| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-23 15:16:53    Post subject: 五律	游子吟 |   |  
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				| 五律	游子吟 
 故乡千万里,回望已依稀。
 企盼慈母线,重缝游子衣。
 天涯怀旧友,海外遇新知。
 垂钓烟波处,遥观云起时。
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-24 05:44:17    Post subject: |   |  
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				| "宿鸟恋旧林,池鱼思故渊".庆宏此诗意脉相通. 
 第三联似可在对仗上再作斟酌.
 _________________
 ++++++++++++++
 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-24 13:49:22    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 黄洋界 wrote: |  
	  | "宿鸟恋旧林,池鱼思故渊".庆宏此诗意脉相通. ...
 |  谢黄老师理解并指点。同是天涯客,常怀故乡情。
 第三联改为“天涯怀旧友,海外遇新知。”,如何?
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		| 黄洋界 探花
 
  
 Joined: 23 Mar 2007
 Posts: 3301
 Location: 多伦多,加拿大
 黄洋界Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-25 11:21:59    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 经您一改动,既工对,又切情.好! _________________
 ++++++++++++++
 喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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		| 游向高原的鱼 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 20 May 2007
 Posts: 382
 
 游向高原的鱼Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-26 03:00:24    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 企盼慈母线,重缝游子衣。 天涯怀旧友,海外遇新知。
 垂钓烟波处,遥观云起时。
 
 这几句让人想到母子情、朋友情、想做官的心情。
 你是不是这个意思啊?
 _________________
 人生乃是一面镜子,在其中认识自己。
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-26 15:34:38    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 黄洋界 wrote: |  
	  | 经您一改动,既工对,又切情.好! |  谢黄老师鼓励!问好!
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-26 15:40:57    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 游向高原的鱼 wrote: |  
	  | 企盼慈母线,重缝游子衣。 ...
 |  谢鱼兄赏读。你理解的后一层意思有误。我诗最后两句来源于:
 〈终南别业〉
 唐  王维
 行到水穷处,坐看云起时。
 偶然值林叟,谈笑无还期。
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		| 快乐王子 童生
 
 
 Joined: 02 Jul 2008
 Posts: 2
 
 快乐王子Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-07-02 23:15:14    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 却是好诗, 故乡千万里,回望已依稀。
 企盼慈母线,重缝游子衣。
 天涯怀旧友,海外遇新知。
 垂钓烟波处,遥观云起时。
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		| qinghongh 榜眼
 
 
 Joined: 14 Oct 2007
 Posts: 4110
 
 qinghonghCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-07-04 15:36:41    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢赏读。欢迎新朋友!
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