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[汉英微型诗] 三片树叶
William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2008-12-18 14:40:19    Post subject: [汉英微型诗] 三片树叶 Reply with quote

三片树叶

黄叶说落叶:完了

青叶说黄叶:你也快了

说着,青叶开始发黄了


Three Leaves of the Tree

Yellow leaf tells the falling one, going down so low

Green leaf tells the yellow one, soon you will follow

While saying that, the green one is turning yellow
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Lake
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PostPosted: 2008-12-18 19:05:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good one. Smile

Two minor points:

Three Leaves of the Tree - Would "Three Leaves" be enough?

the green one is getting yellow - is "turning yellow" better?
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2008-12-19 05:02:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

THanks!

What's the diffrence between the grass leaf and the tree leaf?
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PostPosted: 2008-12-19 11:46:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

These are just my thoughts, they may not fit in your poem. So take it or leave it.

But I see you have changed your poem again.

When you read "falling leaves", would you think of grass leaves? I wouldn't.
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2008-12-19 14:55:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

the falling leaf from the tree
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PostPosted: 2008-12-20 15:56:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

See, that's what I meant. Laughing
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PostPosted: 2008-12-20 16:16:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

love the poem,it's special
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PostPosted: 2008-12-20 16:17:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

小哲理诗歌有时反而有点意思
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William Zhou周道模
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PostPosted: 2008-12-21 02:57:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢 jemmy 的鼓励!
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