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[原创］五绝－除夕
莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-16 19:08:47    Post subject: [原创］五绝－除夕 Reply with quote

街巷红装透，欢歌伴曲幽。
迎年书语秀，辞岁赋诗稠。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-18 19:41:58    Post subject: Reply with quote
书香飘逸的节日
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-18 21:58:10    Post subject: Reply with quote
白水 Moonlight wrote:
书香飘逸的节日
呵呵，

白水兄过年好，新春快乐、身体健康、时时顺心、万事如意、恭喜发财、抬头见喜！
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-19 01:43:28    Post subject: Reply with quote
优美，对仗工整。

个见：后两句不用对仗，可能更为潇洒，流畅。

春节好
_________________
《北美枫》司马策风文集

http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-02-19 22:56:34    Post subject: Reply with quote
司马策风 wrote:
优美，对仗工整。

个见：后两句不用对仗，可能更为潇洒，流畅。

春节好


司马兄过年好，新春快乐、身体健康、时时顺心、万事如意、恭喜发财、抬头见喜！
我觉得对仗与流畅并不矛盾。
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