荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-25 06:02:26 Post subject: 春天,瓶养着的枝条 |
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那枝梅跟那枝桃
是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
那时的它们,正雪白着,绯红着
像悠悠的心事,离根水养
追春的行程,憔悴
不可避免,零落的美丽
远离眼泪,尽管
在依附着水
短暂的沉寂,走过
无根的瓶里
有细细的绿
开始苏醒 |
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半溪明月 榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-25 16:27:30 Post subject: |
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无根的花瓶里,一样
细细的绿在秃枝上
苏醒着
不错的句子~问好荷梦! |
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笑后 秀才
Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 136 Location: From nanjing 笑后Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-25 19:19:22 Post subject: |
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正雪白着,绯红着春
像悠悠的心事,离根水养
喜欢这样的诗句,问好荷梦! _________________ 廖蕙琳 以写悼亡诗而自成一家,一意孤行! |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-27 02:43:10 Post subject: |
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半溪明月 wrote: |
无根的花瓶里,一样
细细的绿在秃枝上
苏醒着
不错的句子~问好荷梦! |
谢谢明月鼓励。又作了些修改,请批! |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-27 02:51:13 Post subject: |
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谢谢笑后的喜欢,回好! |
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溪语 秀才
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 509 Location: 中国恩施 溪语Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-27 05:19:45 Post subject: |
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雪白着,绯红着
像悠悠的心事 _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西 |
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詩盜喜裸評 进士出身
Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-27 09:41:42 Post subject: |
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花枝!墨鱼的一种~乌贼!俺的同事~ _________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 01:33:53 Post subject: |
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问好溪语!
诗盗,我把题目改了,看你还说什么?(忍不住地好奇:你到底是么事“兽类”?跟墨鱼同事,难不成是海豹,或者海狮。。。。) |
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莞君 秀才
Joined: 20 Oct 2007 Posts: 561 Location: 中国 陕西 莞君Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 02:08:47 Post subject: |
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欣赏了 不错啊 莞君问好你 _________________ 莞君 |
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忆江南 童生
Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 21 Location: 中国广东 忆江南Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 03:06:15 Post subject: |
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读出了朱自清<<春>>的韵致! _________________ 让心漂流...... |
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白水 大学士
Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 14102 Location: TORONTO 白水Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 20:13:35 Post subject: |
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那枝梅跟那枝桃
是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
有意境. 喜欢 |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-31 05:53:04 Post subject: |
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谢谢莞君和忆江南!
回好! |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-31 05:55:51 Post subject: |
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白水 Moonlight wrote: |
那枝梅跟那枝桃
是接替一束玫瑰,挤进玻璃瓶的
有意境. 喜欢 |
谢谢白水喜欢!
晚上好! |
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William Zhou周道模 探花
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 3950 Location: 中国四川广汉 William Zhou周道模Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-31 14:16:53 Post subject: |
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诗语以叙说为主,如能“唱”起来,则更好。(个见供参考) _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模 |
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nobody 进士出身
Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 2651 Location: Madtown nobodyCollection |
Posted: 2008-04-01 20:45:18 Post subject: |
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两头很好,尤其是首节,开得很好。
中间平了。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you? |
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荷梦 进士出身
Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2826 Location: 湖北,黄梅 荷梦Collection |
Posted: 2008-04-02 02:01:55 Post subject: |
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谢道模与nobody指教!
中间一节实了,没“唱”起来。。。。 |
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阿依琼裙 秀才
Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 920 Location: 废墟之上 阿依琼裙Collection |
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wq0066 秀才
Joined: 01 Jun 2008 Posts: 126 Location: 中国重庆 wq0066Collection |
Posted: 2008-06-13 16:42:19 Post subject: |
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好诗,拜读!
问好朋友! _________________ 天边云一朵 苍海粟一粒 云儿朵朵随风飘 粟儿粒粒满山崖 |
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