| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-25 06:02:26    Post subject: 春天,瓶养着的枝条 |   |  
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				| 那枝梅跟那枝桃 是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
 那时的它们,正雪白着,绯红着
 像悠悠的心事,离根水养
 
 
 追春的行程,憔悴
 不可避免,零落的美丽
 远离眼泪,尽管
 在依附着水
 
 短暂的沉寂,走过
 无根的瓶里
 有细细的绿
 开始苏醒
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		| 半溪明月 榜眼
 
  
 Joined: 30 Sep 2006
 Posts: 4760
 
 半溪明月Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-25 16:27:30    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 无根的花瓶里,一样 细细的绿在秃枝上
 苏醒着
 
 不错的句子~问好荷梦!
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		| 笑后 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 03 Feb 2008
 Posts: 136
 Location: From nanjing
 笑后Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-25 19:19:22    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 正雪白着,绯红着春 像悠悠的心事,离根水养
 
 喜欢这样的诗句,问好荷梦!
 _________________
 廖蕙琳 以写悼亡诗而自成一家,一意孤行!
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-27 02:43:10    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 半溪明月 wrote: |  
	  | 无根的花瓶里,一样 细细的绿在秃枝上
 苏醒着
 
 不错的句子~问好荷梦!
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 谢谢明月鼓励。又作了些修改,请批!
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-27 02:51:13    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢笑后的喜欢,回好!
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		| 溪语 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 16 Mar 2007
 Posts: 509
 Location: 中国恩施
 溪语Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-27 05:19:45    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 雪白着,绯红着 像悠悠的心事
 _________________
 溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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		| 詩盜喜裸評 进士出身
 
  
 Joined: 15 May 2007
 Posts: 2984
 Location: 台湾,台北
 詩盜喜裸評Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-27 09:41:42    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 花枝!墨鱼的一种~乌贼!俺的同事~ _________________
 可情可理,去捧就真
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-28 01:33:53    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 问好溪语! 诗盗,我把题目改了,看你还说什么?(忍不住地好奇:你到底是么事“兽类”?跟墨鱼同事,难不成是海豹,或者海狮。。。。)
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		| 莞君 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 20 Oct 2007
 Posts: 561
 Location: 中国 陕西
 莞君Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-28 02:08:47    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 欣赏了  不错啊   莞君问好你 _________________
 莞君
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		| 忆江南 童生
 
 
 Joined: 26 Mar 2008
 Posts: 21
 Location: 中国广东
 忆江南Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-28 03:06:15    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 读出了朱自清<<春>>的韵致! _________________
 让心漂流......
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-28 20:13:35    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 那枝梅跟那枝桃 是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
 
 有意境. 喜欢
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-31 05:53:04    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢谢莞君和忆江南! 回好!
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-31 05:55:51    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 白水 Moonlight wrote: |  
	  | 那枝梅跟那枝桃 是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
 
 有意境. 喜欢
  |  谢谢白水喜欢!
 晚上好!
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		| William Zhou周道模 探花
 
 
 Joined: 10 Jun 2007
 Posts: 3950
 Location: 中国四川广汉
 William Zhou周道模Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-03-31 14:16:53    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 诗语以叙说为主,如能“唱”起来,则更好。(个见供参考) _________________
 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
 周道模
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		| nobody 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 31 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2651
 Location: Madtown
 nobodyCollection
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				|  Posted: 2008-04-01 20:45:18    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 两头很好,尤其是首节,开得很好。 中间平了。
 _________________
 I'm nobody! Who are you?
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		| 荷梦 进士出身
 
 
 Joined: 19 Dec 2006
 Posts: 2826
 Location: 湖北,黄梅
 荷梦Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-04-02 02:01:55    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢道模与nobody指教! 中间一节实了,没“唱”起来。。。。
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		| 阿依琼裙 秀才
 
  
 Joined: 09 Apr 2007
 Posts: 920
 Location: 废墟之上
 阿依琼裙Collection
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		| wq0066 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 01 Jun 2008
 Posts: 126
 Location: 中国重庆
 wq0066Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-06-13 16:42:19    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 好诗,拜读! 
 问好朋友!
 _________________
 天边云一朵 苍海粟一粒 云儿朵朵随风飘 粟儿粒粒满山崖
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