床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡。

[博弈]

床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡。

1 八音節帶韻
Before my bed a moonlight land
I thought frost had come on the sand
Head raised, I gaze at the bright moon
Head bowed, I think of my homeland

2 五音節帶韻
bed front moonlight grown
thought t'was frost on ground
head up watch moon glows
head down home un-found


which one you like more?

or, you have another one.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

是谁的译作？

五音節帶韻 的 是直译，和中文一样没主语。我想讲英文的人会比较喜欢那八音節帶韻 的。
带了韵的有时就会有限制，有一种只好这样了的感觉。如：

I thought frost had come on the sand

尾韵 sand ,一下把我带到了沙滩。


随便说说。
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

”诗人已死“

客观探讨，提了诗人名反而放不开。
来自两位不同的人的翻译。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[博弈]

Google 翻译版。


Moonlight, the suspect

is frost on the floor.

Raise my eyes to the moon,

looking down and think of home.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

[Lake]

[博弈]

[Lake]

是只想听听华人的看法呢还是任何人的看法？ 我的说了。
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

润和人嗫。

任何人啊。
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

[博弈]

good feedback, thanks.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Lake]

One more from E:

I think the 8 syllable translation is more clearly western and therefore more clearly a translation. The other one is more stilted to my ear and therefore more stylised eastern to the extent it feels less authentic.

A couple of other word changes - moonlit rather than moonlight. Also come is rather weak and has an unfortunate sexual connotation you might not want. It might not be so literal in translation but glazed would be a possible alternative and fits with the other sonics.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

[博弈]

interesting views and the choice of word "glaze", I like it.

thanks again.
_________________
（在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

[Rhapsodia]

"Don't use "t'was" - it's a hundreds of years out-of-date expression. "

This poem was more than tens of "hundreds of years" old by itself.

[Lake]

The problem is "t'was" is the only expression that has an ancient flavor, the rest of the poem doesn't taste old at all.
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins