reply with quote

《等待,是最初的苍老》一

我们追逐一支青葱的箭
流水和时光,在一条河边。我忽然发现
到对岸的距离,成了一种阻挡的等待
等待一只船,泅渡初露黄意的心瓣

天空微微撕裂口子,漏出一丝轻叹
曾经的少年已不在河边
生命还在行走。天空从明到暗
等待常常走来,像许多点规划出一条线
中间的细节,欢乐和悲伤

这条线,伸向最终的故乡
我们在那里颐养天年
故乡的路能多远?
在最初的等待里,我抚摩那最初的苍老
开始了第一次眺望

《等待,是最初的苍老》二

在过程中欢笑
像一列列车,轰响在春风里
催开整片整片的油菜花
隧道的尽头和入口一样
充满好奇

你唇边的露水
让语言晶莹纯粹
和一座山一条河的距离,如同你的手
到心。一个季节在后一个季节里
闪耀回溯,身边的爱人更加亲密

亲爱的事物,在你的眉目间筑巢
或放飞,一样深情了岁月
而你的某一次远望,看到了第一片落叶
在长鸣的汽笛声里
缓缓飘下
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江晨
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PostPosted: 2007-05-04 04:31:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗
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和平岛
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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Location: Victoria, Canada
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PostPosted: 2007-05-04 07:26:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言老道
但总感觉少了点什么
让我过目不忘
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沙漠
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PostPosted: 2007-05-04 23:14:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好江晨、岛兄!
岛兄说的是,我也有这样的遗憾:)
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hepingdao
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PostPosted: 2007-05-05 05:33:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

沙漠 wrote:
问好江晨、岛兄!
岛兄说的是,我也有这样的遗憾:)


是我说得比较狠了
你写得很老道了
期待你写出更出色的作品
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ZY
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PostPosted: 2007-05-05 07:16:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

到对岸的距离,成了一种阻挡的等待

*这里头心思曲折.
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远方有佳人
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PostPosted: 2007-05-05 20:13:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错不错
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杨海军
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 2007-05-05 21:56:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

妙极!!让人爱不释手的一组!!问候诗人!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
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沙漠
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 05:49:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢朋友们到来!这是老的拿出来改了一下,希望过两年还能改一改Smile
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陈若祥
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PostPosted: 2007-05-07 20:55:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

《等待,是最初的苍老》一 中
“这条线,伸向最终的故乡
我们在那里颐养天年
故乡的路能多远?
在最初的等待里,我抚摩那最初的苍老
开始了第一次眺望 ”一节使得本首诗没了空白,如仅留下“伸向最终的故乡”放在第二节最后是否好些?一己之见,仅供参考啊。
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杨光
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PostPosted: 2007-05-08 00:26:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

提读,问好
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燕庄生铁
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PostPosted: 2007-05-08 02:23:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

清晰,诗味浓.

问好沙漠.
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