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《白》
了因大兄
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Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 209

了因大兄Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-27 06:46:17    Post subject: 《白》 Reply with quote

《白》

用一只脚,立在河边
它立的很稳。

水流过去了,游走的还有容颜
时间的浪花,有时翻飞在裙边

古典,闪在白菊的脸上
我的月,偏爱槐花
偏爱藕断丝连。几度在人间
偏向贫血。

2008/5/27
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我不是树上的黑木耳,我被爱过
不能随随便便不回家
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-05-30 19:38:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

引人入迷。令人着迷。
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郭全华
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

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PostPosted: 2008-05-31 04:09:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

意境很好
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借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-31 05:28:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

很美的意境~回味无穷!问好了因大兄!
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-31 16:51:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

[明月乱弹]:一首好诗,就是能引起你强烈的感情共鸣,让你觉得这首诗歌也许就是为你而写。张庆超的这首就有这样奇妙的效果,我恐怕许多名字与月有关的,都要和我一样自做多情了。

  “用一只脚,立在河边”,这样的比喻很新奇,又赋于月亮拟人的形态。她是站立在时间的河水,而随着时间的流逝,流走的还有她年轻的容颜。用浪花来形容月亮的裙边也很形象,无论是从一副画面上想象,还是从寓意上来讲,都很贴切。

  诗人的笔触没有停留在表面的描写,接下来的深入到月亮的内质。月亮,她有一张古典的脸,像白菊一样。“白菊”有傲立寒秋,“我花杀后百花杀”的气节,月还“偏爱槐花”,槐花的色是青白色,和月亮相同,在花的家族里,槐花是无名无份的,不和牡丹比富贵,不和玫瑰比娇艳,槐花有的只是自身散发的淡淡清香和可供人们入食、入药的奉献精神。这正和我们常见而熟视无睹的月亮一样,它们是那样不引人注目,也许只有孤独的人才会留意天上的月亮。但在现在这样城市森林里,被高大的楼群遮蔽,想也不会经常能看到,大概只有乡村野岭才能看到了。“偏爱藕断丝连。几度在人间/偏向贫血。” 月的阴晴圆缺、循环往复和“藕断丝连”是多么相象,月亮是多情的,所以才会“多情自古空余恨”,“几度在人间,偏向贫血”。

  “白菊”、“槐花”、“藕”这三个意象,都和月的颜色相通,而这三个代表性的意象又分别象征了一个叫“月”的姑娘的外貌、品性和她的情感。这首诗只短短八行,但立意精巧,诗意饱满,给人留下回味无穷的想象,不能不令人击案赞叹。

  好诗不在长短,而在于能在常规的意象中寻到突破点,发现新意,令人耳目一新,给人回味。张庆超这首诗歌就做到了。
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阿依琼裙
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Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-01 22:22:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

韵意悠长~~~
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