Lake
举人
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286
LakeCollection |
 Posted: 2008-07-16 16:20:43 Post subject: |
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| hepingdao wrote: |
中文和英文有点区别, 在这里, 感觉用不同的表达方式更好一些
记得看过一个电影，叫beautiful mind
感觉这个词很酷
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你的
无边的月色
烘托
如此的意境
更酷！ 你的英文版也挺好，就是只闻风不见月了。 
_________________
the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins |
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hepingdao
Site Admin
Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106
hepingdaoCollection |
| Posted: 2008-07-16 16:29:42 Post subject: |
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总感觉直译不太好:
Only the boundless moonlight
can shine out such a marvellous artistic conception
自己写的,只是想找最恰当的文字,并不要硬来
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为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫! |
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朱煜国
秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 121
朱煜国Collection |
| Posted: 2008-07-19 06:01:25 Post subject: 十分感谢戴珏、BAKE |
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十分感谢戴珏、BAKE二位贤达！
今后请多指正支持！ |
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朱煜国
秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 121
朱煜国Collection |
| Posted: 2008-07-19 06:04:00 Post subject: 十分感谢戴珏、LAKE |
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十分感谢戴珏、LAKE二位贤达！
今后请多指正支持！ |
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白水
大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection |
| Posted: 2008-07-19 17:02:14 Post subject: |
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| Lake wrote: |
| 朱煜国 wrote: |
我把该诗歌与和平岛君的同名贺诗连同英译文一起收入我的《风月无边》一书了！这本同时作为中学语文“新课标”课外读本，既提高学生的作文，加上后学生又可以背两首英文诗歌了。 Very Happy
另：附上白水《风月无边》英译文——
Boundless Wind and Moonlight
Congratulations on the publication of Prose Collections by Mr. Zhu YuGuo
By 白水Moonlight
A flawless Moon
is not the Moon
and the boundless wind is wind
how is the stone
disordered Moonlight
embroil your emerging ideas
the sleeping dragon become a worm
a stone which wouldn’t remold the sky
it stand tranquilly
under the tai Mountain
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祝贺！
作为学生的读本马虎不得。
disordered Moonlight
embroil your emerging ideas -月光是单数， 动词 embroil 也应是单数。
the sleeping dragon become a worm- 同样, become 也应是单数。
a stone which wouldn’t remold the sky
it stand tranquilly - 这里，stone 的 主要动词应该是 stand, 不然就不是一个完整句子。因此此句可写成, a stone which wouldn't remold the sky/stands tranquilly (or tranquil).
这里提到的主要是语法问题。另外
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Lake, thanks for you check it carefully, I have changed a little. |
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朱煜国
秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 121
朱煜国Collection |
| Posted: 2008-07-26 04:34:12 Post subject: |
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| 哈哈，我改过来了。就诗歌翻译上，也能学很多实用的东西。谢谢！ |
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朱煜国
秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 121
朱煜国Collection |
| Posted: 2008-08-04 23:57:57 Post subject: 《风月无边》即将出版 |
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《风月无边》即将出版由中国文史出版社出版。由著名文史学家、文艺评论家、博士生导师徐传武教授作序。
就按和平岛先生的意思，等书一到济南，即寄往和平岛君处，由您转给白水大姐、七小姐等在加拿大的文友。 |
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