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天籁 Sounds of Nature

Lake
举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection

Posted: 2007-04-26 08:51:57 Post subject: 天籁 Sounds of Nature

请欣赏宗次郎（Sojiro）的陶笛《故乡的原风景》天籁远山浮天外鹭鸶徘徊一鉴开陶笛奏万籁 Sounds of Nature Mountains float afar Egrets hover, mirror pond Ocarina sings 春天话语谁踢落雪袄冰凌坠滴声声娇听嫩绿浅笑 Whisper of Spring Who kicks off soft snow Drips, drops, sound of icicles Naked green giggles . _________________ the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-04-26 20:46:57 Post subject:

Got your music to the player _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-04-26 20:49:49 Post subject:

陶笛奏万籁 --> 奏 > 咛　？？ Second Haiku is fantastic ... _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

Lake
举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection

Posted: 2007-04-27 06:05:41 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

陶笛奏万籁 --> 奏 > 咛　？？

Second Haiku is fantastic ...

Cool

Thanks for the music, Kokho.

“奏”，you are spot on. Very Happy

我一直也在琢磨这个字，觉得生硬了些，一时又找不到合适的。想到“鸣”，感觉也不好。
“咛”，有“一再嘱咐“的意思。还有其他的词语供选择吗？网上哪里有汉语同义词，反义词的字典？能否推荐一两个？

很高兴你喜欢第二首，能不能讲讲凡泰斯替刻在哪里？ Laughing

因为读者对这首有不同的反响，有的说好，有的说文体不一致（写的时候从未考虑文体），如所评（评的是中文版）：

第一句：白话体
第二句：文言体
第三句：白话+文言体
文体要一致。

你的看法？

Many thanks!
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-04-29 09:49:44 Post subject:

文体要一致。 <> I think is not necessary... some people are difficult by nature ) .. The second one is fantastic because it is spontaneous; Also it has sound, scene, animation and optimism in the ending ! .. _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

Lake
举人

Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection

Posted: 2007-04-29 12:06:02 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

文体要一致。

<> I think is not necessary... some people are difficult by nature Wink

)

..

The second one is fantastic because it is spontaneous;
Also it has sound, scene, animation and optimism in the ending !

..

谢谢 Kokho 的评读！是看了这个舞蹈后写的。

_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-05-01 19:54:13 Post subject:

Very nice photo _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

钓月
秀才

Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection

Posted: 2008-04-17 16:28:27 Post subject:

品读.两首小诗均漂亮! _________________ 欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮 http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875 http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

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Maple Review Home -> English Poetry

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